Tattoos
by The.Dragon.Singer
Summary: Leon and Ellie are best friends, living together in Leon's apartment above her auto shop. When their uncles give them a call and offer a job at NEST, they take it. And it turns out to be an offer of a life time. Mirage/OC, Sideswipe/OC/Sunstreaker
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or Ellie. Ellie belongs to my best friend, Kurohane Ookami. **

* * *

"Honey! I'm home!"

"I'm back-" There was a loud thump at the back of the shop. "_SON OF A WHORE_!"

The dark skinned young woman snickered as she strode around the front desk.

"Don't laugh at me, Ellie!"

"But it's _amusing_."

"You're a nurse. People's pain isn't_ supposed_ to be amusing." The young woman who hit her head on the hood of the car she was fixing narrowed her green eyes.

"But it is."

"I'm never coming to you if I get seriously injured."

"Sure you will, Leon!" Ellie grinned, planting her hands on her hips.

"I will not!"

"Yes, you will."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No!" Leon hefted a wrench. "Don't make me use this!"

"Please you wouldn't harm your _dearest_ roommate. Would you?" Ellie pouted, giving her friend puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm very tempted." Leon growled, shaking her shaggy chocolate bangs out of her face.

"Well, it's very hard to take you seriously when you have grease on most of your face." Ellie snickered, ducking as the wrench came flying towards her head.

"Out!" Leon yelled, reaching for another tool. "Go make dinner!"

"But I've been on my feet all day!" Ellie complained, tugging her long black hair out of the professional bun at the base of her neck.

"Well, I've been bent over this car all day with my ass in the air. March! And don't you say anything about views!"

Ellie sighed, tugging off her shirt as she climbed the stairs to their apartment above the mechanic's shop.

The young nurse paused before the mirror in the bathroom, examining her face for any blemishes.

Her light mocha skin was –thankfully- clean, and her dark green eyes were lined with black eyeliner. Straight black hair stuck out all over her head and down to her shoulders.

Ellie grinned, striding to the kitchen after pulling on a baggy shirt.

"Son of a whore face!" Leon yelled from the stairs.

"Did you trip up the stairs?" The darker woman paused. "_Again_?"

"No!" The brunette scoffed, appearing in the door rubbing her elbow. "I was…uh…testing my ninja skills!"

"And how's _that_ going for you?" Ellie skirted around the lemons with a frown before grabbing a can of soup.

"They…still need some work." Leon grumbled, heading for the bathroom to rid herself of the grease she had accumulated over the day. It was nearly ten minutes later when she reappeared in a pair of baggy pajama pants and a long t-shirt.

"Smells good." Leon began searching the fridge. "Hey, Ellie…?"

"There isn't any left. You finished it yesterday." Ellie laughed, pouring soup into two bowls.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Leon growled, slamming it shut and stomping over to the table where she picked up her soup.

The phone rang as Ellie set her bowl down.

"Hello?"

"_Ellie?"_

"_SON OF A BITCH_!"

"You burnt yourself didn't you?" Ellie asked her best friend, leaning against the counter with the phone away from her mouth.

"You could have warned me that it was hot!"

"It's soup. It's steaming." Ellie snorted, turning her attention back to the phone.

"Sorry. Can I ask who's calling?" The tall African-American woman asked, tilting her head.

"_Do you want to put us on speaker phone? We need to talk to both of you."_ Ellie frowned, but put it on speaker setting it on the counter."_HI LEON!"_

Leon spat out the mouthful of mushroom soup all over the table.

"Uncle Will?!" She coughed, light green eyes wide.

"_And me."_

"Uncle Epps!" Ellie looked surprised.

"_Nice job, kiddo. Do you have a computer handy? With a camera?"_

"Yeah. Video chat?" Leon grinned like an idiot, darting to the computer and booting it up.

Epps and Will appeared on the screen.

"HI WILL!" Leon yelled. The commander laughed as Ellie leaned over her shoulder.

"How are our girls?" Epps grinned, arms folded across his chest as he leaned back in his chair.

"We're fine." Leon nodded, chocolate hair bobbing in it's wet ponytail.

"Other than getting a wrench thrown at me."

"You had it coming!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Their uncles laughed, and the two girls focused on the screen with a sheepish grin.

"So what did you suddenly contact us for?" Leon asked, curiosity in her tone. "You're in Washington now, right?"

Lennox nodded.

"We've got an offer for you." Epps grinned. "We're having a bit of trouble with fixing our mechanical… stuff here, and we have a bunch of injured people."

"So you want us to come up to Washington." Leon paled beneath her tan.

"Okay, I know you don't like planes-" Will began.

"'Don't like' is an understatement. I _hate_ them." Leon shuddered, gesturing for him to continue.

"NEST wants to hire you to help out."

"NEST as in you two." Ellie snorted, rolling her eyes. "Does the director guy know?"

"Well, kind of. We were supposed to hire professionals-"

"I am a professional, thank you very much!" The brunette protested.

"-but we thought you'd want a shot."

"So you want us," Ellie gestured to the two of them. "To go up to cold Washington to work at NEST for an unidentified amount of time?"

Both men nodded.

"You want us to leave sunny San Francisco to go there." She frowned.

"Ellie!" Leon threw an arm around her best friend. "Where's your sense of adventure!?"

"I'm plenty adventurous. Where it's warm."

"We'll take the job. But _only_ if we can drive up." Leon ignored her friend.

"We've already sent you a jet…" Will gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm going to castrate you when we get there." Leon snarled as Epps disconnected.

"Come on, Leon, where's your sense of adventure!?"


	2. Diego Garcia

_**Bee talking**_

* * *

The plane flight consisted of Leon clutching the seats and sitting rigidly for several hours while Ellie snored peacefully beside her.

The brunette was tempted to kiss the ground as she hurled herself off the metal contraption, but it was pouring rain.

Ellie grumbled to herself, opening an umbrella to try and prevent her copious amounts of hair from frizzing.

Leon's green eyes locked with the identical ones of her uncle and she scowled, turning to the dark man beside him. Epps held out his arms and she hugged him before she climbed into the military vehicle idling behind the two.

"Uncle Epps!" Ellie grinned, lowering the umbrella and sighing as the weather attacked, leaving her hair in a large poofy mess. "Nice to see you again."

The black soldier laughed, striding around the jeep to the other side.

"What no hug for me?" Will asked his niece as he got into the driver's seat. She glared, and turned away, watching the rain beat against the window.

"She'll give you the silent treatment until you bribe her." Ellie muttered as she pat his shoulder.

"Traitor." Leon growled.

The two men let out a laugh as they roared down the road.

Once Will had handed Leon a burger, fries, and extra large milkshake, she became more civil.

"So I have good news and bad news." The commander sighed as they pulled into a nice hotel.

"Shit." Ellie cursed, pulling her hood up as she stepped out.

"The good news is we'll be here for a few days."

"And the bad news?" Leon lifted an eyebrow.

"We'll tell you in a few days."

She ducked out of the vehicle, hefting the large bag by her feet over her shoulder and darting through the rain to the entrance, where the woman at the desk gave the a room key. The two men headed for the bar while Leon and Ellie went upstairs to sleep off jet lag.

* * *

"Epps, will you tell my bastard uncle that I'm going to castrate him? With a screwdriver."

"Sure!" Epps turned, brown eyes seeking out the commander across the runway. "_WILL_!"

He turned at the yell.

"_LEON'S GONNA CASTRATE YOU WILL A SCREWDRIVER!_"

Ellie snorted with laughter, patting her friend's shoulder as Will stared.

"I wish someone would just knock me out or something." She grumbled, staring down at the handcuffs attaching her to the chair she was seated on.

The mechanic had tried to bolt away from the large cargo plane carrying them towards Diego Garcia. Which was on the other side of the world.

Meaning Leon was going to be stuck in a plane...for a very long time.

She glanced up at Epps. "You wouldn't happen to have any rum on you? Or knocking-out meds?"

Ellie muttered something under her breath and then gave Leon a good punch to the head.

"What did you just do!?" Epps stared.

"I knocked her out. She'll hate me for a few days and then get over it." The young woman strode calmly onto the cargo plane and began strapping herself in.

* * *

Leon woke up with a pounding headache, stiff neck, and the odd sensation that they were landing.

"Mornin', Sleeping Beauty." Ellie chirped next to her, one of her headphones in.

"I'm on a plane, aren't I?" The brunette whimpered, clutching her head with her hand-cuffed hands.

Ellie nodded, jolting as the plane landed and began unstrapping herself and then her friend. Will sidled over and lifted the key for her handcuffs.

"You okay?" He asked his niece as he unlocked her.

She unstrapped herself, rolling her shoulders before punching him in the nose.

Epps roared with laughter.

"_Never_ make me do that again." Leon barked, stomping off the plane. Will grumbled under his breath, straightening his broken nose and wiping blood off his face.

"She's got a good arm." Fig snickered, bolting past his commander.

Once everything had settled down, Epps led Ellie off down the hall towards the medical bay, and Will took Leon's tool box. He gestured for her to enter the hanger he had led them to first, and grinned when she stopped dead only two steps into the room.

"I get to work with these?" She asked, staring at the hanger filled with mostly sports cars, a custom painted Peterbilt, a Topkick, and two motorcycles.

"Yup." Will grinned, placing the tool box down. Leon's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning as she darted forward, eyes glued on the bright red Ferrari before her.

"Ferrari!" She hugged it before spotting a silver Corvette and hugging that one too.

"Topkick!" She planted a kiss on the black truck, drawing a snicker from Will as he clapped his hand over his mouth.

Leon's eyes went wide, and she stopped dead. Will followed her gaze and wanted to beat his head against a wall. Of course it was the golden Lamborghini parked in the corner.

"So pretty!" Leon cooed, trailing her fingers along the shining metal as she strode around it, before popping the hood open. "Hot damn!"

Will coughed.

"Lots to see. Let's move along!" He grabbed her arm and ran from the hanger. Leon seemed a little dazed as he pushed her into the second hanger.

A red Chevrolet Trax, a green and black Beat, a lime green Hummer, and a very scratched yellow Camaro sat inside.

"My tool box." Leon snatched it away before running to the red Trax.

"I'll leave you to it then."

The brunette didn't notice him leave, half in the Trax's interior and fiddling with the radio.

She immediately cranked the music she had plugged in, threw her hair up in a ponytail and started fixing dents. There was a rather long scratch along one side, but luckily Leon had a small can filled with red paint in her tool box so she could fix it.

* * *

"_GO GET IT! NOW! THIS IS NO WAY TO LEAVE AN INJURED PATIENT_!" Ellie screamed, shoving her uncle out the door before running to attend to the still bleeding men before her.

"She and Ratchet would get along fine." Epps grumbled as he hailed another man to work for Ellie, before heading in Will's direction.

"How's Ellie?" The sandy haired man asked his friend, pausing by the corner of the hall.

"She's fine. Don't know about the guy I sent in there to help. She and Ratchet would be good friends. Speaking of Ratchet -and the Autobots in general- how's it going with Leon?"

"I took her to the hanger with Optimus first." Will chuckled. "She looked like a kid in the candy store."

"Did she? What happened?" Epps asked, following his friend towards the mess hall.

"Well, let's see." Will lifted his hand and began to count things off on his fingers. "She hugged Mirage and Sideswipe, kissed Ironhide's hood, and practically groped Sunstreaker before checking out his engine."

Epps laughed.

"Then I took her to Skidz, Mudflap, Bumblebee and Ratchet. I left her fixing Mudflap." He picked up a burger.

"Don't you think she'd be hungry by now? We've been here at least two hours, and after not eating all day..." He pointed to the counter with the burgers. Will grabbed one, and stuffed his in his mouth before leading Epps back to the two hangers.

Loud music blared from inside, and when the two men walked in they couldn't see their new mechanic anywhere.

Eventually they noticed a pair of legs underneath Bumblebee.

"Leon."

"_SON OF A WHORE_!" She smacked her head as she tried getting out from under the Camaro. The tanned female had a smear of grease across her right cheek. She chucked a rock over to the side.

"You hungry?" Epps lifted the tray in his hands. Leon stared at it before pouncing and attacked the meal with a moan.

"You have no idea how much I love you right now." She told him through a mouthful.

"How's repairs?" Will asked, tucking his hands in his pockets.

"The red one only had a few scratches and a rock the motor. The green one had a bunch of dents. The Hummer, as far as I can tell, is fine. The Camaro has a shit load of rocks in the gears. What the hell did you do to them!?"

"Egypt." Epps shrugged.

Leon sighed, standing. "Where am I staying?"

Epps motioned for her to follow him, and she did. The sound of shouting steadily grew louder.

"-_this! Lord almighty! What the hell were you thinking_!?"

Leon snorted stepping into the infirmary and slapping a hand over her best friend's mouth.

"Ellie, shut up. You're making everyone deaf. And you need a good nap." She dragged Ellie out the door, and Epps opened a large metal door for them after they'd walked down the hall awhile.

"This is kind of the only room we have available." He rubbed the back of his head, leaning against the horizontally sliding hanger door.

The room, although large, was simple. Two queen beds were pressed against the left wall and they were divided by a large cork board. Two desks were placed against the right wall, and in the far corner of the room was a set of stairs leading downwards.

Leon immediately sped down the stairs, examining the large closet and bathroom before climbing the stairs again.

"Well?" Will asked, eyebrow lifted. The girls shared looks, grabbed their uncles and shoved them out before slamming the door.

* * *

"Leon?" Ellie lifted her head from her pillows. The brunette glanced over her shoulder, hand on the door handle. "Where are you going?"

"Forgot my iPod." She gave a sheepish grin, scratching her head. Both girls, once they had put away everything they'd brought, had fallen into bed. "I'll be back in a bit."

Ellie nodded, head falling back down and soft snores following. Leon snickered, shutting the door quietly and retracing her steps to the hanger she'd been in earlier.

Leon opened the door and stepped in.

Her green eyes widened as they took in the red, green and yellow robots. They towered over her five seven height.

"_**Uh...hi?**_" The yellow one tilted his head. Leon screamed.


	3. Meet the Autobots

Will Lennox was not a heavy sleeper.

At all.

As his green eyes stared into the darkness of his room, he wondered why he had woken up in the first place.

A scream shot through the air.

_'Ah, that was why.' _

The man grabbed the gun under his pillow darting from his room, shamelessly clad in his duck patterned boxes.

He made an odd sight as he ran through the halls, bare feet slapping against the cold concrete floor as he was joined by Epps, who was also in boxers (although his were patterned with hearts), and carrying a rather large gun.

Another scream sounded and the two men burst into the hanger holding Bumblebee, Mudflap and Skidz...and Leon.

Bumblebee was making 'calm down' motions while the red Autobot and his twin argued over something.

"You scared the frag outta her." Mudflap grinned.

"Naw." Skidz snickered. "It was you's ugly face!"

"Who's ugly?"

"You's is!"

"I ain't ugly! You's ugly!"

"No, I ain't! What's wrong wit chu? Your optics going haywire again?!"

"I's better looking!" Mudflap glared, tackling his brother to the floor. Leon screamed again, green eyes shifting from the brawling twins to Bee and back again.

Will lowered his gun with a sigh, and placed a hand on his nieces shoulder.

She grabbed his hand, twisted her body and threw him over her shoulder, heaving angrily and in a slight panic.

"Calm down, Leo." Epps dropped his gun to the floor, pinning her hands to her sides as she struggled.

"Why are you so calm!?" She yelled, long chocolate hair flying around her face as she struggled.

"This is normal." Epps assured.

"_NORMAL! THIS IS ANYTHING BUT NORMAL! THEY'RE GIGANTIC FREAKING ROBOTS! HOW IS THAT NORMAL!?_" Leon screeched.

Will picked himself up, and looked his niece in the eye.

"Leon, calm down."

"_CALM DOWN? YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN! HOW THE HELL-_" She was cut off when Epps slapped a hand over her mouth.

"I'll take my hand off if you stop yelling." He winced as she bit him. "I have to admit, Will, your niece is a spitfire."

Leon stopped struggling, and glared at her two uncles, one biological and the other self-proclaimed.

"What the fuck?" She snarled, wrenching herself away from Epps. "Did it somehow _slip your mind_ to tell me I'd be fixing _fucking robots_!?"

"Autobots." Epps interrupted, but fell silent again at her glare.

"If it makes you feel any better, we were going to tell you tomorrow." Will gave a nervous smile.

"No. It doesn't." She crossed her arms over her loose white tanktop. "And the vehicles in the other room? Those are these so called Autobots too?"

"Yes."

Leon paled.

"Satan take me now." She cried, horror on her face. "I kissed one and practically groped another."

"Ironhide wasn't that amused." Will snickered. "I can't imagine Sunstreaker was either. Probably went and washed himself more times than necessary."

Leon roared in frustration, about to tackle her uncle to the floor except Epps grabbed her again.

Bumblebee shifted nervously, optics going to the still arguing twins to the three humans before him.

"Now that you've calmed down some," Will glared at her as he sidled away, rubbing his arm where she'd gotten a good punch in. "This is Bumblebee, Sam Witwicky's guardian."

"Who to the what now? Wiki? I thought that was a site?"

"Witwicky. College kid who got trapped in this mess cause of his great-grandfather or some shit like that." Epps explained, letting her go.

Bee crouched in front of her, tilting his head.

"_**Please to meet you, little lady!**_"

"Those two idiots over there," Epps pointed to the twins, who paused in their wrestling to look at him and untangle themselves. "Are Mudflap and Skidz. Youngest pair of twins on the base."

"What up, shorty?" The red one stared at her. "I'z Mudflap."

"Girl, you slammin'." Skidz grinned. "We gotta hang!"

"Maybe once I get over the fact you're giant robots." She gave a weak smile.

"Giant? We ain't giant." Mudflap snorted. "We'z tiny compared to Prime. He huge, girl!"

"I have to meet him, don't I?" Leon asked her uncle, who nodded.

"Oi!" The door separating the two hangers jerked open, and the lower part of a robot appeared. "We're in recharge. Shut the frag up or I'll come in there and disassemble you."

Skidz made a face at the legs and waved his hands by his 'ears'.

"That's Ratchet." Epps whispered. "He's their medic."

A face appeared as Ratchet bent down, and he lifted an optic ridge as he saw Leon.

"Who are you?" He snorted.

"Leon. I'm the new mechanic." She muttered, shaking nervously.

"Right. You were fixing those three earlier." He nodded. "Come in here so we can talk better. The others will want to meet you."

She paled as Epps and Will dragged her forward. Her green eyes took in the still cars before they began shifting and she screamed again.

A blanket in the corner shifted upwards, and a smaller robot appeared.

"Holy fu- that shit right there ain't right, folks." The little Autobot sped over to her on his wheels. "How can a goddess like that make a sound like-"

Leon screamed her went to touch her.

"-_that?_"

"They come in little too!" She scrambled backwards into Bee.

"They're not going to hurt you." Will snorted.

"They look menacing enough. I'm going to stay right here with Bumblebee because at least he's adorable."

Bee's wings lifted and his mask slid down in embarrassment.

A large metal hand reached in an snatched her up, making her scream and clutch it for dear life as she was lifted too high in the air for her liking.

"Stop screaming, femme!" The black Autobot thundered. "You'll bust my audio receptors."

"Guys," Will sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Put Leon down. She's scared enough as it is."

Ratchet, who was the one who had picked her up, set her down beside her uncle. Leon darted behind the two human men.

"Relax, little one." A baritone soothed, and a blue and red Autobot moved forward, crouching to look at her. "We are not going to hurt you. My name is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots."

"Umm..." She stared at the hand he offered, reaching to touch his finger in a 'handshake' nervously. "Leon Lennox."

"Nice to meet you." He smiled kindly. "This is Ironhide, my weapons specialist." He gestured to the black one.

"You feeling lucky, punk?" Ironhide asked, grinning.

"No. I feel like I want to run away, hide under my bed, and never come out. Thank you for asking." She replied, sarcasm dripping from her words.

"My medical officer, Ratchet." Optimus pointed to the lime green 'bot. "Mirage, my covert operations master."

The red Ferrari grumbled, looking away.

"Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, the older pair of twins." The gold and silver bots looked down at her with annoyed expressions.

"Sorry...for, um, groping you..." Leon rubbed the back of her head, ducking behind her uncles as Sunstreaker's optics narrowed.

"Jolt isn't here at the moment," Ratchet spoke up, arms crossed over his chassis. "But he's my apprentice."

"Pleasure to, um, meet you. I guess." Leon backed towards the smaller hanger. "I'm going back to bed. Hopefully, I'll sleep this off and everything will be fine in the morning."

Her quick turn made her walk into a wall, and she snarled swears under her breath as she strode out.

"All I wanted was my iPod."


	4. Workin' At The Car Wash

"Dude, you look like fucking hell came and ate you, spat you back out and you got run over by a truck. What happened?" Ellie fixed her friend with her dark eyes.

"Um, bad sleep, I guess." Leon shrugged. "New place and all that."

"Did you get your iPod?" Ellie pulled a shirt over her head.

"Crap. No. I got...lost."

"You got lost." The mocha-skinned female snorted. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Uncle Will and Uncle Rob found me. And I'll have you know," Leon threw the towel in her hand over to the corner where it landed in a damp heap. "They have horrible taste in boxers."

"Really?" Ellie asked, not terribly interested in their uncle's choice of underwear.

"Yes. Hearts and ducks." Leon threw a black wife-beater on over her bikini.

"Why are you wearing your swimsuit?"

"I have to wash the...cars." The brunette shrugged, pulling on her sneakers and waiting for her best friend. The two left their room in silence, walking down the halls to the cafeteria and joining their sleepy uncles at their table.

"Morning." They greeted, stuffing their faces with eggs and bacon. Will muttered something before his head drooped and nearly hit the table.

Soon enough, Leon and Ellie split ways, the mechanic heading for the Autobot hangers and Ellie for the human infirmary.

"Um...Morning?" Leon called to the seemingly non-suspicious vehicles.

"_**Good morning! Good morning! It's great to be awake! Good morning! Good morning, to you!**_" Bee gave a small wave from the smaller side hanger, where he was seated criss-cross-apple-sauce style.

"Good morning, Bee. I can call you that, right?" He nodded, vigorously.

"Oi! Femme!" Ironhide yelled from beside Optimus. "Come here." Leon shuffled over. The door opened of it's own accord, and a stocky man with a considerable amount of muscle stepped out. A large jagged scar ran across his left side of his face, and his eyes were bright blue.

"Uh...who are you?" Leon squeaked.

"I'm Ironhide. Get over my holoform and pay _attention_. I've got a rock stuck in my gears. Get it out will you?"

"Where is it?" She sighed, pulling her still damp chocolate hair back into a ponytail.

"Under there, about a third of the way back." he grumbled before dissolving into thin air.

Leon blinked couple of times, and the Topkick shifted impatiently. The mechanic grabbed the skateboard she had used on Bee yesterday to rid him of rocks, lowered herself onto it and slid beneath him.

It was easy to find the rock as it was a dull brown in his otherwise black underside, but it was wedged pretty far in.

She felt around for her tool box a moment, before reaching inside and grabbing a pair of small pliers from their spot, and attacking the earth stuck inside the weapon specialist.

"Frag it, femme! That hurts!"

"Sorry."

She tugged it again.

"OW!" Ironhide shuddered, rolling forwards slightly.

"I would appreciate it if you would stop moving, _you big baby_!" Leon snapped, having been doing this for twenty minutes now, when it could have been done in ten. "If you stop moving, I can get it out faster."

"_OW_!"

"Stop complaining. You call yourself a weapons specialist." The brunette snorted.

"Girl, you assed out!" Mudflap's voice yelled from across the room.

"Gotta bail!" Skidz joined his brother.

Ironhide growled, screeching metal erupting around her ears as though he was going to transform. Leon grabbed a couple of wires and pulled...hard.

"_FRAG_!" Ironhide snarled, stopping.

"I know ninety-seven ways to take you apart with a screwdriver." She warned before yanking out the rock, and sliding from beneath him. "I'm not afraid to do it either."

Ironhide roared backwards, swerving around Optimus and parking himself in a corner to sulk.

"Damn, shorty," Skidz appeared behind her. "You good."

"That threat applies to you too." She whirled on the red twin. "And I want my iPod back. Now."

Mudflap transformed and she snatched her device from inside before moving to Mirage, who had a pretty nasty dent on his driver's side door and a chunk of paint missing. There weren't many repairs, but the younger -smaller- twins were slightly faded.

"Oi, Bee." Leon strode over to the scout. "Where's the hose, buckets and soap?"

Bee pointed to a cupboard behind him, transforming quickly and chirping.

"You first?" She snickered. "Fine. Since you're really nice." Bee rose on his axles before settling down again.

* * *

When Will found her later, Leon was standing on Optimus' wheel and washing hid hood. The other cars seemed to nearly sparkle around her.

"Wow." Lennox crossed his arms, looking impressed. "Nice job."

"Thank you." Thankfully Optimus had warned her about her uncle coming, so she didn't hurt herself like normal. "Optimus is the last one, then I'm done for the day."

"Ellie could use some toning down." He laughed, passing her the hose to wash the last bit of soap off the Autobot commander. "The lagoon is pretty nice."

"You trust us to go to a _beach_." Leon fixed him with a blank stare.

"Yes."

"Filled with possibly _single_ military men."

"Yes."

"_In bikinis_."

"Yes- Wait!" Lennox cried, eyes widening. "No! Epps and I will come with you!"

"Uh huh. That's what I thought." She snorted, lifting the bucket filled with soapy sponges beside her to put it away.

"Grazie." Mirage revved his engine as she passed and she patted his newly shiny hood.

"No prob." She threw the sponges into the cupboard and followed her uncle out towards the infirmary. Leon could already hear Ellie yelling at someone again. The brunette marched in, slapped a hand over her friends mouth, and started pulling her out.

"I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen and ladies." She snickered. "I'm afraid I'm kidnapping your nurse for the rest of the day."

"Keep her." One particularly pale woman rolled her eyes. "We can sleep now."

Leon nodded, shutting the door behind her with her foot and managing not to fall on her face in the process.

"Ellie," She began, scolding in her tone. "I thought better of you. Now you know why I don't come to your hospital."

The mocha skinned woman pushed Leon's hand off. "Sure. Maybe it's just the fact that -even though you fall up _and_ down the stairs _every_ day- you have insanely good luck with not hurting yourself enough to need a hospital."

"This is why I love this base. I don't actually have to go up or down stairs." The brunette snorted, tugging her friend into their room, and down to the closet and bathroom, only to fall down the stairs.

"Spoke too soon." She growled, glaring at the problem. Ellie chortled as she descended, and helped up her friend.

"Why are we here anyway?"

"Oh. Right. Get your swimsuit." Leon dusted herself off and began looking through the drawer that held her underwear. "We're going to the lagoon with our uncles."

"Um, why?"

"Cause they don't believe it's a good idea for us to go alone."

"No. I meant, why are we going to the lagoon?" Ellie snorted, but pulled out her yellow bikini anyway.

"Oh. No idea. Sounded like fun." She shrugged.

"Riiiight. _Fun_."

* * *

**Grazie- thank you**


	5. Why is the Rum Gone?

Leon peered through her mirrored aviators at the tropical beach and then glanced at Ellie, who had a hand on her hip.

"Welcome to the Lagoon." Epps grunted, shifting the two beach chairs under his arms. Will attempted to peered through the bags in his arms.

"Ooh!" The brunette pulled her friend towards the bar nearby. "Alcoholic beverages."

"One large glass of rum," Leon gave a devilish grin. "And Ellie wants a passion fruit mojito with a frilly umbrella."

"I do not!" Ellie snorted, smacking Leon's arm. "Nothing for me; I'm not a big drinker."

The man behind the counter laughed, handing over a bottle of rum. Leon took a long gulp and grinned, strutting down the sand to the beach chairs their uncles had set up before collapsing next to them on beach towels.

"Will," Leon cooed, dropping into her chair and grinning down at him. "Dearest uncle Will."

"What do you want, Leon?" Will grumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Hold this." She threw the huge shirt she had on over her bikini at him.

"Lennox! Epps! Mind if I kidnap your chicas? Thanks!" Fig waltzed up, wrapped an arm around both their shoulders and led them to the volleyball net that was erected by the water.

Epps half sat up as they left, Leon waving the bottle around in the air, the alcohol obviously having taken affect.

"You remember when they were two?" Will asked suddenly.

"And they made mud pies with the horse shit on your farm at the family reunion you had?"

"Did we ever tell them?"

"No. I don't think so. I have the pictures still."

"Ah, blackmail."

There was a loud cheer as Ellie spiked the ball.

"Boys," Leon glanced over at her uncles with a devious look. "Did anyone ever tell you the story of Will, Epps and the mento bomb?"

"Mento bomb?" Fig turned, eyebrow lifted.

"Yes." Leon nodded, lifting her bottle. "Mento bomb."

"Chica, you look a little flushed." The Spanish man snickered. "Am I right, Anthony?"

The man beside him nodded.

"You could use so cooling off." Anthony's blue eyes flashed with glee, before he hauled Leon over his shoulder and took off for the lagoon.

"No!" Leon screeched, staring at the bottle that fell from her hand. "_MY RUM_!"

* * *

"Never again." The brunette moaned from her spot against the cold glass shower.

"Dude, you say that every time." Ellie sighed, plucking her friend's hair back as she puked in the toilet.

"I'm _never_ going to live this down."

"No." The mocha woman shook her head. "Water?"

"Please. Ellie, did you know that I love you?"

"Yes. Very much. I'm holding your hair while you puke. This is exactly why I don't drink alcohol often."

"Shut up. Don't say the A-word."

"Alcohol."

"_No_."

"Alcohol~!"

Leon gagged, and Ellie laughed while she puked.

"I hate you."

"I thought you loved me."

"I changed my mind."

* * *

"Morning, boys." Leon greeted as she strode into the Autobot hangers. "How are you?"

Ratchet was immediately in her face.

"You have traces of alcoholic beverages in your system." He growled.

"I had a little too much to drink at the beach yesterday." Leon propped her hands on the overalls tied around her waist. "I'm okay now. Really."

"Shorty!" The short twins yelled, grinning from ear to ear. "Shorty!"

"Glad somebody's glad to see me." She turned her green eyes to them.

"We was lookin' through yo iPod," Mudflap began.

"No we wasn't!"

"You designed all dat graffiti shit, right?"

"Yeah." Leon nodded, knowing the designs they were talking about. The mechanic had a way with spray paint, and had done her fair share of graffiting San Francisco.

"Shorty, you gotta hook us up!" Skidz poked her shoulder.

"You want me to repaint you."

"Yeah."

"And I can do whatever I want?"

The boys nodded.

"Alright. I'll order in some paint. I've been planning on repainting Optimus. He looks a little...dull. No offense."

"None taken." The Autobot commander chuckled.

"Anybody else have scratches or dents or something I need to fix?" Leon propped her hands on her hips.

* * *

"Uncle Will!" Leon called, sprinting down the hall to the major. The sandy-haired man turned. "I need shit."

"Well, that bathroom is down the left hall to the right."

"I meant I need you to order stuff. The Autobots need some repainting."

Fig rounded the corner up ahead, and grinned as he approached.

"Oi! Fig." Will waved him over. "Take Leon to the liaison."

"Why me?"

"Because you happened to be around."

"Fine. Come on, chica."


	6. They're Sexy and They Know It

"Oi!" Fig pushed the door before him open and then stepped in. "Luke!"

"Can I help you, Fig?" The caramel skinned male behind the cluttered desk asked, lifting his dark eyes.

"No. Not me. _Chica_!" He pulled Leon in and pushed her towards the desk before leaving.

"Uh, hi." Leon brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I'm Leon, the new-"

"Mechanic. I know. Luke Thorne."

"How did you know?" Leon took his offered hand.

"I'm the liaison. I have to know everyone," He laughed, offering her the chair in front of him. "Well, everyone important."

"I'm not that important." Leon snorted.

"Are you kidding?! You're the Autobot's personal mechanic; that's pretty important!"

"Why?" Luke blinked his dark eyes at her.

"Ratchet is the medic; he's very good at what he does, but the little things he has trouble with. From what I've heard, Ratchet was the Cybertronian -Cybertron is their home planet- equivalent of an emergency room. He's fantastic under pressure, but slow and complicated procedures make him loose his temper."

"So, basically," Leon frowned, her green eyes narrowed in thought. "If Ratchet's the emergency medic, I'm the one wandering the hospital in scrubs waiting for a pager to go off."

"Yes." Luke chuckled, running a hand through his wavy black hair. "However, you'll be under Ratchet's teachings until you know all about the Autobots. You'll be his apprentice for a while, but continued working on scratches, dents and things as they show up."

"Right, about that..."

"Do you need something?" He asked, searching through his papers.

"Actually, yes. I need a bunch of paint."

"Ah!" Luke pulled out the paper he was looking for. "Just fill this out, and I'll get on it. Any thing else you need just write it down."

"Thanks." Leon grinned, exiting the room. Luke propped his head in his hands.

"She's pretty. Especially for a mechanic."

* * *

"Ratchet~!" Leon sang, sauntering into his med bay after dropping off her completed sheet. "Oh great and wise Ratchet! Teach me your ways!"

Ratchet snorted, staring at her.

"I'm to be your apprentice. According to Luke, apparently in human terms, you're the emergency bay doctor and I'm the-"

"Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are coming for a check-up in ten minutes. I'll teach as I go." He grumbled.

"Ellie would like you." Leon grinned, stepping warily onto his hand so he could lift her to the Autobot sized bed. "That's gonna freak me out for a while."

"You will get used to it. Who is Ellie?"

"My best friend. She's a nurse."

"I'll have to meet her. Read these." He placed a data pad beside her.

* * *

Ellie sighed, wrapping a bandage around a man's arm before rising. Her work was done for the day, which meant it was probably dark. She was certainly tired enough for the day to be over.

"Somebody shoot me." She grumbled under her breath, shutting the infirmary door quietly behind her before shuffling down the hall.

There was a faint yell as she passed a door open to the outside. The roar of an engine reached her ears and Ellie lifted an eyebrow at the silver Corvette racing around on the runway.

It skidded to a stop next to her and Leon climbed out looking slightly ruffled and with a huge grin.

"Ellie!" She hugged the mocha girl. "HI!"

"Why are you so cheerful?" Ellie moaned, sinking into her friend's arms.

"Did you not see how fast we were going? That was awesome!"

"We?" Ellie looked confused.

"Oh." Leon gestured to the Stingray Corvette. "Ellie, meet Sideswipe." She patted the hood.

"You're naming the cars."

Leon nodded.

"You need a life." Ellie shook her head.

"I have one."

"Not a very good one."

"It is a good one. I'm perfectly happy naming cars and fixing them, thank you very much."

Ellie snorted.

"Now, it looks like you're going to fall asleep on your feet. Get it."

"What?!"

"Get in the fucking Corvette." Leon started shoving her around the car before opening the passenger side and pushing her in, then zipping around to the other side.

"Let's go." The brunette slammed her foot on the gas and the car tore into the hanger, and began cruising down the hall at a steady one-thirty an hour.

"I'm gonna die!" Ellie screeched, holding on for dear life as the Stingray slid to a stop.

"No, you're not." Leon laughed, bright green eyes sparkling. "Get out and put your pajamas on." Ellie shakily got out of the car and entered their room.

"That was awesome!" The brunette cheered as Sideswipe returned to the med bay. "I think your engine is perfectly fine."

"Glad you think so." He laughed, revving. "Out you get. Your friend will want to know where you are."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sideswipe." She climbed out. "Nice getting to know you a bit."

"Pfft!" Metal ground against metal as he rose to his bipedal form, he rocked back and forth on his wheels. "I'm the nice twin. Sunny's a little..."

"I'm a little what?" The golden bot snorted, crossing his arms.

"Well, you're not really very...friendly?"

"I'm plenty friendly." Sunstreaker bent down to Leon's height. "Hey, Lion, how about you and me go for a drive around the island tomorrow?"

"You're a fucking-"

"Fragging." Sideswipe interrupted. "You wanna be friends with us, you've gotta start talking like a Cybertronian."

"Okay." Leon gave him an odd look. "You're a fragging Lamborghini."

"I know." Sunstreaker gave the girl a smug look. "So?"

"Frag yeah!" Leon pumped her arm. "Now I'm going to bed."

"See, I can be friendly." The gold mech flashed a grin at his brother.

"Sunny-"

"Don't call me that."

"-it's because you're a very expensive sports car."

"The ladies love sports cars."

"That's why we're sexy..." Sideswipe grinned. "I'm pretty sure that's the human term."


	7. Kiss

"So, lemme put that all in a nutshell." Leon paused in tightening Optimus's wheel bolts. "There's a kid, Sam, he buys a car -which turns out to be Bee-, gets dragged into this war because of his great-grandpa's glasses -which have funky shit on them- which will led you to the location of this AllSpark -which is a life-giving cube thing that I don't understand-, he shoves said cubey-thing into Megatron's chest and kills him. Megatron also happens to be your brother and the leader of the Decepticons, who are trying to kill or enslave us. The government sector, Sector Seven -which was holding the AllSpark hostage while Meggies was frozen- dumps Megatron into a trench in the ocean and leaves him there. The Shard -which is all that's left of the Cube- was under the care of the government, in Area Fifty-One, or something like that. Does that sound about right for the first battle?"

"That sounds about right." Ironhide nodded, fiddling with his cannon in the corner.

"Good." Leon nodded. "So, then a little while later, the Shard is stolen. You go to Shanghai, beat a bunch of bad-guy-aft, and then the Decepticon you were chasing is like 'The Fallen will rise again'. Megatron gets revived and goes to his Master, who was once a good guy, then he turned on his bros. Sam -the kid who killed Megatron- starts seeing crazy shit, you tell him to come back,he doesn't want to, you die, he gets Agent Simmons -who was in charge of Sector Seven- to help him after being attacked by Megatron and having his brain prodded by a creepy little spider-doctor-bot-thing. Brings along his friend, Leo. They revive an old jet guy, who teleports them to Egypt, they find a Matrix, revive you after Sam dies, you kill the Fallen guy, Megatron runs away and you haven't seen him since."

"That is accurate." Optimus hummed as Leon tucked her wrench into her back pocket and stepped back. "Thank you."

"So, now what?" Leon stepped onto the hand he offered after he'd rose to his bipedal mode. "You're waiting for Meggies to show his face so you can kick his aft?"

"That about sums it up." Ironhide nodded with a chuckle.

"Great." Leon stepped onto the platform to the side so she could grab a bunch of tools and a data pad. "Now, the paint should be in tomorrow, I'm going to sit with Ratchet and learn slag, and then I'm going for a drive with Sunny. Anybody need anything?"

Ironhide motioned her over.

"Tighten that will you?" He pointed to a small bolt mostly in his cannon. Leon fearlessly shoved most of her body into the cannon and pulled out a small wrench.

"I swear to Primus, if you shoot me out of here," Leon growled as he shifted. "I'm going to haunt you. Or if I'm miraculously still alive, I'll disassemble you while you're in recharge, and frag you up."

Ironhide fell still and Leon climbed out.

"Well,"

Leon whirled, chucking the wrench in her hand at her surprise attacker. Will fell to the ground, clutching his head while Ironhide laughed at him. The silver wrench lay innocently on the ground.

"Ow! What the_ fuck_, Leon?"

"Don't sneak up on me!" She hissed, reaching for another wrench. "In case you didn't notice, I was in a fragging _cannon_."

Will glanced up, blood sliding down his cheek.

"Sorry."

"Primus," Leon sighed. "I'll take you to Ellie before going to Ratchet."

"You're willingly going to Ratchet?" Sideswipe stared at her as he entered the hanger. "What's wrong with you!?"

"Nothing." Leon snorted, crossing her arms.

"Nothing what?" Sunstreaker entered after his twin.

"She's willingly going to Ratchet!" Sideswipe shuddered.

Sunny stared.

Leon rolled her eyes, taking Will's arm and pulling him out of the hanger.

It wasn't long before they were entering the infirmary. Ellie glanced up and lifted a brow.

"What happened?"

"Wrench." Leon laughed, tossing her uncle forward. Ellie snorted.

"What did you do? Sneak up on her?" Will nodded. "Idiot."

* * *

"Throw it."

"Why would I throw the wrench, Ratchet? I mean, I already did...but again!?"

"You threw a wrench."

"Yup. I do it a lot. Hit my uncle in the middle of the forehead."

"Just throw the slagging wrench. Try to hit the target." Ratchet sighed, fiddling with one of his data pads. Leon glanced at the painted target on the wall and then at the wrench in her hand, before hurling it.

The wrench bounced off target, but not before striking the blue around the center.

"Again."

"But this will dent my wrenches!" Leon whined.

"I'll make you a new set out of Cybertronian." Ratchet gave her a pointed look, and Leon threw the wrench again.

* * *

Leon muttered to herself as she strode down the hall, fiddling with a pen as she scanned the list of parts for several malfunctioning military trucks and a helicopter.

So focused was she on her task, Leon didn't noticed Sunstreaker standing in the middle of the hall until she walked into his leg.

"What the frag, mech!?" She yelled, dusting herself off and then looking up. "Oh, it's just you. Your legs really hurt, 'Streaker."

"Then watch where you're going, silly squishy." He snorted.

"Geez, Streaker." Leon sighed, yanking her pants up. "I didn't know you cared."

"Oh, but I do." The golden mech insisted, downsizing to his alt mode. "Very much. Now get in."

Leon nearly jumped into the good car, and it turned sharply before flying down the hall and outside onto the paved road leading around the island.

The drive was smooth, and nothing terribly exciting happened, save for the rush of adrenaline pumping through the mechanic. However, as Sunny approached the section of the island that led into the lagoon, he sped up, aiming for the small ramp placed in the middle of the road.

"Sunstreaker!" Leon suddenly realized what he was going to do. "Don't you dare!"

"Relax." The golden mech snorted. "I know what I'm doing."

"_I know what you're trying to do_!" Leon screamed as the ramp came closer. "_I swear to Primus if I live through this I'm going to murder you_."

"If you live through this will you kiss 'Sides?" Amusement trickled through his voice.

"_Yes! I'll kiss 'Sides, and Ironhide! And I'll even kiss Optimus! Just don't kill me_!" She wailed.

"And Ratchet?" Sunny's wheels dug into the asphalt.

"_Yes!"_ Leon's voice rose as she screamed, pressing herself against Sunstreaker's leather seats and squeezing her eyes shut.

Sunny himself was laughing, and he landed with a hard bounce and skidded as he tried to regain his grip of the road.

"See," He teased, laughter shaking his frame. "That wasn't so bad."

Leon opened an eye, terror reflected in their depths and she didn't release her death grip of his seat.

"I am _never_ going on a drive with you again." She snarled, shaking violently as he sped into the Autobot hanger and opened the door for her.

Leon took one step out and fell to the ground, running her fingers over the beautiful white tiles while Sunstreaker returned to his bipedal form.

He snatched her from the ground and strode over to his twin, who was polishing his blades.

"Oi, Sides." The silver mech glanced up. "Lion's got something for you."

Leon shook her head at the nickname, and wobbled as Sunny thrust his hand into his twin's face.

She rolled her eyes, pressing her hands against Sideswipe's face plates and planting a kiss on his cheek. The silver mech's eye twitched as his brother ran towards the black weapons specialist and set her down before retreating.

Leon glared at him. She was going to keep her unofficial promise, even if it was creating more work for her later.

"Oi! 'Hide, lift me up." She pounded his foot and he lowered a servo. She planted a kiss on his nose when she was close enough. Sparks fizzled out of his nose and his ear. "Take me to Optimus, will you?"

Ironhide nodded slowly, rising and crossing to the hanger beside the one he was in. Optimus was drinking a cube of Energon inside, looking deep in thought as Ironhide lowered her to his cheek.

She planted a kiss on the Autobot commander, who sprayed Energon on the floor in surprise.

Ironhide, who was still in slight shock, took her back to the twins and set her down beside Sideswipe's wheel.

"That went well." She snorted at Sideswipe, picking up the clipboard she had tossed aside earlier and grabbing the pen. "I'm going to find Luke. I'll see you tomorrow. Go...recharge or something." Leon slammed the door shut and began going over her list again.

It wasn't too much later that Leon found herself outside Luke's office. She knocked before poking her head in.

The male lifted his nearly black eyes and smiled, gesturing for her to come in.

"Here. List for you. I need all this slag and soon." She tossed him the clipboard. "I'll see you around."

* * *

Ellie burst through the door to the room she and Leon shared, grinning from ear to ear. She had just run from the infirmary, and running put a smile on her face.

"Leon!" Ellie called, rather loudly as she pranced in, pulling off her yellow scrubs and tossing them to the corner. "Leon!"

The room was silent, and Ellie frowned.

The mocha-skinned woman frowned slightly, tugging her long black hair from it's braid.

"_Leon_! Where the fuck are you?! _Dude_!" Ellie frantically climbed onto the platform where their beds were and bolted to where her friend's was. Ellie let out a relieved sigh.

"Good Lord." She grumbled. "I swear you could sleep through a hurricane. Or worse."

Leon was fast asleep, one of her arms dangling off the side of her bed, legs splayed, covers half off and her shirt pushed all the way up to her neck, which revealed her tattoos.

Ellie poked her friend's shoulder, staring at the cheetah prowling there and then down at the lotus on her lower back, opposite the large cat.

The mechanic had an armband with her zodiac symbol in the center and although Ellie couldn't see them, she had the names of her mother, father, and older adopted brother displayed on her ankle with their birth and death days.

She smiled sadly, turning to her own bed.

_'Stupid tattooes. Now my good mood is ruined.'_


	8. The Prank War

Leon hummed, strolling into the hanger where Optimus was waiting. An open can of blue paint hung from her left hand and a red one from her right.

With her sights set on the Peterbilt, the mechanic crossed the hanger just as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker roared into the bay. Leon lifted an eyebrow, making her past the twins…and tripped.

Paint flew over the gold Lamborghini and the silver Corvette.

Twins wails sounded, and Leon flinched, smashing her head against the floor.

"MY PAINT!" Sunstreaker yelled, transforming and ruining his 'hard work' more.

"I am so sorry, 'Streaker!" Leon groaned. "I'll wash and wax you!"

"Don't touch me!"

Sideswipe grumbled, shooting her a mix between a glare and a sympathetic look before following after his brother.

"**_One step at a time….Singing in the rain….he's blue, da bah dee bah da." _**Bee snickered, earning a glare from the female.

"Thanks Bee, that's such good help." Leon rolled her eyes. Bee fixed her with a serious look and began playing the 'Jaws' theme song. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I believe he's warning you about Sunstreaker's and Sideswipe's habit for pranks." Optimus hummed, laughing lightly.

"I'm so screwed…"

* * *

"Yeah, I'm screwed." Leon sighed, wiping purple goo from her eyes. She focused her gaze on the twins rolling on the floor and then Bee, who looked concerned but didn't want to touch her.

"You look a little purple, Lion." Sunstreaker howled, clutching his middle. Optimus sighed, knowing whatever outcome that was brewing was not going to be good.

Leon fixed the twins under a blank gaze and strode calmly over to Optimus, who offered her a hose. Once she was clean –and soaking wet- Leon glanced around.

"I don't see anything for me to do. I'm going for lunch."

Sideswipe glanced at his brother.

"I expected her to freak out." The gold mech frowned.

"It's odd that she didn't." Optimus hummed.

**_"But they ain't seen, boys, the cruelest thing I do."_**

The twins shared a nervous look.

* * *

"Leon, where are you going?" Ellie asked, looking up from her book.

"Revenge prank." Leon muttered, shutting the door behind her.

"Don't let this get out of hand." Ellie sighed, returning to the novel. Leon snickered, sneaking through the hallways like a ninja and tiptoeing into the kitchen. She pushed several rolls of something into her backpack with the excessive amounts of sticky notes she had found.

"They are so screwed." Leon snickered, darting to the Autobot hanger. The silver Corvette and Lamborghini sat quietly in the corner. Ironhide shifted as she entered, and his holoform appeared leaning against the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over." She grinned, patting his hood. The holoform fixed her with a serious gaze. "Revenge prank."

"Then, I'm leaving you alone." The holoform fizzled out.

Leon grinned, pulling out her weapons of revenge before getting to work.

* * *

"Good morning, boys." Leon smiled pleasantly as she strode into the main hanger. "How are you?"

"I am well." Optimus smiled down at her.

"_**Mama Mia! Master of the house, doling out the...trouble.**_" Bee sighed, staring at the twins in the corner, who were just waking.

"Where's Leon?!" Sideswipe began panicking. "There's something on me! Is it an Earth disease? LION!"

Leon strode over, examining him for a moment, before shrugging.

"I don't see anything wrong with you." She turned towards Bee so she could hide her sly smile.

"But there's something on me!" Sideswipe insisted.

"Well..." The mechanic coughed, not even trying to hide the pathetic attempt for laugh. "There is one disease...coloratus-quadratorum. It's very rare and very contagious. I think the last stage before someone dies is thinking that they're covered in colorful squares. Am I right, Bee?"

"**_Doctor, doctor, gimme the news!_**"

"Dude! I can't move!" The gold Lamborghini shook. "Lion! Help!"

"I don't see anything wrong with you either. You should be able to move just fine." Leon frowned, staring at the car wrapped completely in plastic wrap.  
"Although, patet folliculus operuit sounds like what you have. I'm afraid you can't eat anything for the day and the Autobots will have to spend the day outside. You can't go anywhere near the sun or water...or Energon. That would be bad. Just...don't move."

"Autobots, roll out." Optimus pointed to the concrete pad leading outside and around the corner.

"I'll come check on you later." Leon promised, stepping onto Bee's hand before the yellow bot nearly ran out of the hanger.

Ironhide and Ratchet fixed her with a look once they were out of sight.

"What?" She looked at him innocently.

"Colored squares and clear wrap covered? Those aren't real diseases." The medic snorted, crossing his arms.

"I know that, you know that, Mirage and everyone else knows that...But Sides and 'Streaker don't. Let's see how long they last. In the mean time, try to relax a bit. I'll see you later."

* * *

"Sunny-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Do you think we've been pranked?"

"No this sounds serious." Sunstreaker insisted, going quiet a moment, before roaring. "That glitch! She totally pranked us!"

"I just said that. Can you move?" Sideswipe asked, transforming. The little colorful squares cascaded off him.

"No."

"How about now?" Sides ripped the plastic wrap apart.

"We have got some serious planning to do." Sunstreaker growled.

* * *

Leon, bent over in the engine of one of the military jeeps, suddenly got a very bad feeling. It had been nearly a week since she had pranked the twins, and nothing had happened.

So she was expecting something soon. Very soon.

Unfortunately, she didn't know how soon they were going to do it. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had their plan ready, and had executed it the moment she fell asleep.


	9. Ellie Meets the Bots

Leon yawned, rolling over and falling with a splash into turquoise water. She floundered a moment, before grabbing the inner tube floating beside her.

Narrowing her green eyes, she scowled and took in the horizon before moving to the land to her right.

Unfortunately, the NEST base was on the left side of the island.

"I'm going to turn Sides and Sunny into toaster-ovens." She snarled, pausing a moment to catch her breath. "No; toaster-ovens are too good for them. Just toasters."

* * *

"Has anyone seen Leon?" Will asked. Ellie and Epps shook their heads.

"Maybe she fell asleep while working?" Ellie shrugged, shoveling pancake into her mouth. "She's done it before."

"Let's hope she shows up for dinner." Epps snorted, smearing whip cream on his niece's nose. She shrugged it off after she shoved his face into his egg.

* * *

Leon grumbled to herself, stomping into the base. The military men she passed scurried out of her way, so she must have looked a sight.

Her brown hair was a mess, filled with sand and probably holding several pieces of vegetation. Her face was smudged with dirt, and she had cut her arm on a sharp rock.

Leon growled, kicking the door of the main Autobot hanger in and stepping inside looking positively livid.

"_**Hello, hello!"**_ Bee noticed her first, darting over and lifting her to his face, where he nuzzled.

"Hello, Bee." Leon sighed, slumping in exhaustion. "How are you?"

"_**I missed you." **_

"Missed you too, Bee. Where are the devil twins?"

"_**Just shut up and drive!" **_

"Good." Leon patted his cheek and he placed her down.

"Shorty!" Her vision was invaded by red and green. "Where'd you go, girl?! We was bored."

"Excuse me a moment." Leon pushed through them, beelining for Optimus. "Prime, I need a word."

He offered her a hand and lifted her to his height.

"How much would you care if I turned the devil twins into toasters?" She snarled. Ratchet perked up.

"I'll help!" He grinned, snatching her from Optimus. "I've wanted to do that for ages!"

Leon grinned, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Good. I'll take them apart; you can put them back together. We could sell them even; they'd probably be worth a good amount of cash."

"Who's worth lots of cash?"

"And speak of the devils." Ratchet muttered, utterly unfazed by her kiss. "Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, do you know where Leon is?"

"No." Sideswipe shook his head, complete innocence set on his face.

"That's interesting." Leon spoke up. "Because I'm pretty sure it was you who dumped me in the lagoon on the far side of the island two days ago."

"Oh shit." The twins shared a look before roaring out of the hanger.

* * *

"Ellie!" Leon jumped on her friend, hair slightly damp from the shower she'd just finished.

"Leon! I was worried." Ellie smiled, eyes drawn to the white bandage on her friend's right arm.

"I cut myself on a rock." Leon shrugged at her curious gaze. "I need your help."

"I'm not a therapist, hon." Ellie pulled a pair of jeans from her side of the closet and began changing.

"No, I need your help with a prank. I'm gonna introduce you to my friends once you're done."

Ellie sighed, pulling on a t-shirt before following her friend to the human sized door to the Autobot hanger.

"Just…promise you won't freak out." Leon glanced back at her friend.

"Sure." Ellie stepped through the open door and sucked in a breath.

"Ellie, these are the Autobots."

"You gave them a group name." Ellie snorted. "You really need a life."

"And I've said that I have one." Leon sighed, striding to the lime Hummer and smacking the hood. "Up you get, Ratchet."

Ellie shook her head.

"You really need a therapist."

"I don't." Leon smacked the black Topkick. "Ironhide, don't be a baby."

The truck seemed to tense, and then folded in on itself with a screeching sound of metal on metal.

"BABY!" He roared, glaring at Leon, who looked completely unfazed. "I am not a baby! I am a weapons speacilist!"

The Hummer transformed too, venting and grabbing Ironhide's shoulder.

"She's trying to bug you. Don't blow a gasket." The other cars began shifting then.

"Ellie, meet the Autobots." Leon snickered at her friend's flabbergasted expression. "This is Ratchet." She gestured to the medic. "You guys will be good friends."

Ellie's mouth opened and closed like fish for a moment, and she turned to Leon with a glare.

"_YOU'VE BEEN WORKING WITH SEXY CARS THAT TURN INTO ROBOTS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" _

Leon nodded, sitting on Ratchet's foot.

"I hate you and I love you at the same time." Ellie strode up to the lime medic. "Ellie Epps, nice to meet you."

He offered her a hand, which she shook.

"A pleasure. I am Ratchet, the Autobot's medic. You are a human nurse?" Ellie nodded. Leon turned away as they began discussing something too smart for her.

"That went well."

* * *

"You remember the silver and gold bots in the corner?" Leon asked, seated cross-legged on her bed facing Ellie, who nodded. "Those two are Sunstreaker and Sideswipe; they're the ones at covered me in goo and dropped me on the other side of the island."

"They're the ones you're revenge pranking." Ellie nodded, flicking a piece of black hair from her eyes.

"Exactly, but I need your help."

"Why did they drop you across the island?"

"I covered one in sticky notes and wrapped the other in plastic wrap, and then I convinced them at they had coloratus-quadratorum and patet folliculus operuit."

"I never heard of those."

"They're not real. Coloratus-quadratorum is colored squares and patet folliculus operuit is loosely clear wrap covered."

"What are we doing to get back at them?"

"We're gonna scare them into thinking someone killed me."

"What!?"

"You're a doctor, so I'm gonna have one of the bots help me die while Ironhide is training the twins with Ratchet. One of them is going to run in, grab Ratchet, Ratchet will page you, you'll come running, I'll be lying on the floor in a puddle of fake blood and both of you will annonce that I'm dead and take me to the infirmary. I'm gonna dress like a zombie and walk in."

"That's it? You're not going to do anything dramatic while you're zombie-fied?"

"Of course I am! I'm going to fall on Sunstreaker's hood and slid down it. Because I'll be covered in blood it will smear down his paint, and then I'll do the same to Sideswipe, but on his window."

"Then what?"

"I don't know."

"Then you've gotta do something like," Ellie jumped up. "You've just been pranked!"

"I've got a better idea. I'll leave and then come in the next morning looking perfectly fine."

"Poor twins." Ellie laughed.

"Why were you so cool with the Autobots?"

"Robots are awesome." Ellie shrugged. "I've always believed we weren't alone in the universe, and I was right. Besides, they're the good guys right? They're not going to do anything to harm us."

"That's true." Leon nodded, falling backwards. "Night, Ellie."

"Night, Leon."

The two girls were silent for several minutes.

"Hey Leon? Are you awake?"

"No."

"Have you met the liaison yet?"

"Yeah, Luke's pretty nice."

"He thinks you're pretty."

"I'm a fragging mechanic."

"I was walking down the hall and he was talking to another guy." Ellie kept talking. "He was like '_Have you seen the mechanic yet? She's hot._' And the other guy was like '_No. I'll have to go check her out._' You have a fan club!"

"Good night, Ellie." Leon turned out the light.


	10. Luke's Plan

Ratchet frowned, driving Sunstreaker's head into the concrete below him as his eyes dimmed.

_::Bumblebee to Ratchet::_

_::Ratchet receiving::_

_::Their prank started. I'm on my way::_

"Who was that, Hatchet?" Sideswipe asked, ducking below a shot from Ironhide. A wrench collided with his head.

"It was Bumblebee. He seemed to be in a panic." Ratchet hummed, eyes training on the door as the yellow bot burst in. Bee gestured to the door, tugging on Ratchet's arm. "Ironhide, escort Bumblebee back while I see what the problem is. You two, stay out of trouble."

Ratchet hurried down the halls, entering the rec room and hiding a snicker. Ellie appeared seconds after he did, and gasped.

Leon was splayed in a puddle of blood, wrench beside her head, and the rails above her on the walkway around the room broken.

Ellie felt Leon's pulse and her lip quivered.

"She's gone." The mocha woman sat back on her heels as Ratchet scanned the mechanic. He pulled a sheet from subspace and lowered it over Leon as the twins burst in.

"What's wrong?! What happened?!"

"Leon has offlined." Ratchet informed them, scooping her up and striding out with Ellie in the other hand. The mechanic shifted, sitting upright and yawning.

"I nearly fell asleep there." She muttered as they entered the med bay. "You brought the makeup here earlier, right Ellie?"

"Yes. Do you want some help?"

"Do I _look_ like I can do makeup?" Leon snorted as Ratchet moved to the human door.

"Where is she?!" Will yelled, looking pale.

"I'm here."

"Why did you die, Leon!?" Will wailed, and then froze. "Wait, you're _not_ dead."

"No. Ellie and I are pranking the devil twins."

"Oh. So I panicked for nothing." Lennox grumbled, turning and walking out of the room. "If I could ground you, I would."

_"Muffin_." Leon snorted, and then flinched as Ellie smacked her hand for moving.

* * *

"Do you think it was our fault, Sunny?" Sideswipe asked his brother, parked beside him. "Her…offlining."

"No…The railing broke." Sunstreaker didn't sound too sure.

"But why do I feel guilty?"

"Ugh. Sides, stop it. It wasn't our fault."

A low moan echoed from the door, and the twins fell quiet. Their audio receptors picked up a faint shuffling noise, and both turned their headlights to the door when it opened.

"Who are you? What do you want?! I'll frag you up!" Sides called. A figure appeared, dragging one foot behind her as she moved forward.

"Is that….Lion?"

"Nuhghhghhh…" The acting female groaned, falling against Sunstreaker's hood.

"Watch the paint!" Sunny yelled, shaking to get her off. Except he threw her into Sideswipe's window. Blood on her hands smeared all over the glass, and she bounced off both of them as she headed for the partially open hanger doors. She banged against the metal door, and stumbled out.

The dragging footsteps vanished not long after. Ratchet rolled up quietly behind them.

* * *

Ellie was waiting for her when Leon returned, shower running and pajamas out. They giggled into their pillows well into the night.

When Leon woke the next morning, she grinned, grabbing the clothes she had laid out the night before in her excitement, and pulled on the gloves before throwing her hair into a ponytail.

She nearly skipped down the hall, and entered the main bay with a smile.

"Good morning, everyone!" She called, waving to Bumblebee, who chirped and whistled at her. Her green-eyed gaze fell on the twins and her eyebrows lifted.

"What happened to you?" She chuckled. "You look a little dead."

The twins transformed, poking her several times and then growling.

"But you died."

"Did I?" She asked sweetly. "Oh, you mean the fact I fell from the walkway and was bleeding to death?"

They nodded.

"You got pranked, hon." She patted the golden mech's face and then skipped over to Ironhide and Ratchet.

"She…_pranked us_?"

* * *

Luke's job didn't give him much free time. Being the liaison for both the Autobots and the humans was a lot of work.

But he had an idea, and his ideas were usually _very_ good. Especially when they involved a certain pretty mechanic he'd had his eye on.

Luke wouldn't admit it to anyone, but his dreams, both at night and during the day, usually involved her. However, it would be a little difficult to get her to go on a date with him when her uncle was in charge of the entire human side of NEST, and her best friend's uncle was his second-in-command.

So the solution was simple.

Leon Lennox's days were not very busy; she would wake up late, and depending on how moody Ironhide was, she went back to her room quiet early. Luke worked from before she got up until after she went to sleep.

Not that he was stalking her or anything; it was part of his job to know the hours a person worked. Kind of.

Luke would contact Major Lennox, and ask his permission to have Leon help him. In time, after he had educated her properly, he would resign from being the Autobots' liaison and would give the position to her.

Because what better a person to be a go-between than the one who fixed them all?

Luke knew it was a long term goal, but he had time and so did she.

He was pretty young for a liaison; hired at the age of twenty-five, and he had stayed in the position four years. Luke had no idea why he had taken a sudden liking to Leon when Fig had shoved her into his office.

She was rude. Her forest eyes were bright, and usually filled with some kind of thought. And he could stare into them for hours and get lost, and he_ had_ for a brief moment before she turned away. Her skin was tanned, probably colored that way from the amount of time she spent in the sun. Her chocolate hair was dark, usually messy but he didn't mind. It just added more to her particular look.

Luke hesitated a moment, staring at his computer before pressing the send button. Major Lennox would probably not receive the email until he was done for the day.

However, Luke was surprised when a reply came quiet quickly.

He smirked; the major had agreed.


	11. Kicked Puppy

Leon sighed, entering the liaison office with a frown. Luke glanced up from the computer he was frowning at and his face lit with a smile.

"Come here a moment." He motioned her to the other side of the desk and pointed at the screen.

"Move the three onto the four and then the four onto the five which is on the queen." Leon snickered. Luke grinned moving the cards and minimizing Solitare.

"Thank you for coming." Luke gestures to the chair he had moved over to the other side for her. Leon fell into it, tucking her feet beneath her.

"Not sure why you'd want a mechanic." She snorted, placing her head on her fist. "So what do you want?"

"I was in need of some assistance today." He shuffled through a stack of papers. "I have a deadline for several papers and not nearly enough time to complete them. I needed somebody who wasn't very busy at the moment, and since we're at peace right now, I though you'd work."

"You're making me your gopher, aren't you?" Leon grumbled, heart-shaped face set in a scowl.

"Not at all. I have several things around base that I need to attend to, such as a meeting with Mr. Prime regarding new Autobots and talking with your uncle about supplies. I figured those were easy tasks, so you shouldn't have too much trouble." He handed her a stack of paper work with a charming smile. "I'll see you for dinner, okay?"

"I guess..." Leon strode out the door, tucking the clipboard she had snagged under her arm.

* * *

Luke frowned as Leon shut the door, returning to his game of Solitare.

_'This was part of the plan.'_ he assured himself. _'Gain her trust first. Simple tasks, Luke, simple tasks._'

It was true that he did have several papers and letters to complete, but he'd already sent them off. But his desk was stacked with paper and most of it needed to vanish.

Luke wasn't particularity organized.

* * *

"Yo, Optimus!" Leon smiled as she stepped into his office, complete with an Autobot sized table and desk.

"Leon, I didn't expect to see you here." He lifted her gently to the desk top.

"Well, I didn't expect to be a gopher for the liaison." She grumbled. "So, what's the deal with the new Autobots coming in?"

Optimus vented, shuttering his optics.

"There are three; First Aid, Wheeljack and Prowl. First Aid is a medic, Wheeljack is a scientist and Prowl is my SIC."

"Fun." Leon nodded. "You want me to check on them when the get here? And they need alt forms too, don't they?"

Optimus nodded, handing her a data pad.

"Take that to Thorne. It has the information he wants." The leader chuckled.

* * *

"How was your day, sugarmelon?" Ellie asked her friend, who was curled in her blankets with her multitude of pillows over her head.

"That's new." Leon muttered. "My day sucked."

"Why?"

"I had to spend the day with Luke. Doing smart stuff, which really isn't my thing."

"We all know that, honey." Ellie snickered. "Why did Luke have you?"

"Have me!?" Leon screeched, bolting upright. "Did you think we had _sex_ or something!?"

Ellie was quiet, and then nodded.

"_Hentai!"_ The mechanic threw a pillow at Ellie, who ducked the moment the Japanese word for pervert spewed from her mouth.

"So you did?"

Leon roared, launching herself from her bed at her best friend, who avoided it and watched as she tumbled out the door and into the wall.

The mocha woman darted forward, slamming the door shut and giggling loudly as she locked it. Leon banged on the door.

"Ellie! Let me in!" The mechanic hammered on the metal door.

"I'm sorry what?!" She grabbed a chip bag from the garbage, and crinkled it "You're breaking up!"

"We're not on the phone, you moron!"

"Oh, we're not?" Ellie sauntered to the bed waiting for her, and flopped down. She pulled out her mp3 player, shoved the headphones into her ears and proceeded to ignore her friend.

* * *

Leon glared at the door, feeling her hair for any sort of bobby pin only to come up empty. There would be no way to get into her room without Ellie unlocking it first.

Which meant she had to find somewhere else to sleep, and she wasn't going anywhere near her uncles, because they snored.

So that left the mechanic with Luke's help -which wasn't going to happen, because he was weird- or the Autobots, who were cars and therefore had comfy seats she could sleep on.

So with her desination set, Leon turned for the Autobot's hanger.

She was nearly squished as two of the bots came out of the hanger.

"Lion," Sideswipe scooped her up and lifted her to his optics. "What are you doing up so late? Aren't humans supposed to be recharging?"

"Yes." Leon growled, folding her legs and shifting on his warm hand, while Sunstreaker peered at her over his younger brother's shoulder. "Ellie locked me out."

"What are you doing here?"

"You guys are all techincally cars, so I figure I would sleep in one of you."

"Everyone locks their doors when they go into recharge, and the private berths were finished today." Sunny snorted, pulling his brother down the hall.

"Oh." The mechanic pouted, fixing her gaze on Sideswipe. "Sides..."

"Yes...?"

"You love me right?"

"No. I don't feel this 'love' for you."

"Sides...You're my friend, right...?"

"What do you want?"

"Sides...Can I sleep on your backseat!?"

"No."

"Please?" She fixed him with a kicked puppy look.

"No." He looked away, and then glanced back. "Fine."

"Thank you, Sideswipe! You're the best!"

"He's not!"

"You're the best too, Sunny~!"

"Don't call me that." Sunstreaker muttered half-heartedly as he ducked into a hanger and headed for the bearth on the right wall. Sideswipe headed for the one on the opposite side.

* * *

Ellie frowned, thoughtfully staring at the diagram on the table before her as she munched on a piece of bacon. After she had kicked out Leon -for no reason other than she was bored-, the female had vanished.

"Why are you so glum?" Epps asked, poking her shoulder.

"Leon's vanished again."

"I'm not missing." Leon spoke up from behind the mocha woman, hands filled with a data pad and a large armful of folders. Somehow she managed to keep a plate of hashbrowns balanced on top, but considering it was food, that wasn't surprising. "I'm just busy."

"What is that!?" Lennox mumbled through his eggs.

"The data pad is from Ratchet, the folders are Luke's and the hashbrowns are my breakfast. You got a problem with that?" Leon growled, sucking some of the potatos off the plate before continuing on.

"Maybe I shouldn't have let her go to Luke..." The major muttered, flinching as Ellie pinned him with a look.

"It was you?!"

"Yes." Will squeaked. "He personally requested her. I couldn't say no!"

"Seriously. Have you seen the way he looks at her?" Ellie deadpanned.

"No. Why?"

"It's like he wants to devour her." Ellie grinned, bugging the man she considered an uncle.

"Epps, you still have binoculars right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"We're going to play ninja."

"I'm not playing anything with you."

Will fixed him with a kicked puppy look, one which Leon had helped him perfect. Epps sighed.

"Fine."


	12. Piss-Drunk

Three weeks passed nearly uneventfully. Except, Will's insistance for spying on Luke and Leon while they ate in the cafeteria, and the arrival of Prowl, Wheeljack and First Aid.

Prowl was Optimus's SIC, and it didn't take long for Leon to figure out the police cruiser would offline quite easily.

First Aid was sweet, according to Ellie, who worked with him the most considering she was a medic herself. He was Jolt's superior, having started his apprenticeship under Ratchet while still on Cybertron.

Wheeljack was a scientist. A mad one. But he was a nice mad scientist, and that was the only way to describe him.

And despite Leon's attempts on getting away from Luke, he persisted and was bordering on stalking. But Leon was now handling Autobot alt forms and any attentions from the media.

But nothing terribly entertaining happened within those three weeks.

* * *

"Leon, come here a moment." Luke called the mechanic from her spot in the corner, going over a data pad. She sighed, and grumbling under her breath, stomped over.

"What?"

"I've just gotten a request to attend a series of parties in Europe."

"Great. Why are you telling me?" She crossed her arms, and stepped away slightly.

"Because you are coming with me, of course! I can't go without you!" The dark eyed male smiled pleasantly and Leon shivered, lifting her arms in an X-shape.

"No. I'm not going. And you can't get me anywhere near a plane. Or a dress. I refuse."

"I'm sorry, Leon. You don't have a choice. I've already gotten your uncle's permission."

Leon vanished suddenly, slamming the door behind her.

There were several people in the halls, but they plastered themselves to the walls as Leon strode by, fire in her eyes and a look to kill.

She kicked the training room door in and the soldiers inside trained their guns on her, instinct kicking in.

Her green glare honed in on Will, who was cowering slightly behind Epps.

"You." She snarled. "I'm going to fucking murder you!"

Will squeaked, bolting for the opposite side of the course they were training on, built to look like a city. Leon raced after him, sprinting over the fake rubble.

He dropped beneath a car, and Leon caught his ankle.

"You're sending me to Europe! With Luke! ON A FUCKING PLANE!" She screamed, driving her fist into his nose again and smirked when there was a sickening noise of the bone breaking.

"I'b sowwy." Will muttered, clutching his nose only to receive a punch to the gut. Ironhide snickered, and turned to the newest trainees.

"That is Leon Lennox." He informed them, completely ignoring the sounds of Will's beating. "She is the mechanic for the Autobots, and at the moment, Luke's assistant. Notice how she punches Lennox; who can tell me what he's doing wrong!?"

One of the younger males flinched as Leon kicked her uncle in the no-no zone, and lifted his hand.

"Yeah, you."

"Major Lennox is leaving himself open in several weak spots." He offered, wincing as the major yelped.

"Exactly! Hear that, Will! Listen to the newbies!"

"I'b a bit busy!" he screeched, in the process of scrambling away from his niece, who had somehow managed to get his pants.

* * *

"I hate you." Leon snarled, death glare fixed on the bruised and beatened Will across from her.

"Now, Leon," Luke placed a hand on her knee, and both the Lennox's moved their glares to the offending hand. "Be reasonable. Everything will be alright!"

Leon snarled, lifting her cuffed hands to his face.

"This is alright!?" She yelled, causing the other soldiers to snicker.

"It's for your own safety," Luke smiled reassuringly, moving his hand to the key he had tucked into his shirt pocket. Leon's eyes honed in on the movement, but her eyes went wide as the plane started up.

"Let me off!" She pleaded to her uncle, who looked pained as he shook his head.

"Please. Please don't make me do this. Let me off!" Leon's eyes filled with tears, and she struggled to hold them back.

"Leon, it's going to be alright!"

"I'm going to die, just like he did. Let me off, please!" She wailed, clutching her head, and drawing herself into a small ball the best she could.

"Leon, look at me." Will grabbed both of her hands. "Look at me. You are not going to die. These are the best piolets in the world, and Mirage, Bee, and Hide are in the back. None of them are going to let anything happen to you. Alright?"

"I still hate planes." Leon muttered, shivering as the engines began roaring. "Bolin died on a plane...coming to my birthday."

"I know, hun. I know." Luke looked at Will with confusion as he handed Leon a bottle of water and a pill from his pocket. Leon passed out quite quickly after she swallowed the pill.

"Bolin?" Epps poked Will, having returned from the cockpit in time to hear the last bit of the conversation.

"Bolin was her brother." Major Lennox sighed. "My sister-in-law, Maria, was pretty much barren, so she and John adopted a little Chinese boy when they were twenty."

"They were together pretty long, weren't they?" Robert hummed, leaning on his thighs.

"High school sweethearts. Bolin was their boy, and he was such a rascal. Out of the blue, Maria conceived."

"Leon."

"Exactly. Bolin was ten years older than her, and he loved her like she was the most precious thing in the world, which she was. She was a spitfire even when she was little. When Leon turned six, John and Maria died in action. Both were in the army, but John was a tank mechanic and Maria was a Captain. Bolin returned from college to take care of her. She was fourteen when he left for China to finish his schooling."

"I popped in from time to time to make sure she was alright, but she really missed Bolin. So, for her graduation present, I arranged for him to come back. She was so excited. And he left the day after her eighteenth birthday. Unfortunatly, the plane malfunctioned and crash. Bolin died, and so did everyone on the plane. By then she had taken over her father's autoshop, and was living with Ellie. Leon just started her college then. She's hated planes ever since."

"Poor kiddo." He winced as Leon's leg snapped out, colliding with his shin. "Never mind, forget I said anything. Did you give her Ratchet's pill?"

"Why do you think she's sleeping, dummy?" Will snorted, lounging comfortably in his seat.

"Oh. Right, I knew that. Ellie's not too happy about being left behind."

"She and Leon haven't been separated for a long time." Will shrugged, eyeing Luke as he went through his files.

"I know. I told her to focus on her studies. And keep the twins in line the best she could. Leon would have a fit if she knew they screwed themselves up again."

"No kidding."

* * *

"Your room, ma'am." The elegant bellhop placed her not-so-elegant duffal bag beside the door and smiled. "Please enjoy your stay. Maggiore Lennox and Capitano Epps are across the hall."

"Thanks." She muttered, handing him a tip and shutting the door. The hotel room was large, and could probably sleep ten people. A grin appeared on Leon's face as she noticed the alcohol fridge, and she darted for it.

No better way to get rid of jet lag then get herself piss drunk.


	13. Hero

Ellie hated being left behind while her uncles and best friend went on a trip to Europe. And to make matters worse, they had taken Bee and Mirage with them and there was no way she was hanging out with the Twins.

Which left her on her own, wandering down the hall in a smoldering rage that seemed to project off of her so much everybody steered clear of her, either by turning and fleeing or plastering themselves to the walls.

In some sort of sick twisted way, the mocha woman hoped Leon would maul Will and Robert. Ellie didn't blame Leon.

No, not at all.

She had seen Will and Epps dragging her off in a pair of handcuffs. The brunette had managed to make a break for it, but Epps had managed to grab her at the last second and sling Leon over his shoulder. Leon had taken her teeth, and years of practice, to start gnawing at his shoulder. By the time they had vanished around the corner, Ellie though she could see faint amounts of blood soaking her uncle's tab shirt.

But the trio, plus Luke and the Autobots, were long gone and she was left to mope on her bed for several hours until the phone rang.

"Hello!?"

"Ellie? _Hiya_!" Ellie facepalmed. Her friend was piss drunk. "OhmyPrimus! The hotel is fucking awesome! The bath tub is like, a swimming pool! Just for me!"

"Leon,"

"Will's nursing a broken nose again. And someone left me a pair of funky handcuffs! Kinky right! I can't believe they're gonna make me wear a dress!"

"Leon,"

"Oh! Hey, did you ever notice how good-looking Sunny and Sides are?" The mechanic was quiet a moment.

"What are you, carsexual and drunk!?" Ellie shook her head.

"That matter is to be debated," She could almost sense Leon grinning through the phone. "But, the alcoholic beverages here are very very good! I have my pinky up, you know. Manners and all that shit."

"Leon, when you're drunk, you don't have manners."

"Hey! I do so! I have more manners than the couple having sex in the pool and the guys in black with cameras taking pictures of them from the bushes."

"Oh god." Ellie moaned. "Where the hell are you?!"

"Sicily, Italy." The mechanic chirped, clattering coming from her end of the line. "Guess what I found!? Rum! And vodka!"

"I wouldn't want to be you in the morning." Ellie muttered.

"I have the cure for hangovers too! You sleep in the bathroom and drink more alcohol! Nothing better to fight it off!"

"You'd know. Why are you this intoxicated anyway?"

"Jet lag!"

"Normal people sleep when they have jet lag."

"We've already proven I'm anything but normal. Hang on."

Muttering came from the other side and then Leon returned.

"Sorry, Luke wanted a chat about tomorrow's party wear."

"Leon, please tell me you weren't in your underwear."

"Okay. But then I'd be lying. I'm not in my-"

"Leon, you just showed the NEST liaison your underwear and bra!"

"So? He seemed to like them. They're the lacy black pair you got me for my nineteenth birthday."

"Of course he liked them, you nitwit! He's a male!" Ellie yelled. Silence came from the other end.

"Leon?"

"_Leon_?"

"_LEON_!?"

Ellie snapped her phone shut.

"She passed out on me. Bitch."

* * *

Leon clutched her head, hands blindly searching through the bag of toiletries she had put in the bathroom before exploring interesting combinations of alcoholic beverages. She made a triumphant noise, popping the Aspirin lid and swallowed one dry, gagging slightly as she did.

Leon pressed her forehead to the cool floor of the bathroom, sighing in relief until someone began hammering on the door.

She snarled, one hand clutching her head in pain and the other pushing her up so her feet could carry her to the door.

"What?" She scowled at her uncle, who stood with an obnoxiously bright smile plastered on his annoying face, which was only marred by the swelling in his nose, and that made her slightly satisfied.

"Leon-"

"Whisper or I swear to Primus you're never having kids again."

Will paled, hand twitching as he lowered his volume.

"Leon, we're going shopping for your dresses later." He breathed, sliding towards the safety of his own room.

"Ugh, dresses." The mechanic spat, eyes narrowed both from pain and dislike of the cursed clothing. "I'm going to get rid of this hangover."

* * *

Leon glared at everything that moved, and her eyes were very nearly shut even behind the mirrored glasses on her face.

Bee made a worried noise through his radio and she patted his dash.

"It'll go away, Bee. Don't worry about me. Do you guys have something that makes you drunk?"

"High grade Energon."

"Huh. Have you ever gotten drunk, Bee?"

"Whaddya take me for, little lass?" The yellow bot sounded offended. "A wee lad? Nay, I drink it by the gallon."

"And then he promptly tips over, offlined." Ironhide snorted over the comm open to the three.

"Hey!"

"And you, Ironhide?"

"Don't ask Ironhide about drinking. Nothing ends well of you do." Will warned through Mirage's end.

"Hide, we're going to see who's the better drinker when we get back to NEST."

"You're going down, femme."

"We're here." Mirage stated, pulling to a stop in front of a small strip mall.

"No! Don't make me do it!" Leon wailed.

* * *

It was nearly three hours later when Luke, Epps and Will managed to haul their asses out of the dress shop after purchasing a bright blue, sleeveless, thigh-length dress with the breast area decorated in silver rhinestones and sequins. Leon was out of the shop within seconds of their purchase of the _'monstrosity'_ and its matching shoes.

She was seated in Bee, complaining when the men strode out, and Leon cast a savage glare at the three before promptly ignoring them.

"Well," Will clapped his hands as he tossed the dress into Ironhide's backseat and then got in Mirage. "She's pissed. Epps, my dear best friend, it's your turn to have your nose broken."

"Why me!?" The black man protested from Ironhide's driver's seat.

"Because if she punches me again, my nose will always be crooked."

"Dude, you're on your own." Epps snorted.

* * *

"I'm not coming out." The mechanic protested, leaning against the door in her monstrosity. The door was locked and she was leaning against it for added safety.

"Leon Lennox, so help me Primus," Will growled. "If you do not come out, we are coming in."

"I'm not moving."

"Leon,"

"No. I'm hideous." She hissed. "I want my cargo pants and high-tops back."

Unfortunately, Will had been smart enough to phone ahead to the hotel and ask them to remove all the clothing from Leon's room except her underwear.

"Leon, please come out. We don't want to be late." Luke tried to reason, hair combed back and straighten his tie. Will ran a hand through his hair.

"I want to be late. Actually, I don't want to go!"

"Chika,"

"Who the hell are you!?"

Will tensed, reaching for the gun on his hip.

"Mirage."

"What the hell!? Don't do that!"

"Chika, I do not see what you are complaining about."

"Humph. You just want to go show off your alt mode."

"And the blue of your dress goes rather well with my paint, does it not?"

"I guess. It goes better with 'Hide."

"You wound me, Lion."

"What is with everyone calling me that, anyway?"

"Ah, if I tell you, will you go outside to your uncle and the liaison. It's supposed to be a big secret. I'm risking my aft for you."

"...Fine."

Will gaped, opening and closing his mouth several times before the door opened and a faintly amused, but still pissed Leon appeared as Mirage's holoform vanished into sparks.

"Let's fucking get this over with." Leon growled, slamming shut her door.

* * *

Ellie was rather startled when her phone buzzed. So startled, in fact, that she fell off the chair she was sitting on while having a rather nice nap in the Med-bay while she was supposed to be working.

The phone buzzed again and she picked it up hesitantly, holding it carefully as though it would bite her. She glared at it a moment, before seeing who the heck was contacting her.

It was Epps; he had sent a message and a picture.

Ellie frowned, flicking open the message.

'_Leon's in a dress. She looks pretty. I took it ninja style! But don't tell her I told you!'_

And then she flipped to the picture. Ellie blinked.

Leon looked rather cocky in the picture, obviously having told an amusing joke to one of the men around her and her eyes were on Epps, who had taken the picture with the skill of a ninja.

Her long legs, which were usually covered by baggy cargo pants stained with grease and other stuff, were exposed up to the edge of the skirt portion of her bright blue dress. It was slightly poofy and the bodice sparkled. Her feet, which were either bare or in sneakers, had high heels, actual heels, in a very nice silver.

Leon's long chocolate hair was pulled into a bun, and she had little earrings on, which were shaped like the Autobot symbol.

Ellie snickered, and on a whim, scrolled through her contacts and forwarded it to Prowl, Blurr, the Twins, and the Tiny Twins.

It wasn't long until she heard the sound of Prowl collapsing in the next room over; he had sprained one of his doorwings while training earlier and was in the Med-bay for that reason.

Ellie quickly received another text, from the last person she expected, although the mocha skinned woman should have seen it coming.

'_Care to tell me why Prime's Second-in-Command just glitched?' _

She sent the picture to Ratchet, and then returned to her work.

* * *

Leon had enjoyed herself up until the point she remembered she was wearing a dress, and that Luke was holding her waist, almost possessively.

She dragged his arm off, fixed him with a 'touch-me-again-and-I'll-murder-you' glare, and stomped over to her uncle who was having a conversation about the Autobots with a liaison from England and Ireland.

"Just the girl I needed." Will held out his arm. "Gentlemen, this is my niece, Leon Lennox."

"A pleasure." The British one nodded his head. "Your uncle was attempting to explain how the Autobots pulled out their weapons."

"Aye! He wasn't doin' a good job 'hough!" The Irish man laughed, patting his large stomach as he munched on a finger sandwich.

"Well, then." Leon cuffed her uncle over the head. "You're horrible at explaining things. The Autobots use what's called sub-space."

"Sub-space?"

"Yes. It's kind of like a little dimension they can reach. The put their weapons into it, and can pulled them out at will."

"Ya see, Willi'm!" The Irish man chuckled. "She explain'd what ya could not in 'bout ten seconds."

"Show off." The Major shook his head.

"I told you you're horrible at explaining things. Especially when it comes to mechanical things." The brunette crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Stick to your drills and your guns."

"Yes, ma'am."

"May I ask, William, about what happened to your nose?" The British liaison asked, cocking and eyebrow as he sipped a champagne.

"Well..."

"I punched him in the face because he made me go on a plane. "

"You 'ave quite an arm, lass."

"Thank you."

"Do you not like planes?"

"I hate them. My brother died on a plane."

"That's tragic. My condolences."

"Uh...Thanks."

Will checked his watched, grabbed Epps to stop him making a fool of himself, and announced that the two military men and his niece would be leaving. Luke was staying, but he was obviously bored out of his skull, though he tried not to show it.

"My hero." Leon grinned as they exited to Mirage, who was waiting with Bee.

"I know!"

"Not you. Bumblebee. It means I don't have to ride with you in Mirage and suffer through Epps. No offence, Mirage."

"Non taken."

Epps began to speak, and Leon vaguely made out booze and vomit through his slurring before he sprinted to the bushes to do just that.


	14. They Hate to Apologize

Leon suddenly found herself on the ground after a horribly turbulent plane right, where she screamed her head off, and because Will had forgotten to handcuff her, all three of the men sported rather larges bruises, and she had -_purposely_- kicked Luke in the balls.

However that was not the issue at the moment.

The issue was the Leon was on the ground.

With Ellie ranting at her while she straddled her mechanic friend.

"Ellie,"

"-Because Goddammit, it was fucking annoying with-"

"Ellie,"

"-worried! Wheeljack blew up-"

"_Ellie_,"

"-Brig! The BRIG! Fuck his metal fucking dick-"

"_Ellie_."

"-broke his cannons! He blamed _me_ when it was _obviously_-"

"_ELLIE!_"

The mocha woman blinked gazing down at her friend.

"As comfortable as the ground is, and as much as I love hearing about your _adventures_...Get the frag up and let me find something to drink." Leon rasped, pushing her friend's shoulder. Ellie helped the mechanic up.

"I missed you." The nurse muttered under her breath.

"No shit, Sherlock. You're the best fragging detective in the whole slagging world!" Leon threw her hands up, and shook her head, glaring at her uncle.

"What happened?" Ellie asked, pulling her friend into the rec room, which was pretty far down the hall.

"Planes happened. And Luke. Luke happened." Leon snarled, punching the metal wall and then shaking her fist with a glare.

"You need a nap."

"I do not need a fragging nap!"

"Leon-"

"Don't Leon me."

"Well, it is your name." Ellie pointed out with a grin, noticing the wheeled bot rolling up behind her friend.

"I'm not having a nap." Leon grumbled, crossing her arms and sulking.

Sideswipe suddenly scooped her up and a sharp scream flew past Leon's lips while Ellie howled with laughter on the floor.

"Hiya, Lion!"

"Hi, Sides."

"Watcha being sulky for? You look like a grumpy sparkling!"

"And you sound too cheerful."

"Ellie," Sideswipe glanced down at the woman, who was grinning. "I regret to inform you that Leon has been kidnapped."

"But she's in your hand."

"I just kidnapped her." Sides informed as he rolled out the doors.

"Sideswipe, you crazy mech! Put me down right now!" Leon yelled as he headed to the berthroom he and his brother shared.

"Right now?" The silver mech gave her a serious look.

"Right. Now." And she stomped her foot for emphasis.

"Your funeral." Sideswipe tipped his hand to the side and Leon saw how high she was, grabbing onto the young bot's thumb.

"I changed my mind. Kidnap me."

"I was doing that anyway." Sides snickered.

* * *

Leon sighed, staring at the Tiny Twins with her arms crossed and a not-amused expression.

"And then he was all like 'You scrap heaps get fixed by an insect. A femme insect! Can it even be called that? We've heard of how the insects like to spread their legs.'" Skidz looked anywhere but at the mechanic, poking his fingers together.

"And then we attacked him."

"You were mad." Leon lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah..." Mudflap nodded.

"Because some stupid Decepticon insulted me."

"And then we's protected you's honor."

"So, you didn't want to go to Ratchet, why? Other than that he's scary as frag."

"Cause, we wasn't supposed to be off base."

"So, not only did you break the rules, you got caught by a 'Con, got the shit beaten out of you, and don't have the decency to go to Ratchet."

The Tiny Twins nodded, looking unhappy.

"Get out of my...hanger," Leon pointed to the door. "Until you have reported to Prime, and apologized to everybot. Then, you can come back, and maybe, if you're _lucky_, I'll patch you up."

She glared. Skidz and Mudflap nodded, slinking out of the hallway looking upset.

"What happened to them?" Jolt appeared through the door. Leon glanced over and motioned him forward.

"They left base without telling anyone, got the slag beaten out of them while 'defending my honor'." She explained, patching up his ankle, which had several dented chucks of armor and a few pinching wires.

"So you told them off like a Creator or a Guardian would?" Jolt blinked his large optics at her.

"A who to the what now?"

"A Creator is what you would call a parent." Jolt explained, watching as she worked. "A Guardian is...a protector when the Creators are dead or gone to war."

"Is what I did a bad thing?"

"Actually no." Both the human mechanic and the MIT jumped, staring at Ratchet who had appeared in the doorway without them noticing.

"That particular pair of Twins," Ratchet hummed, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Are more trouble than they're worth. Their Creators died early in their sparkling years, and they didn't get a Guardian. In a vague human age span, Skidz and Mudflap would be in their preteens."

"Ah. That explains things. So, I'm not in trouble for telling them off, right?"

"No. They seem to look upon you as an older silbling-femme, which is good, because if we know we can threaten to tell them on you. So long as you're willing to take care of them."

"Well, it's hella sudden. But I suppose."

Ratchet's optics dimmed a moment and then came back.

"Prowl offlined again. I will see you later, Jolt. Leon."

"Bye, Ratch." Leon waved.

* * *

Prowl, the ever-logic logical logic using Second-in-Command, twitched as Skidz and Mudflap entered his office and he nearly sent a pile of datapads off his desk.

"Prowl, can we speak with ya?"

"What do you want, Tiny Twins?" Prowl growled, quite satisfied when they flinched at his tone.

"We...ah...We wanted..." Mudflap trailed off.

"We's sorry fo leavin' the base, Prowl, sir." Skidz whimpered, holding his brother's hand.

Prowl blinked.

'_The Tiny Twins...apologizing? That's not logical. The Tiny Twins don't ever apologize. Maybe it was Ironhide who...No, Ironhide did not make them apologize before. THIS IS UNLOGICAL!'_

_'Processor cannot compute. Processor cannot compute. Shutting down...3...2...1.'  
_

Prowl glitched.

* * *

Optimus Prime was having an uneventful day. His desk was piled with data-pads he needed to go over, and nobot had come to interrupt him.

Prime almost wanted a disturbance.

And he got once in the form of a knock on the door.

"You may enter."

"Op Prime, sir?" It was the Tiny Twins.

"Can I help you, Skidz, Mudflap?"

"We left base withou' permission...and we got beat by a 'Con cause we was defendin' her honor. We's sorry!"

Prime blinked. And blinked again.

And stared. And stared some more.

"What?"

"Please don't be mad! We's was just so bored here, and everybot was busy..."

"So, you'd thought you'd leave."

"Yes, sir. We're sorry."

"You have other bots you need to apologize to. I will not put you in the brig, but this is your only warning. _Do not go off base without an older bot_."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"If you think you can take down a 'Con alone, you're stupider than I thought." Ironhide growled as the Tiny Twins appeared behind him.

"We'd be okay if you needed ta hit us." Skidz bowed his head.

"What we did was wrong." Mudflap nodded.

"We won't do it again. We're sorry, Ironhide. Please forgive us."

Ironhide blinked, and lifted an optic ridge.

"Get out. Don't be late for your training ever again, or I'll turn you over to Prowl and he'll whip you into doing paperwork as good as he can."

The Tiny Twins nodded, scurrying out of the training room.

Hide tracked their movements down the hall before he began to laugh.

* * *

"We're sorry, Lion."

"Bout time you got here. I've been waiting to patch you up for ages."

"You mean-"

"Course I'm gonna fix you. It would mess up the graffiti I'm gonna do on you eventually if you had dents and scratches."

"We won't do it again. We promise."

"You'd better keep your promise," Leon gave a feral grin. "Or I'll be the one denting you next time."

"Yes, Leon."


	15. Beach-nic

**So, hi...Um, it's way past due that I say this...I don't own Transformers. But I want to find out where they're auditioning for the Fourth Movie. Also, this is possibly the first time I've ever hated an Original Character I've made in my entire life. Ever.**

**Oh, god things I have planned...  
**

* * *

Luke's dark eyes roamed the area, trying to find a familiar head of hair in the non-Bot hanger. There were several men in khaki wandering around, and some glanced his way before two approached.

"Thorne-san," The obviously Japanese man smiled, hands tucked behind his back. "Can we help you?"

"I'm looking for Leon. Have you seen her?" The two men in khaki shared amused looks and then strode over to a jeep with close to no engine, and a woman bent over into the hood.

"Leon," The Japanese man knocked on the side of the vehicle, crouching as he did. Leon jumped, smacking her head on something. The brunette mechanic emerged covered in grease and other various bits of filth. "Thorne-san is here to see you."

"Oh. Whaddya want?" She turned to the liaison.

"The weather was nice today, so I was hoping you could join me for lunch on the beach." He smiled, and the Japanese man whistled, but nearly got a wrench to the face.

"I guess. Now?"

"In several minutes. I'll give you some time to clean up." He gestured to her overalls and wife-beater. "I'll wait for you outside the Autobot hanger."

"Right." Leon nodded, running a hand through her messy hair before turning for the door. The sound of an engine made everyone turn, but they weren't surprised to see Bumblebee, as he was rather friendly. Leon jumped into his driver's seat, and the two vanished.

"Anthony," The Japanese man leaned over to his friend. "You have your cell-phone?"

"Yeah. Why?" The American asked his friend, pulling it out and showing it to him.

"I'm borrowing it."

* * *

Epps was enjoying a nice triple-decker sandwich when his phone buzzed. The African-American sighed, using one hand and his mouth to hold the sandwich together while operating the phone with the other.

_'Warning: Enemy (L) has made his move. Operation: Beach-nic._' It took the man a moment to figure out what the hell was going on. But the answer came to him in the form of William Lennox and a door that was nearly blown off the hinges.

"Luke is taking Leon down to the beach for lunch! Let's go!" Epps stood slowly, gazing at his sandwich longingly before grabbing the bag by his feet. "Ninja time."

"Ninja time?" Both human men froze, turning their gaze to the Tiny Twins, who stood in the doorway, ducking to listen.

"Yeah...Luke is taking Leon to the beach...for a romantic picnic." Lennox gazed at them. The Tiny Twins grinned.

"We're good at blendin' in like ninjas. We did it in Egypt, yo! We'll help ya!"

"You'll be seen though." Epps pointed out.

"Naw man. We'll be _blendin'_ in like ninjas. Ain't _nobody_ see ninjas!" Skidz shook his head.

"How do we know about ninjas then?"

Mudflap opened his mouth to reply, and then shut it again.

"No, none of us will be seen. We have the greatest ninja." Ellie appeared, Mirage behind her. He sighed.

"What they do is their own business, si? Can we not just leave them alone, per favore?" The red bot asked, pleading in his optics.

"No!" Lennox yelled, grabbing a pair of binoculars.

* * *

Leon literally fell over onto the blanket the second Luke had laid it out; he had insisted he do it himself, so she just stood by.

"Ugh. I'm tired."

"Are you getting enough sleep?" The liaison asked, frowning as he moved the basket he'd brought to the spot beside her.

"I'll survive. It's not like it matters."

"Leon," Luke placed a hand on hers. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Eh. Just a nightmare. It's nothing anyone can fix." Leon pulled her hand away and ran it through her loose hair.

Ellie shuffled to Epps.

"It's your fault she's having nightmares. You put her on a plane."

The two military men with fake bush on their heads exchanged looks...guilty looks.

"Look, stop bugging me about it. I came out here to have lunch with a _friend_," Leon stressed the word friend. "And nothing's gonna stop me."

"CANNON BALL!"

"What are they doing!?" Will hissed to the Epps' as the Tiny Twins leapt into the lagoon off a nearby outcropping of rock.

Leon shrieked as the picnic was drenched, and then at the sight of the Tiny Twins, who were covered in water and Skidz had a fish sticking out of his helm.

"Get it out!" The green twin yelled, flailing his arms.

"Skidz, calm down." Leon chuckled, making him still. "Bend down, and I'll get it out for you."

Luke scowled as she removed the fish, water dripping from the end of his hair.

"Come sit with us." The mechanic motioned the two bots over.

**::Skidzflap to BushBeaters::**

The Bluetooth in the human's ears crackled to life.

::**We've gained their trust::**

**::Yo! Why's it Skidzflap!? It should be Mudz!::**

**"Because Skidzflap sounds cooler." **Ellie hissed. **"Now, shut up."**

"Leon, I was hoping I could spend some time with you," Luke announced, eyes narrowed at the Tiny Twins.

"You are."

"...alone."

"As in, a date? Look, I like you, Luke, kind of." Leon pinched the bridge of her nose like she'd seen Optimus do. "But only as a _friend_."

"Just a friend...?"

"A friend and a coworker."

"Oh."

"Leon," Skidz poked the mechanic's shoulder. "Hatchet wants ya in the Med-Bay. 'pparently, Sunshine got hurt in training."

"'Streaker?"

"Si," Mirage appeared on the road. "I over-heard. I am faster, so I will take you there."

"Grazie, Mirage." Leon jumped into his interior and peeled off.

Epps and Lennox appeared from the bushes, and Ellie shook her head.

"Hello, Thorne."

"Major Lennox." Luke flushed slightly, and "Sergent Epps."

"What are you intentions with my niece?!" Will narrowed his eyes, and cracked his fingers.

"She has made her intentions very clear. Miss Lennox sees me as nothing more than a friend and co-worker. If you'll excuse me, I have to go dry off and I have some paperwork I really must get done." A dark look flashed across the liaison's face as he began squishing (he was too wet to stomp) away.

* * *

"What happened to Sunstreaker?" Leon asked, stepping off Mirage's hand and onto the berth the gold mech was laid out, sedated. "And where is Sides? I thought he'd be in here pacing or something."

"Sideswipe is outside. I refuse to have pacing in my Med-Bay. And no matter how many times I tell them-"

"Your Med-Bay, your rules. I've been around long enough to know that. Now what happened?"

"He busted some of his protoform."

"And you can't fix this, why?"

"Sunstreaker and Sideswipe used to be Cybertronian gladiators. Their armor clasps, which should be medic-accessible, are really quite small. And as you can see," Ratchet lifted his servos.

"Too big. So what needs to come off?"

"All of it."

"But that would make Sunny...you know," Leon leaned forward as though she had a secret. "_Naked_."

"So?"

"He's not wearing anything under the armor right?"

"Cybertronians do not have anything close to human reproductive parts. Just take them off."

"Yes, Ratchet." Leon reached under the armor on Sunstreaker's arm and pressed the button, jumping out-of-the-way as it clattered to the ground and Ratchet moved it out the way. The mechanic slid her hand down the small gap between Sunstreaker's shoulder armor and his arm, finding the tiny button with ease.

The armor on his shoulder snapped of and Ratchet set it onto another berth.

This continued until Sideswipe returned.

"Gah! What are you doing!?" The silver mech panicked as Leon stepped out-of-the-way for Sunstreaker's thigh armor.

"Trying to fix your brother." Ratchet snorted.

"Do you know how long it will take for you to put that all back on!? What if he wakes up!? This is bad. This is very, very bad!" Sideswipe began pacing, until two wrenches hit his helm seemingly out of no where.

"So, you're tag teaming now?" Sides grumbled, poking a piece of armor until he grew bored.

"Sides, why don't I give you something to do. Like polish your brother's armor? I'll come help you when I'm done." Leon glared up at him, perched carefully on Sunstreaker's chassis, and working quickly to dismantle his armor there.

Ratchet nodded, holding out his hand so Leon could step on and he could move her to help the worried twin.

* * *

Sunstreaker woke to a quiet Med-Bay, and a slight draft over his chassis. The mech blinked, scans running through his processor only to be interrupted by a small grunt.

His head whipped over to the berth next to him, where Sideswipe had passed out next to a small pile of armor which Leon was polishing, very, very carefully.

"Lion, what are you doing?"

"Very very carefully polishing your chassis armor." Leon yawned, rubbing her eye with the back of her arm and going back to polishing.

"Why is my armor off in the first place?" He growled.

"Your protoform got damaged in training, and Ratchet's fingers were too big to take off your armor. And I suppose I should say thank you. You saved me from a very awkward almost-date with Thorne."

"Don't touch my armor unless you have to." Sunny warned, growling as he reached to the left part of his armor, fastening it on with ease. Leon stepped out-of-the-way when he reached for the one she was polishing.

Yawning, the mechanic leaned against Side's warm chassis, leaning her head back and shutting her eyes. It was a lot harder to polish Sunstreaker's armor than she had thought.

By the time Sunstreaker turned around again, Leon had tipped to the side, and was deep in recharge.

"Geez." The gold mech snorted, flopping back on his own berth.

* * *

Leon was late as she walked into Luke's office where she was supposed to work this morning. There was a stack of papers on the chair she had claimed, and Luke was very intensely looking through several sheets of paper.

The brunette sighed, seating herself before reading through several extremely boring documents.

"Leon," Luke glanced up from his work, dark eyes hard. "Answer the phone."

"Sure." Leon nodded, grabbing the phone off the desk. "Hello, NEST Base, liaison's Office, Leon speaking. Can I help you?"

"Of course. I'll come get it now, Mirage." The brunette placed the phone down and turned to Luke who was gesturing out the door.

The mechanic was back within ten minutes and passed him a paper.

"Four new Autobots?"

"Yeah."

"Paperwork is yours." Luke waved her away. "You need to order them alt-modes, and find them rooms."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"I don't know what it is." Leon turned to Ellie, who was sitting beside her on the couch in their room, eating chocolate ice cream. "Luke's been really weird. I don't know if I trust him any more."

"Well, you said you didn't like him the way he likes you. He's probably just mad about that. It'll blow over!" Ellie smiled, and pressed the play button on the remote.

An action movie started up, and the two girls ended if falling asleep in a pile of candy and best friend.


	16. Blood

Leon hummed, browsing through the car catalogue in her hand until she marked down the car she wanted on the piece of paper and grinned.

"Lion," A holoform suddenly appeared before her, whining like a small child. The mechanic blinked and made sure she kept her mouth closed.

The holoform, which was obviously Sunstreaker, had shaggy black hair with bright yellow bangs and Autobot blue eyes. His shirt had a bright red Autobot symbol but it was hidden beneath an unbuttoned yellow t-shirt. Sunstreaker's legs were encased in formfitting jeans and his high-tops where black with yellow strips.

"Lion, what cars did the new bots get?"

"Don't worry, Sunshine." Leon snorted, looking away before she started drooling over him and boost his ego up to far. "You're still have the most expensive alt-form."

"Good!" He grinned and then his tone morphed back into a whine. "Lion..."

"What?"

"Come play video games with me and Sides!"

"Fine."

* * *

"You're going down! Take this!"

"No! You glitch! You just killed me!"

"Noob! NOOOOO! MIRAGE, HOW COULD YOU?!"

"I am an _assassin_. It is what I do."

"I'M YOUR _TEAMMATE_, YOU FRAGGER!"

"I am a double-agent. "

"I'm going to hunt you _down_, Leon."

"Crap. Sides, don't avenge your brother! That's not _fair_. You're all ganging up on me!"

"Take this!"

"_NO_!"

"And this!"

"_GAH_!"

"And that!"

"You're dead."

"WHAT!? HOW THE _FRAG_ DID YOU KILL ME, LION!?"

"It's called skill."

* * *

Ellie frowned, holding open Hide's door as she looked at the mechanic.

"Are you sure you'll be okay here?"

"Course I am. You go take care of those injured soldiers and I'll keep building the engine for Larry."

"Larry?"

"He's the jeep with no engine. Duh." Leon snorted, crossing her arms with a grin.

"Alright."

"Tell me all about the Decepticons if you see them, 'kay?"

"I will. Try not to kill yourself while I'm gone. And don't go down stairs. And dinner's in the cafe-"

"Ellie, you're fussing again." Leon shoved the mocha skinned CMO into the truck and Ironhide slammed the door.

"I'll see you at the end of the day." Lennox appeared, hugging his niece. "Or really late at night. Don't wait up."

"Yeah, yeah. Try not to get yourself killed. Kay?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Will saluted, laughing as he climbed into Ironhide.

"Bout time. Let's go." The weapons specialist grumbled.

"Bye, Hide."

"Yeah." Leon delivered a swift kick to his tires, and the mech revved off to the waiting plane.

* * *

Ellie was bored. The plane ride back to Diego Garcia was way to long for her liking.

Fig grinned at her from across the plane, tossing a small ball of paper at the young woman, which she pegged him in the face with.

The group on this plane had been gone nearly a week, out on the field, and Ellie really missed Leon. The mocha woman's ears popped as the plane began its descent and it wasn't long until she was stretching her legs out in the sun.

Lennox met her at the door to the Autobot hanger, and he smiled, knuckle-bumping her.

"Where's Leon?"

"She went to have a shower. I think she went to the main one, by the training room."

"What was she doing over there?" Ellie frowned, pushing her hands into her pockets.

"I think she was challenged to a shoot-off with Irohide and Sunstreaker. I don't know who won." Lennox shrugged. "But she was sweating and greasy, so she used the women's showers."

"I'll go talk to her."

"It was a while ago. She might not be there."

"I'll check anyway." Ellie shrugged, moving to the human door.

Her footsteps echoed down the nearly empty halls and Ellie turned the corner, trotting into the women's bathroom with a smile that quickly faded.

"Leon?" Ellie stared, horror crossing her face. She was glad for her ability not to throw up when she saw horrible wounds.

"Ellie..." Leon lifted her haunted green eyes from the blood drenching the floor. She was pressed against the thick shower divider, a white-knuckled grip on a pistol.

"Leon, what happened?" Ellie took a careful step forward, and Leon's eyes snapped to the body on the floor. A puddle of crimson was spreading across the pristine white tiles, slowly dripping down the center drain.

"I killed him." The mechanic shivered. Ellie grabbed a towel off the rack and stepped closer, wrapping it around her shocked friend.

"What happened, exactly?" Ellie pulled out her phone. "I'm gonna text Uncle Epps and Will. That's okay, right?"

Leon nodded, scrubbing her face with the back of her hand to rid herself of tears. While she texted, Ellie examined Leon for any injury, still not knowing what had happened.

"The new Autobots arrived yesterday." Ellie hummed, stroking her best friend's hair.

"Yeah."

"I saw them earlier."

"They're nice."

There was silence in the bathroom.

"He tried to rape me."

"WHAT!?" Ellie screeched, making Leon flinch.

"I'd like to keep my ears."

"WHO IS THIS JERK ANYWAY!?"

"Your oh so fantastic _Luke_." The mechanic spat, wiping blood off her face from a small cut on her cheek.

"That bastard! I'm going to kill him!"

"He's already dead, remember?" Leon rolled her eyes, as Will and Epps burst into the room.

"WHAT'S WRONG!? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Lennox yelled, eyes flickering over the room. "Why is there a guy on the floor?"

"Better yet, why is he bleeding?" Epps knelt beside the man, flipping him over. "Holy shit. This is Luke."

"Leon, Ellie...What's going on?"

"I killed him."

"You'd better have a good reason for this." Epps growled. "Killing people-"

"He tried to fucking _rape_ me. How's that for killing a person!?"

"Oh."

"You were panicking. What's wrong, Will? And why are you in the femme side of the-" Ironhide's holoform appeared, arms crossed and grouchy. "Oh. Who shot Luke?"

"I did." Leon glanced up at the war veteran.

"Nice shot." Hide knelt next to the body. "You've never shot a person before, so that's understandable why he's bleeding so much."

"Ironhide, I don't think-"

"I should really put you in the training schedule." The mech hummed, stroking the rough stubble on his chin. "You've shot a gun before, obviously. And you should put some clothes on. You wouldn't want Sunstreaker and Sideswipe to walk in on you like this. You and your squishy modesty."

* * *

Leon was frowning again. Ellie poked her with a ruler, and earned a small smile.

"What are you doing?"

"...nothing." Leon muttered, chewing on several chips before returning to her hunched position over her laptop.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Ellie snorted, leaning over. Leon minimized her browser and all the windows.

"Fine. Don't tell me."

"I'll tell you when I'm done." Leon huffed, typing rapidly.

Two hours later, Leon slammed her hands onto the table and slammed her laptop closed. Ellie jumped about a foot.

"Come with me."

Ellie raced after the brunette, who was hunting for her uncle.

"Will!" The mechanic yelled, slamming the laptop onto the cafeteria table he was seated at and opening it. "Read this."

Ellie peered over her shoulder and her jaw dropped.

Will frowned, reading the screen out loud.

"Name: Luke Thorne-Smith. Age: twenty-nine. Served time, five years, for abusive rape, age sixteen. Released for good behavior. Served time, four years, sexual assault, age twenty-one. Released for good behavior. Served time, five years, age twenty-four. Released for good behavior. Mildly emotionally imbalanced. Sociopath."

"Where did you find that?" Epps breathed, eyes wide. The cafeteria was silent.

"I've had an uneasy feeling about the guy for a while. So, I started poking around the web and hard drives. I found that. Whoever Luke hired, obviously didn't do a good enough job." Leon tapped the screen.

"I'm not sure what to say..." Will ran a hand through his blond hair.

* * *

Sunstreaker peeked around the corner, gesturing for his brother to follow. They snuck around the corner, grinning as they advanced on a recharging Optimus. The poor Autobot commander had worked himself to death, and had passed out on his desk.

"Here." Sideswipe murmured, passing his brother the bundle in his arms and moved to the back of Optimus's head. The panel at the base of the Prime's helm opened with minimal effort and Sideswipe fiddled with several wires as Sunstreaker placed the largest part of the bundle on the blue-and-red custom painted bot and then pulled out a large black pen, made for the twins in every color under the rainbow.

Sideswipe snickered as he shut the panel, and backed away to the door, followed moments later by his brother.

* * *

**::Prowl to Optimus.:: **The Autobot leader jumped about a foot, pulling his sword out of sub-space and sliding his battle mask on.

**::Yes, Prowl?::**

**::Major Lennox would like to speak with you.::  
**

**::Tell him I will be there in a kilk.::  
**

**::Yes, sir. Prowl out::  
**

The Autobot leader pushed himself up, returning his sword to sub-space and he marched out the door.

He passed the Twins in the hall, and they glanced over. Amusement flickered through their optics and they sped away. Optimus sighed.

It was Ironhide who paused as he was walking past an intersection, seeing his leader coming down the hall.

"That's new." The black bot shook his head, continuing on.

Bumblebee waved as he saw Optimus, waiting for the plane he was taking to Sam's new apartment to fuel up.

His optics went wide, and the Mexican Hat dance blared from his radio. Optimus looked puzzled, continuing into the meeting with Major Lennox.

The major turned on his catwalk as Optimus approached.

"Morning, Op..timus." Will laughed. "That's a new look."

"I have received strange looks as I walked through the base." Prime was still confused. Lennox held up a finger, and fiddled with a camera and the large screen and then turned it on the Prime.

Optimus blinked, prodding the large sambero with a servo and staring at the moustache drawn under his nose.

"Twins." The Peterbilt nodded.

**::Prime to Twins::**

**::Yeeees? Can we help you?::  
**

**::The brig is in need of company.:** Optimus waited a moment, and then smiled. **::Ole::**

**::Yes, Prime.::  
**

* * *

**AN-I don't own Transformers. And yes, Luke is a rapist. There was a reason I didn't like him. So now he's dead. Below are the four new bots' alt forms, for those who are curious.  
**

**Smokescreen- white, blue, red racing Honda CR-Z Hybrid **

**Blaster- metallic grey Scion xB **

**Powerglide- red Sukhoi-34**

**Cliffjumper- red Dodge Challenger 2011**


	17. Decepticons

Megatron grumbled, poking several large data pads with a clawed servo. The stupid reports Soundwave and Shockwave has sent were dreadfully boring, and if there was _anything_ the Decepticon leader hated more than his brother Optimus, it was dreadfully-boring-really-long-reports he had to look over.

And that was saying something.

However, somewhere in one of those many reports, was a possible location or two of the Autobot base, and he needed something to base his plans on other than revenge, like he often did.

A small human computer sat to his right, open and running on the 'desktop'. The bronze mech needed to go through that as well, and he'd rather be going through the vast amounts of knowledge the World Wide Web had, than read the reports.

So he did. His fingers touched the laptop and the screen began flashing at once. Megatron found some Cybertronian symbols, which led to the Matrix, which led him through his own mind to Cybertron and an alliance he'd made long ago. So he switched his attention to the human group called National Aeronautics and Space Administration, or NASA for short.

A grin twitched across his face, observing the information laid out before him with a critical eye.

Yes, that would do quite nicely.

* * *

Starscream was enjoying a very nice flight when his leader got his attention.

**::Starscream.::**

**::Yes, Lord Megatron?:: **The Seeker watched the tiny human insects mill around the large city they lived in, oblivious to the fact he could squash them all quite quickly, and then they'd be dead, dead, dead.

**::Return to base. Now.::**

**::Right away, Lord Megatron!::  
**

The Seeker rolled his optics, heaving a sigh before pointing his nose towards the Norway, where Megatron had relocated after the battle in Egypt.

Whatever the leader wanted, it had obviously put him in a semi-good mood.

* * *

Barricade grumbled under his breath as he kicked the last piece of metal into place on the crude ship they'd been repairing. His optics flashed with annoyance as he gazed at his companions for this journey. Both Starscream and Soundwave were busy prepping the Nemesis for take off.

He wondered briefly why the hell he had to go too, but knew better than to question Megatron, no matter how good of a mood he was in.

The Decepticon leader was seated against a tree, arms draped over his knees.

"The Nemesis is ready for take off." Starscream appeared before the bronze mech, and Megatron waved him away.

"Retrieve every object of value," Megatron growled.

"And what of the crash vault, Lord Megatron, sir?" The Seeker asked, hunching as the towering mech stood and bashed him on the head.

"Do not interrupt me, Starscream!" He thundered. "The crash vault is not to be touched."

"I'm terribly sorry, Lord Megatron. Yes, Lord Megatron."

"Go. Before I lose what limited patience I have for you."

* * *

"What are these?" Starscream knelt, poking one of the cylindrical metal things on the ground.

"Pillars." Barricade replied, and Soundwave nodded, lifting two bundles and depositing them into the Nemesis.

"Load up." The Communications Officer gestured to the hundreds of pillars around the crashed ship, which was one the Autobot transportation, the Ark.

Barricade mumbled something about getting the ones inside, and then vanished, he poked one of the Autobots that was very much offlined.

"-prisoner. Lock doors. Prevent Decepticon escape." Long forgotten words spewed from the mech's mouth, and Barricade accessed the Bot's processor, striding through the ship until he reached a flat part of wall, marked with scorches and ancient runes.

He thumped the wall, and then his hand shifted, morphing into a gun that blasted away the weak metal and revealed a large cell.

Barricade lifted an optic ridge, kicking the one of the Cons inside with his foot.

"Fancy finding them here." He snorted, pulling several cubes of Energon from sub-space. He remotely accessed the first Con's hard drive, opening the clenched mouth and dumping the Energon roughly down his throat.

Humming filled the small area as Barricade moved to the next mech.

In fact all three were mechs; two Seekers that Starscream would be happy to see, and another land-walker who was quite relieving to find.

Coughing came from the first mech, and Barricade turned crimson optics over to him.

"Have a good recharge?" The Saleen asked, amusement flickering in his optics.

"Barricade?! What the hell are you doing here?!" The blue Seeker yelled, waking the other two.

"Cadie!" The white and red mech in the middle launched upwards, arms flung open. "I missed you!"

"You missed drilling me open." Barricade snorted. "

"Well...Yeah, but that's beside the point! What are you doing on the Ark?"

"Starscream, Soundwave and I are loading up the Pillars, Knockout."

"The Pillars?" Knockout frowned, tapping is chin before grinning. "_Riiiiight_! The Pillars!"

"What you want us to help you?" The second Seeker frowned, his scuffed black painted blending with the shadows.

"Great idea!" Knockout strutted out and then stopped. "I have one question though. What are the Pillars?"

Barricade face-palmed.

* * *

Megatron watched as the Nemesis entered the atmosphere and landed in a spray of dirt in a largely unpopulated area of Texas. The metal of the ship puckered and warped, before falling away and reveling Starscream's foot and a ship filled with Pillars.

Six Cons stepped off, and Megatron lifted an optic ridge. He's sent only three.

"Megatron!" Knockout grinned, bowing.

"Where did you find them, Barricade?" The bronze mech frowned, turning to the police car.

"Brig on the Ark."

"Pity they couldn't have stayed there. However, now that you are here, perhaps you'll be useful. Scan the World Wide Web to find an alt form, and then distribute the Pillars among the Decepticons around this pathetic planet."

"Yes, Lord Megatron." The two newest Seekers sighed, scarlet eyes dimming as they searched. When they were done a dark blue F-15 Eagle and a black Sukhoi Su-47 sat in the burnt grass before they shot away, filled with Pillars.

"The crash vault remained untouched." Soundwave murmured, transforming into his Mercedes alt-from.

"Excellent. Shockwave," The single-optic'd con appeared, melting out of the shadows. "Rid the world of all the insects that were involved with the Apollo Eleven incident."

"Of course, Lord Megatron." Both nodded, and Megatron vanished.


	18. Upgrade

"Major Lennox, NASA is insisting contact with you." Mirage's holoform appeared in the man's office. "He's on line two."

"Thanks Mirage." The Human Commander sighed, lifting the phone. "This is Major William Lennox speaking."

'_My name is Harold. I work in scans of the atmosphere. Having been informed of what happens at NEST, I'd like to report that I have spotted a large ship entering the atmosphere.'_

"Thank you, Harold." Will nodded, slowly. "We'll get right on it."

"These Decepticons pose no threat." Mirage informed, arms crossed over his red button up.

"I'll talk with Optimus." Will stood, striding out of his office.

* * *

**::Mirage to Optimus Prime::**

**::Prime here. Can I help you, Mirage?::**

**::Si. I have recieved a comm. from our ship, Xanthium. It seems we have some Wreckers heading our way.::**

**::First the Decepticons three days ago...and now Wreckers. Thank you, Mirage.::**

* * *

"_Oi!_ Don't touch the Xanthium, you nancy wankers! That's Autobot property, you hear!"

"These glitch-heads are going to damage the ship!"

"Stop touching! Look, no touching!"

"Please, Wreckers, calm down."

"But they're touching the Xanthium, Prime! They can't touch it!"

"Well, they _can_ touch it...We just don't want them to."

"Oi! You! In the blue! PUT THAT BACK!"

"This is hopeless, Prime."

"I know, Ratchet."

"GIVE ME THAT! DON'T KNOCK THAT OVER!"

"Too late!"

There was a deep sigh.

"I believe it would be best if the Wreckers remained here, to fix the Xanthium under NASA's supervision."

"You just don't want to deal with them."

"Do you?"

"That's true."

"Wreckers, you will remain here on the NASA base, to repair the Xanthium."

"Rodger that, Prime. Oi! Topspin, put the squishy down!"

"But it's squishy."

"That's why they're called squishies, you dumb aft!"

"Can we go now?"

"Yes, Prime. Yes, we can."

* * *

Bumblebee cruised into the base, his normally happy yellow color even brighter than usual.

His door popped open, and a brown haired male appeared, shielding his eyes with his hand. Bee transformed behind him.

"_Welcome! Enjoy your stay!"_

"YO! Mudflap, look!"

"Hey, it's that Sam kid! Yo! Yo! Sam!"

"Remember us!? We were in Egypt with you and Bee!"

"We's the Twins!"

"We ain' the Twins no more! We're the Tiny Twins, 'member?"

"Riiiight! So!? You remember us!?"

"Uh, yeah. You're Mudflap," Sam pointed to the green Twin, and then the red. "And you're Skids."

"Aw, man. He totally dun remember."

"Boys, stop harassing Sam."

"Yes, Lion." The Tiny Twins stepped back, pouting as a woman emerged from the Autobot hanger, wiping one of her hands on a dirty rag which she stuffed into her pocket.

"Nice to meet you, Sam. I've heard quiet a bit about you from Bee." The brunette patted Bumblebee's foot, and he chirped, puffing out his chest.

"Uh, hi..."

"Sorry. Leon, Leon Lennox." She grinned, holding out her hand.

"I thought Will only had one daughter." Sam seemed confused as he shook her hand.

"I'm his niece. Come on in, I have a grumpy baby waiting for me." She gestured him into the Autobot hanger, and grabbed a wrench as she passed it.

Bee followed, a small smile on his face. Leon kicked Ironhide's wheel as she boosted herself up on his front bumper to reach into his engine.

"OW! FRAG IT, FEMME! THAT HURTS!" The Weapons Specialist bellowed, alt-form shuddering.

"See. Grumpy baby, I told you." Leon laughed, as Sam watched.

"What exactly do you do here?"

"At the moment, I'm officially hired as the Autobot mechanic, but due to a recent...mishap with the liaison, I'm part of the team taking Luke Thorne's job, until a new liaison can be found."

"So, Luke was the liaison? What happened to him?"

Bee and Leon shared a look.

"_He was shot_. _About two months ago._" Bee muttered, seating himself.

The door shot open, and Leon grumbled.

"LION! Chromia damaged my paint!" Sunstreaker wailed, followed quickly by his brother.

"You can fix it yourself, you're a big bot."

"But-" The golden mech began.

"Out. It's nearly my break, and I've gotta take Sam to Uncle Will."

The Twins slunk out, pouting.

"Who was that?" Sam asked, looking a little spooked.

"Sunstreaker; he's Sides' Twin."

* * *

"Sam. Nice to see you." Will clapped the boy on the shoulder, smiling. "Where's Mikeala? I thought she was coming with you?"

"Mikeala and I...broke up." Sam choked, and Leon rolled her eyes, dancing over to Ellie, who was muttering to herself over which food she should eat for lunch.

"The sandwiches are good." The brunette poked her friend. Ellie jumped nearly a foot in the air.

"DON'T DO THAT!"

"What?" Leon gave her friend and innocent look, and smile.

"Sneak up on me."

"I did no such thing! Accusing me of things like that! Uncle Wiiiiill~! Ellie's accusing me of things i didn't do!"

"That's nice." The Major didn't glance over his shoulder and continued on with his conversation with Sam.

"Tattle-tale."

"Anyway, Sunny and Sides and Mirage want to have a race, and they want us to drive. I was gonna ask Sam if he and Bee wanna join us!"

"Sure, why not?"

"YAY~!" Leon threw her arms up and grinned.

"You've been eating candy, haven't you?"

"No. Ratchet doesn't allow candy."

"Where's your secret stash?" Ellie crossed her arms.

"If I share, will you not tell Ratchet?"

"It's _candy_ that you're bribing me with."

"It's in a secret cupboard by the Med-Bay."

"We shall dispose of the evidence, ma'am!"

"What are you disposing of?" Epps appeared behind them. Ellie and Leon jumped.

"Nothing." The women bolted off.

* * *

"HAHA! I WON!" Sunstreaker yelled, transforming to pump his fist. Leon grabbed onto his shoulder plates and squealed.

"FRAG! SUNNY! WARN ME NEXT TIME!" She yelled, practically glued to his shoulder.

"Oh. Right. Sorry. We won!"

"Ugh." Ellie fell against Mirage's horn, the blaring sound loud and obnoxious.

Sam grumbled and pat Bee's hood.

"Two points for the Twins!" Sideswipe high-fived his brother.

"No. That's one point for Sunstreaker, and one point for Sideswipe." Ellie argued, crossing her arms and pouting, chewing on half-a-bag of Skittles.

"Wouldn't that make me the winner?" Leon glanced up...down...up? "You know, since I drove both of them?"

She and Ellie shared a look before collapsing in a fit of giggles.

"Huh?" The Twins frowned, confused.

"God, guys." Sam shook his head. "That's the worst...whatever it is."

"I believe it's a sexual innuendo." Ellie grinned, shoving the Skittles bag into her pocket.

"Again...huh?" Sideswipe prodded Leon, who was still on his brother's shoulder.

"Look up..." Leon paused, humor flickering through her green eyes. "Sex ride 'em, cowgirl."

The Autobot's optics dimmed before horrified looks stretched over their facial plates and they reeled back.

"Oh god. My optics! Why, Lion? _Why_!?"

Leon and Ellie collapsed into a fit of giggles again, and Leon nearly slid off Sunstreaker's shoulder. Despite his dislike for 'squishies', Leon seemed to be the exception.

"What is going on here?" The entire group stiffened, turning slowly and hiding any and all forms of junk food from Ratchet's searching optics.

"Hello Ratchet," Ellie straightened, and put her 'professional face' on. "We were having a few races. No harm done."

"You seem to have ingested a large amount of sugars." Ratchet's eyes narrowed.

"I'll make you a deal, Ratch." Leon spoke up from Sunny's shoulder. "Let's have a race. If Sunny and I, or Ellie and Mirage, or Sam and Bee win, we get to have nothing but food and drinks of our choosing for a week, if you win, we'll eat on a strict diet for a week, of your choosing, including the Autobots."

Ratchet paused, statistics filtering through his processor, before nodding.

"In one hour, we will meet back here and race, before all of the Autobots present and any NEST humans not on duty." The CMO turned on his heel and strode back to his Med-Bay.

"What have you done, Lion? We're gonna loooooose!" Sunstreaker wailed. "Ratchet's really stubborn!"

"Get your aft back to my hanger. You need an upgrade. It won't be pretty, but I'll take it off later."

The four 'Bots and three humans carted themselves back to the hanger, and Sunstreaker let Leon down, where she promptly scurried to a sectioned off, yellow painted cupboard labelled 'Dangerous, Flammable, Don't Touch on Pain of Death.'

"I've been meaning to you a few of you upgrades for a while, but I haven't had the time...So you get a temporary upgrade until I can get a better one. And at the moment, I'm handling all the orders for Ratchet and myself, which means they all get approved." Leon turned. "'Streaker, meet Nitro."

"That's so ugly."

"You wanna win, don't you?"

"Yes..."

"Then suck it up."

* * *

Ratchet's smug smirk was stuck on his face as he strode through the base, several Autobots trailing behind him.

"Ratchet must think he'll win," Smokescreen murmured to Wheeljack, who was fiddling with some sort of contraption while they walked. "To bet something this big on a race."

"I'm very curious to see how this will turn out." The mad scientist nodded.

Ratchet transformed into his alt-mode, tuned and filled with Energon. He was the first to arrive at the start line, and the Autobots took up spots along the side of the round track. Some, like Ironhide and Optimus, had several humans on their bonnets and their roofs.

"Look, there's Sunstreaker!" Epps yelled. "And Mirage and Bee. What exactly was this bet?"

"If one of them wins, all the humans and Autobots on base get to eat and drink whatever they want for a week, and if I win, which _will_ happen, you will all eat on a strict diet for a week."

"Don't get too cocky, old-timer." Mirage rumbled as he pulled up next to the SAR Hummer. "You haven't won yet."

Sunstreaker pulled up, grumbling about his new addition, which Leon had tucked under his back bumper, and you couldn't actually see.

Sideswipe cast a nervous look at Ratchet and his brother, and lifted the green towel in his hand.

"On your marks, get set," He paused. Leon revved Sunny's engine. "GO!"

The mechanic slammed her foot on the gas, and she and Sunstreaker took off like a shot, quickly followed by Mirage and Ratchet, with Bumblebee not far behind.

The Hummer, despite what it was against, pulled past the Ferrari with ease around the first turn and began gaining on Sunstreaker's Lamborghini alt-form.

As the two rounded the third corner, Leon grinned.

"Ready, 'Streaker?"

"Let's leave the old-timer in the dust."

"What are you two planning?" Ratchet growled, and Leon thumped the gold car on the dash. Blue-purple fired from Sunstreaker's new addition and Leon threw her hands into the air, allowing the speed-Bot control for a moment as she let out a war cry. The scenery blurred and the two sailed over the finish line and splattered anyone in their way with dirt and sand.

"Holy crap." Epps breathed, watching Ratchet's now trundling speed compared to the winners.

"YEAH!" Ellie's voice filtered over the open comm. link that the Autobots had playing on loud. "Nice upgrade, Lion!"

"We did it! Candy for all! And I want fragging burgers!"

Sunny transformed, and skidded a few feet before grinning.

"That was awesome!"

Ratchet grumbled as he transformed.

"What was that?"

"Upgrade." Leon laughed from Sunstreaker's shoulder.

"You didn't-"

"I didn't say anything against it, or about it. Therefore, it wasn't against the rules, as there were no rules."

"Glitch." Ratchet grumbled under his breath as he stomped away.


	19. Paintball

"Oh god. This is so good. Soooo good."

"You need a life."

"No. I need more of these sinfully delicious burgers. Seriously, these are awesome."

"Your uncle makes the best burgers." Ellie grinned, meat juice dripping down her chin as she held a burger with one hand and a soda with the other.

"I wish I could try one." Bee grumbled, pouting as he sipped. "You look like you're enjoying them."

"No kidding. Mid-grade with copper is great, but that looks pretty good. Even to me." Sideswipe nodded.

"And your holoforms won't work?" Leon asked, downing half a soda in one gulp.

"Unfortunately, our holoforms are not solid." Sunstreaker shook his head. "And my holoform cannot truly capture the greatness that is me."

"Sure, Streaker. Whatever you say." The mechanic rolled her eyes.

"It's true!"

"Uh-huh. The problem here is you think you're great."

"I am! I'm famous, you know!"

"Really?" Leon gave him a non-believing look.

"Any Autobot on this base can vouch for that." Bee nodded. "He's an artist."

"It's the artists that have the biggest egos." Ellie whispered.

Sunstreaker pouted.

* * *

Wheeljack hummed as he doubled checked his latest creation, watching the partially open door for test subjects. His day was made when Sunstreaker and his twin strode by, carting along their mechanic friend.

"Ah! Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Miss Lennox! Might I borrow you for a moment?" The tiny scientist asked, pressing his hands together with an innocent smile.

"Sure." Sideswipe grinned, stepping into the lab while Leon peered around.

"Never been in here before, and I've never met you. Hi." The human femme grinned up at him.

"Hello! My designation is Wheeljack, and I am an inventor." Wheeljack's hand patted his desk for the papers he wanted. "If the Twins would just take a seat over there, in those chairs and allow me access to their holoform data..."

"Maybe this will solve your crisis, Sides!" Leon laughed, as she was seated on the edge of the fairly safe table. Sideswipe popped open his helm and Wheeljack's fingers dove in and fiddled with a few wires.

"Sideswipe, would you activate your holoform beside Miss Lennox?" The scientist hummed, tweaking a final wire. Sideswipe nodded, activating the holoform.

Leon glanced at the forming male in fascination.

He was tall, with shaggy brown hair and bright blue eyes. His shirt was black with a red Autobot symbol on the front and a pair of dark blue jeans sat on his lean waist.

"Like what you see?" Sideswipe gave a cocky grin.

"Maybe."

"Miss Lennox, you can touch him."

"I can!?"

Leon tackled Sideswipe's holoform to the desktop, causing him to grunt in surprise.

"Fantastic! It worked!" Wheeljack clapped his hands. "Sideswipe, I've programmed this solid holoform to be able to digest human food and change it Energon."

"Burger, here I come!"

"Sunstreaker?" Wheeljack turned to the second Twin.

"You frag my paint, I frag your face." The gold Twin warned, dropping into the seat previously occupied by a large amount of scrap metal and paper.

"I won't harm your paint."

* * *

Will hummed lightly to himself as he stretched, a headphone in his ear and the other held in the front of his t-shirt. Several other military men stretched around him, ready to try the newest obstacle course the engineers had constructed.

Several paintball guns sat to the side, hung on racks with ammo clips waiting to be used.

Will glanced up as three pairs of legs appeared in his vision.

"Leon, who are these...boys?" The commander asked, crossing his arms.

"Streaker and Sides." She grinned. "We're testing out Wheeljack's new holoforms. Mind if we join you?"

"You're going to get hurt though." Will gnawed his lower lip.

"Will, how do you think I practice at the range back home? I'm not a little girl. I've had a membership since my sixteenth birthday. The three of us will be a team, it's all good."

"Wait, you said that was Sunstreaker and Sideswipe!" The brunette finally clued in.

"Yeah."

"Let the kid play!" One of the rookies yelled. "Not like a girl can do much harm."

"Uh-oh. He's screwed." Sides grinned, wrapping his arms around Leon's body to keep her from mauling the man. "Get him back in the game, Lion. In the game."

She nodded, and then ducked under his arms to get gear for the three of them.

"Let go of my niece. I see anything not PG out there, and I'm coming after you while you sleep. Got it?" Will snarled, green eyes narrowed.

"Yes, sir!" Sideswipe saluted and then followed after Leon. "I want the red paint. It's the same colour as my old paint job."

"Then Streaker can have yellow and I'll have white!"

"Teams!" Will yelled, having finished grouping the rookies into groups of six. "Pick a colour each."

"White." Leon demanded. Will nodded.

She pulled on her gear and grabbed a rifle, followed swiftly by her Twin friends.

"Go get yourself a good spot in the course; you're gonna be the Cons." Will gave the Twins a slightly insane look.

"Great!" Leon laughed, grabbing Sideswipe's hand and darting into the cityscape that made up the course.

She darted down a street and into a building, tying her hair up as she pulled the goggles over her face. The Twins shared nervous looks as she climbed to the third floor of the building, far at the other side of the course.

"Lion?"

She hissed. "Boys, get down. Now."

"Yes, ma'am!" Sides grinned goodnaturedly. "What's the plan?"

"You see a guy, shoot him. Make sure it takes only one it. We're moving if nobody comes. And remember we're Cons, so act evil or something."

"Yes, Lady Lion!" Sunstreaker turned to the window next to the Leon.

"Lady Lion?" She frowned, looking confused.

"Yeah! Megatron likes to be called lord!" Sideswipe nodded, peering around outside. "We've got company. I'll take the two on the right."

"I'll get the two under the window." Leon cocked her gun, and propped it against the window, half hidden by the wall between her's and Sideswipe's.

"I got the last two. Did Major Lennox pull the start?"

A loud bell rang, and Leon nodded.

Six quick shots rang out at the six unsuspecting rookies, and they stared in surprise as white blossomed on the front and backs of their jackets.

Leon grinned, watching as they fell "dead".

"Hurry. We've gotta drag them into the building, and take their paint." Leon slung her rifle over her back.

"Hang on." Sunstreaker fished in his pocket and passed her a small communicator. "I'm staying here to keep an eye on the surroundings, but I can't contact you."

"Thanks. We'll see you in a bit." Leon and Sideswipe charged down the stairs. They reappeared several seconds later, dragging the rookies into the building. Sideswipe went to grab the last one, but Leon waved him off.

Sunstreaker shifted, watching his brother vanished before scanning the streets on either side of the buildings Leon was using as cover.

"_Leon, you've got company. Two on the left, and four on the right. My suggestion: hide in the shop behind you._" He murmured into the comm. in her ear.

"_Watch this._" Leon slid to the left, ducking into the building at the last second, and lowering herself out the window behind the two male rookies. The mechanic pulled a larger ball of white paint from the bag on her hip, and fiddled with it before sliding forward and pressing it against the back of the man on the left. His woman partner peered around the corner as Leon dove into the building, just as the paint grenade went off.

White splattered the man and his partner, and both sighed, falling dead. Leon was quick to raid them for paint, which was luckily white.

"Sneaky bitch."

"I'm Decepticon Lion, leader of the Terror Twins! I'd ask you to grovel if you weren't dead!" Leon laughed, turning to the corner and watching as the other four came around the corner. She ducked into her building again.

"_Shoot 'em, boys."_

Four gun shots later, she poked her head out and fired at the remaining man, who had dodged shot sent at him by a "Terror Twin".

"_What happened to the other two?_" Sideswipe questioned, appearing at the bottom of their building with a grin.

"Dead. Let's move. It ain't safe here anymore."

Sunstreaker poked his head out from behind his brother and the group of three "Cons" moved down the street, peering around the corner of Leon's cover building at the main street.

All three reloaded their guns, and fired with amazing aim into the remaining three of the yellow team.

* * *

Will narrowed his eyes, watching as the three remaining rookies of the team opposite him fell, white paint splattering their chests.

"Epps,"

The black man glanced over.

"We've got two Cons on the corner of Gamma-Eight."

"Who do you think it is?" The man questioned, shifting beside his niece.

"The Leader and her Terrors."

"Do I wanna know?" Ellie asked from beside her uncle. "I'm surprised that Leon didn't hear about this game. She'd be all over it."

The uncles shared looks and then ducked as another group appeared behind them, firing rapidly.

"Ellie, Anthony, take the two on the right." Will pointed out his instructions. "Epps, Sam, investigate the white painters over on Gamma-Eight."

Epps nodded. He and his American partner took off, leaving the six for the other four of their unit.

The black man edged around the corner, gun out and primed.

* * *

Will and Ellie ducked around the corner, intent on going for Epps and Sam. Sam was laying on the ground, "dead". White paint was splattered on his chest and ammunition was gone.

Epps was gasping dramatically against the building, white splattered on his leg and shoulder as well as his side.

"Uncle Epps! Are you alright!?" Ellie rushed over.

"The Cons...?"

"Dunno."

"Get revenge! They took my ammo and Sam's."

"Who was it?" Will asked, turning his face to Epps.

"It was-" White paint splattered his chest and face and Epps died immediately.

"Quick! Find them!" Will turned, and darted over to the window. Two guns sat alone, timed trigger on. "Damn. Those brats are smart. Let's go Ellie."

"It was white paint. Follow the trail."

* * *

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker grinned at each other from either side of the window, giving a thumbs up and striding through the designed mess.

"Look what I found!" Leon grinned, holding up rope. "Let's trick the next group."

"Right! You'll be tied up and we'll be the good guys!" Sunny nodded, snatching away the rope and grabbing her wrists.

* * *

Ellie wasn't sure who did it, but of her team, only she and Will were left, armed to the teeth. Apparently, according to the engineer in the booth above as well as Ironhide, who was helping them cheat, there was only three teams left; them, a group of four pink painters, and the Terror Cons with white paint.

Ironhide and Will wouldn't tell her who the Terror Cons were, but she had a bad feeling about them.

Two shots fired in rapid succession to their left, and the pair darted down the open street.

A single man was left, darting towards them, but was taken out by a single paintball from behind, leaving a smug looking, very handsome, male with brown hair.

"Sideswipe." Will growled.

"The Twins are playing. That makes no sense."

"They're testing the new holoforms Wheeljack has." Will explained, lifting his gun. Ellie lifted hers.

"Little Mexican stand off we got going here! Can't we talk this out!?" The front-liner asked, gesturing with his trigger hand. Ellie fired, and Sideswipe ducked, the shot grazing his shoulder. The blue paint in her ammo clip exploded on the face of the wall behind him. "That wasn't very nice!"

Ellie and Will winced, heads smacking together. They shared a look, and then reached for the side of their heads. White came away.

"HAH! TAKE THAT, YOU STUIPID AUTOSCUM! FEEL THE WRATH OF THE LADY LION!"

"Crap." Ellie snarled, flinching as Sideswipe shot across her chest and Wills.

"Nice!"

"These holoforms are great!" Sideswipe grinned, turning to his Twin, who had emerged from the building on his left. Leon climbed from the one on the right.

"_Game over!"_ The engineer announced over the PA.

Groans filled the room, and Leon sped toward the main area firing a smiley face into the pavement at her feet for the heck of it.

* * *

"And then," Leon leaned forward, before smacking her hands on the table and gathering the attention she didn't have. She was currently located in the cafeteria with the Twins, Ellie, Will, Epps and the rookies from the game along with several others. "Streaker and I shot them in the head!"

"We won!" Sides bragged.

"Let's all get over my humiliation." Ellie grumbled. "And focus on my uncles. He was gasping like a dying fish."

"How do you know what dying fish sound like?" Epps hummed, face darkening in embarrassment. "Are you a fish murderer?! I bet you are!"

"Hey, it was better then the incident with the cat and whip cream."

"Don't ever mention that!"

"She just did!" Leon laughed, taking a swig of her rum which was promptly stolen by Sideswipe. "Hey! Give that back!"

"No. I'm gonna try it." He took a sip and then a gulp. "This is good."

"It's rum. Now give it back."

"You try, Sunny!" Sides passed it over Leon's head. Sunstreaker took a sip, and then grinned, downing the rest of it.

"Five..." Ellie held up her hand and watched her friend. "Four, three, two, one."

Leon tackled the yellow Twin, aiming a fist to his face.

"That was _my rum_!"

"Ow! I'll get you more! Ow! Lion! Get off!"

"Ha! Ow!" Sides yelled, rubbing his arm, which Leon had just punched on Sunstreaker.

"Ow!" Sunstreaker let out a howl. "Anybot! Help! Crazy glitch is attacking me!"

* * *

**::Prime to Ratchet:: -Optimus**

**::What!?:: -Ratchet**

**::Prowl glitched:: -Optimus**

**::On my way. What was it this time?:: -Ratchet**

**::Apparently, Prowl was responding to a distress signal from Sunstreaker in the cafeteria and Leon was attacking him.:: -Optimus**

**::So? Sunstreaker gets attacked a lot around here::- Ratchet**

**::Leon was attacking him::- Optimus**

The comm was quiet a moment.

**::LEON WAS!?:: -Ratchet**

**::Optimus to Wheeljack:: -Optimus**

**::Ah! Optimus, sir! You'll never guess!:: -Wheeljack**

**::Wheeljack! This is Ratchet! Have you completed the solid holoforms!?::- Ratchet**

**::Why yes! Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are testing them! How did you know?:: -Wheeljack**

**::Prowl glitched when he saw Leon beating the Twins up:: -Ratchet and Optimus**

**::Ah. That makes sense:: -Wheeljack**

* * *

_Well, this is kinda a filler chapter. And I know nothing about paintball. _**  
**


	20. Can't Take Him Alive

**Hey guys! Guess what~? We hit the 100 review mark! Who wants a bonus chapter?! Lemme know what you want and I'll see what I can do.**

* * *

"_Queen Beast to Swiper. Queen Beast to Swiper. Target is in my sights. I repeat, Target Pasta is in my sights! Over._"

Mirage frowned, glancing around the room at the quiet voice that seemed to come from everywhere and no where at the same time.

"_Copy that, Queen Beast. This is Swiper. I am in position. Over._"

"'ello?" The Italian questioned, placing his mid-grade on the table beside him.

"_Gold Star, what's your position?! Over._"

"_This is Gold Star. I'm position._"

"_You're supposed to say over when you're done! Over._"

"_I'm fragging in position! _Over."

"_Don't get your panties in a twist, Gold Star. Over."_

"_Shut it, Swiper. Over."_

"_Gold Star, Swiper; proceed with Plan A. Over."_

"_Roger that, Queen Beast! Over."_

Mirage shifted, activating his cloaking device as he shifted into the corner.

"_This is Queen Beast! Convert Plan A to Plan B! Over!_"

"_Yes, Queen Beast! Over._"

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe strode into the empty rec room, looking with interest at the half-empty Energon cube on the table.

"Wonder who left this here?" Sideswipe prodded it. Mirage sighed in relief, until some sort of white powder suddenly fell from above him.

"Hello, Mirage." Sunstreaker grinned, staring at the flour coated mech as his Twin stepped forward.

"'ello. Howa are you todaya, Sunstreaker?" Mirage laughed nervously, edging along the wall. Whatever the Twins and "Queen Beast" were up to, it was not good.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking."

* * *

"Noa! Youa can't takea me alive!" Mirage clawed at the ground, trying to gain purchase as the Twins dragged him by his legs towards the Med-Bay.

"Tooa latea!" Sideswipe laughed, opening the Med-Bay door and stepping in.

"NO! You'rea nota takin' me alive! I swear it toa Primus!"

"Don't be a hardaft!" Sunny growled, leaning backwards as Mirage grabbed the door frame. His grip slipped and the red mech scrambled for the door. Sideswipe tackled him by the waist and began dragging him again.

Mirage grabbed the door frame with his hands, nearly parallel with the ground as Sideswipe tried to get the bot in.

"They're not going to hurt you." Ratchet snorted, arms crossed from his spot beside Wheeljack.

"No. Buta you might!"

"Come on! Mirageeeee!" Sides whined, tugging harder. "Guys, I could use some help."

Sunstreaker grinned, blue optics focusing on something behind Mirage as it strode up. Leon took a deep breath and waved, grinning all the while.

"BOO!"

"AHHH! IT'S A GLITCHA MOUSE! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Mirage screamed, jumping into Sideswipe's arms.

"Nice-"

"GLITCH MOUSE! WHERE!? KILL IT!" Ironhide roared, launching himself onto Ratchet's head. He had managed to get himself injured with a piece of rock while training, which was why he was there. "KILL IT WITH FIRE! OR CANNONS! JUST KILL IT!"

"What's a glitch mouse?" Leon asked, stepping into the Med-Bay as Sunstreaker slid the door shut.

* * *

Optimus frowned, straightening a data-pad on his desk while the human clock behind him ticked. It was ticking him off; no pun intended.

The Autobot Commander was ready to take a page out of Ironhide's books and shoot the damn thing when he received a comm.

**::Prowl to Optimus Prime:: -Prowl**

**::This is Optimus. How may I help you, Prowl?:: -Optimus **

**::Earlier you announced that you would be sending Bumblebee on a scouting mission. I regret to inform you that your plan will have to be changed. Bumblebee is in the Med-Bay with a virus.:: -Prowl**

**::Ah, I see. Any suggestions then, Prowl?:: -Optimus**

**::Yes. I suggest sending Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Leon to Norway. Mirage and Ellie can head to Argentina. Is that acceptable?:: -Prowl**

**::One moment please.:: -Optimus**

The custom painted Autobot subspaced a cannon and turned it on the clock. Kilks later, there was a scorch mark on the wall and pieces of the clock on the floor.

**::I will need a human janitor soon. I think that's a wonderful idea. It will give the base a week of peace.:: -Optimus**

**::Excellent. Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Mirage and their counterparts will be in your office momentarily for briefing and I'll alert the base's aircraft pilots to their takeoff.:: -Prowl**

**::Very well.:: -Optimus**

Optimus could have sworn he'd heard...something close to delight in Prowl's tone, but waved it off. Prowl simply wanted peace and quiet for a few days.

The Prime poked a pad, and then opened on of the drawers and pulled out another. Luckily for him, the human game of Solitaire was very similar to a Cybertronian game. Ratchet had been able to fix the data pad to look like Optimus was working.

Nobot knew about this pad except himself and the medic. If Prowl knew, he'd glitch. And the other bots...the pranking ones, they would do something horrible.

Optimus Prime was relativity safe from pranks. Being the Autobot Commander had it's perks for such things, but occasionally one bot would get cocky and target the Prime.

It usually didn't end well for that bot.

A knock on the door started Optimus out of his thoughts and he wirelessly opened the door after putting away his game pad.

"Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Mirage, Leon, Ellie."

"He did it!" Leon yelled, pointing to Mirage.

"No! They did it!" Ellie pointed to the Twins. Optimus held up a hand and the two women went quiet.

"I'm not going to ask why Mirage is covered in flour and you're blaming each other. However, I did call you in here to talk to you." He folded his arms on his desk. "Bumblebee is currently unable to scout, as he is in the Med-Bay with a virus. You five will be taking his place. Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Leon; your trip will be to Norway. While they are in Norway, Mirage and Ellie, you will be in Argentina. Your flights leave in half an hour. I suggest you start moving."

Optimus found his office empty in less than a fraction of a breem.

* * *

"I hate you." Leon growled, staring at Ellie, who was clad in a T-shirt and loose capris.

"That's nice. Have fun in the show!" Ellie skipped over to Mirage, who was waiting by their plane.

"Snow...Almost as bad as planes." Leon shuddered, shoving her backpack into the arms of her uncle. "Sideswipe! I'm sitting in your interior!"

The silver Corvette rolled forward and opened the back door for her.

"You'll be careful, right?" Will asked, handing her bag to another soldier.

"It's a scouting mission. Nothing is going to happen." Leon dead panned, tossing a pillow and a pile of blankets into Sideswipe's back seat.

"She's in good servos, sir!" Sideswipe's holoform appeared, grinning. The brunette put an arm around the mechanic.

"I'm worried about you three getting...closer." Will glared. Sideswipe backed away.

"Wimp." Leon snickered.

"Just be careful." Will pulled his niece into a hug, and pressed a gun into her hand. "It's one of Wheeljack's new weapons. Take it on a test run for him. It runs on Energon, so there's a lot of ammo in there. The Twins have Energon cubes if it needs refueling."

"Go away, Uncle Will. You've got stuff to do, and I'm perfectly safe. If anything, I'm going to be huddled in Side's alt mode with his heat blasting."

"Alright. Go on. Your plane is going to leave." Leon threw herself into the Corvette and pulled a blanket over her head.

* * *

Ellie hummed as she climbed on the plane, bobbing her head to the music in her headphones. There were perks to having Cybertronian friends.

Your iPod never died, you had better service, you had a giant robot protecting your ass if you were in a fight. And to top it off, said giant robot had a sexy alt mode and a sexier Italian accent.

Not that she would tell him. Mirage was pretty great though.

In one of the conversations she'd had with Ratchet, the medic had let it leak that Mirage was actually Cybertronian nobility. Ellie had thought it was pretty cool.

Arms circled her from behind and Ellie lashed out with her elbow.

"I was just hugging you, Ellie." Epps groaned. "But if you don't want a hug..."

"No, I really don't. I want a bear hug!" Ellie grinned, laughing at the dejected look on her uncle's face.

"You're in good servos. Be careful, don't talk to strangers, and make sure you eat your vegetables." He lectured, hugging his niece close.

"Yes, sir!" Ellie grinned, pulling away to find herself a seat.

"Ellie, take this." Epps tossed her a small electronic device. "It'll keep you in contact with Mirage. It's a communications link for us humans."

**::Mirage to Ellie. The pilots are ready to go.:: -Mirage**

"Bye Epps." Ellie turned, pressing the button on the side of the device as she pushed it into her ear. _"I'm coming, 'rage."_

**::That's Target Pasta.:: -Sideswipe**

**::Shut up.:: -Mirage **

"_Naw. It's all good, Red."_

**::I will come over there! Don't think I won't!:: -Mirage**

**::To late! We've just taken off!:: -Sideswipe**

"_We have! Oh my Primus! I'm gonna die!" _

**::Nice going, bro. You've freaked out Lion.:: -Sunstreaker**

**::I'm signing off!:: -Sideswipe**

"_You guys are all such losers." _Ellie chuckled.

**::What does that make you then? Since you know us.:: -Mirage**

"_I've already established I'm a loser, Mirage. I just though that you guys should know that you're losers too!"_

**::Very well. I'm still a sexy loser though.:: -Mirage**

"_No comment." _Ellie flushed as she buckled in, waiting for the plane to take off. Mirage just laughed.


	21. Kickin' in the Back Seat

Leon shivered in the back of Sides' alt mode, piled under blankets as she watched the snow covered countryside zip by.

"Are you still cold? The heat is on high." Sideswipe's voice murmured through the radio.

"J-just fi-i-i-ine. I'm not f-freezing or a-anything." Leon sniffed, curling into a smaller ball. "I'm g-going to k-k-kill Prowl w-when we g-get back."

"Aw, sweetspark, you're absolutely freezing!" Sideswipe moaned, pulling into an abandoned grove a trees. "We can stop for the night, if you want."

"No k-keep going. I-i think I-i'm cold b-because I-i've b-been staring at the s-s-snow."

"I'll put some music on!" She could hear the grin in his voice as the dials twisted on the radio. The first few notes of Mozart flew through the car.

"Sides, your music sucks." Leon uncovered herself and dragged the iPod in her pocket out. The mechanic leaned between the two front seats stretched to plug in the device.

"_Sides, what the hell was that?_" Sunstreaker growled over their comm. link.

"Nothing! Lion was changing the music."

"_Oh."_

Leon gave the dash board a weird look, but continued scrolling through her music. The first few notes of a new song rang through the front-liner's interior.

_So many girls in here, where do I begin? I see this one, I'm 'bout to go in Then she said "I'm here with my friends" She got me thinking, and that's when I said  
Where them girls at, girls at? Where them girls at, girls at? Where them girls at, girls at? So go get them, we can all be friends _

"No way! We're not listening to this!" Sideswipe growled, searching through her iPod.

_Seven a.m, waking up in the morning_

_Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs_

_Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal_

_Seein' everything, the time is goin'_

_Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'_

_Gotta get down to the bus stop_

_Gotta see my friends, my friends_

**::This is Mirage. All okay on your end, Twins?:: -Mirage**

**::If my idiot Twins would stop torturing the two of us, then yes everything would be fine.:: -Sunstreaker**

**::What's he doing?:: -Ellie**

**::Playing the song Friday, by Rebecca Black. Make it stop!:: -Leon**

**::Oh! I like that song!:: -Mirage**

**::Uh-oh.:: -Ellie**

**::Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up, which seat can I choose~?:: -Mirage**

**::Noooooo!:: -Sunstreaker and Leon**

**::It's Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend~!:: -Sideswipe and Mirage**

**::If you can't beat 'em, _join_ 'em.:: -Ellie**

**::_NO! ELLIE DON'T DO IT!_:: -Leon**

**::Friday, Friday! Gettin' down on Friday! Everybody's looking forward to the weekend! Partyin', partyin'. Yeah! Partyin', partyin'. Yeah! Fun, fun, fun, fun. Lookin' forward to the weekend!:: -Mirage, Ellie and Sideswipe**

**::Streaker! Help!:: -Leon**

**::Can't...Too busy...being tortured by...bad singing!:: -Sunstreaker**

**::We've gotta sing something else!:: -Leon**

**:: 7:45, WE'RE DRIVING ON THE HIGHWAY! CRUSIN' SO FAST, I WANT TIME TO FLY! FUN, FUN, THINK ABOUT FUN! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS-:: -Mirage, Ellie, and Sideswipe**

**::I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true! All I want for Christmas, is you!:: -Leon**

**::Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?:: -Mirage, Ellie and Sideswipe**

**::I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. And I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I don't need to hang my stocking, there upon the fireplace. Santa Claus won't make me happy, with a toy on Christmas day.:: -Sunstreaker and Leon**

**::It's Friday, Friday-:: -Mirage, Ellie and Sideswipe**

**::Wait,:: -Mirage**

**::What? We're battling it out here!:: -Sideswipe**

**::What is this...Christmas?:: -Mirage**

**::You don't know what Christmas is?!:: -Ellie and Leon**

**::No.:: -Twins and Mirage**

**::Perhaps you could explain it.:: -Mirage**

* * *

"Seriously. You don't know what Christmas is?" Leon looked surprised.

"Nope. Wanna explain it? Or can I go back to singing Friday?"

"Christmas is only the most celebrated human holiday on Earth."

"Yeah, but what the hell is it?" Sunstreaker asked, his voice coming over Sideswipe's radio.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year, filled with festivities and fun and candy and gingerbread houses and penguins and Santa and presents and toys and snuggling and snowmen and hot chocolate and gifts and giving and singing and Christmas trees and snowflakes and children and laughter and snow angels and happiness and love!"

"Why?"

"Because you have to be nice on Christmas, or you'll get coal in your stocking!" Leon scoffed. "Santa Claus is watching you, man."

"Somebody's watching us!? Where is he?!" Sideswipe roared.

"Santa Claus, spoiler alert, isn't actually real." Leon laughed. "Just search it up on the internet, and include me in any pranks you do over Christmas."

"Yes, ma'am! What's a snow angel?"

"Seriously! Stop right now, Sides. I'll show you and then we can make a snow man."

A few hours later, a drenched Leon, Sides and Sunny stood in a clearing filled with snowmen and giant snow angels.

* * *

"So, what is Christmas?" Mirage asked Ellie, who had her feet propped up on his dashboard as they overlooked the sunny ocean.

"It's a human holiday. We give each other gifts, to celebrate the Lord's son. I'm not religious, so I won't go into detail about the unimportant stuff."

"Ah, much appreciated." Mirage hummed, engine purring.

"Have I ever told you how sexy that accent is?"

"No. But I am a sexy mech."

"Sure. Anyway, Santa Claus, a big fat man in a red suit with a beard, brings kids presents if they're good. If they're not, they get a piece of coal in their stocking, which is like a big sock people put treats and little toys in. We give gifts to each other to each other, because it's tradition and shows how much we like each other."

"And what is mistletoe?" Mirage chuckled.

"You just searched it up on the Internet, didn't you?"

"Si."

"Asshole."

"Sexy asshole. Well?"

"Mistletoe is a plant, that, when you stand under it, if there's a bot or human of the opposite gender, you have to kiss them." Ellie sighed, arms crossed.

"Why?"

"I don't know everything, Mirage. Look it up."

* * *

"Lion, what are you doing?" Sunstreaker asked, his holoform fizzling into the driver's seat. Leon looked up, blinking her green eyes with a shit-eating grin.

"Plotting."

"And I'm not helping?! I'm offended!" Sunny pouted, making Leon roll her eyes.

"If you must know, I'm compiling a list of Autobots."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

"She's up to no good, isn't she?" Sideswipe asked over the radio. Leon stuck her tongue out at the silver mech. After the "Friday" incident, Leon refused to ride with Sideswipe.

"She was good to start with?" Sunstreaker laughed. "You need your optics checked."

"Does Jolt ever do any pranking?" Leon asked, scribbling down names on her paper.

"Yeah..."

"Thanks."

"I'm getting worried, bro. She's been writing an awful lot on that paper."

"You could ask what she's doing, you know?"

"She'll maul me. Lion hates me already." Sideswipe sighed dramatically.

"Drama mech. I'll tell you what I'm doing then."

And so began the plotting...


	22. Operation: Llamas

"_Fadeaway, this is Sundance. What's the status? Over._"

"_This is Fadeaway. Several civilians are still up. Over._"

"_This is Renegade. How many are there, Fadeaway? Over._"

"_Civilians Optimus Prime, Prowl, Ironhide, Chromia, and Ratchet are still within the rec room. Over._"

"_Scorecard and Redwood, this is Sundance. Initiate phase one. Over._"

"_Yes, ma'am. We're moving into position. Over._"

"_This is Trapline. The Big Red Button is ready and waiting. Over._"

"_Copy that, Trapline. This is Renegade. Press the BRB. Over._"

"_Pressing BRB. Over."_

* * *

"Excuse me, Ratchet?" Jolt stepped into the rec room, a frown on his facial plates. "I've just recieved a comm from Wheeljack. Apparently, one of his more dangerous chemicals has been leaking for a while into this room. He said it was best to evacuate. You shouldn't be harmed in anyway, but it's best if you leave now."

"Right. I'm gonna give Wheeljack a piece of my mind, and it's best if everyone else went to recharge. Especially you, Prime." Ratchet stood, storming out the door.

"Very well. Thank you, Jolt."

"It was no trouble, Optimus." Jolt smiled, watching as the mechs and Chromia left. Chromia gave him an odd look but left. The door slid closed and the assistant medic grinned.

"_Llamas this is Trapline. Rec room has been evacuated. Phase Two is complete. I repeat, phase Two is complete. Over._"

"_Rodger-dodger, Trapline. This is Renegade. Dusty and Dasher, phase Three is a go. I repeat phase Three is a go. Over."_

"_We's ready. Bringin' in the boxes. Over."_

"_Ma box is bigga. Over." _

"_Dasher, Dusty...This is Redwood. Shut up or I'll tell Sundance. Over."_

"_Double-D's. This is Sundance-"_

"_Slag."_

"_-You're only participating in this mission because we needed two more bots. Do as you are told. Over."_

"_Yes, Sundance. Over."_

"_Hurry up with those boxes. Over."_

"_Did anybody warn Riddler? Over."_

"_Oops. Sorry, Renegade."_

**::Trapline to Riddler. Civilian Ratchet headed your way:: -Trapline**

**::Ah, thank you. It would have been nice to know before he arrived, but it's alright. Good luck.:: -Wheel...Riddler**

"_Let's get going. Fistfight, this is Command. Let in the Fairies. Over."_

"_Rodger...that...ma'am! Over."_

"_I don't get why we're the Fairies. Why couldn't we be something like-"_

"_It was either the Fairies, or Paint-Thinner. Over."_

"_Yes, Fadeaway. Over."_

"_Hurry up. We've got a rogue bot. Civilian Prowl is on his way towards the rec room. Fistfight, cover Redwood and Scorecard! Phase Four is in jeopardy. Over."_

"_*jeoprady theme song*"_

"_Yeah. Now, shush. Over."_

* * *

Prowl had a bad feeling. And usually when he had a bad feeling, it was because of the Twins. Only this time, it was Jolt who set him off. Prowl was suspicious.

The Second-in-Command nodded to Bumblebee as he strode past, and then paused.

"Bumblebee,"

The yellow scout stiffened, and then turned, wiggling his door wings.

"I was unaware you had switched sentry duty with First Aid."

**::Fistfight, this is Fadeaway. I'm behind the civilian. Orders are to abduct him to headquarters.:: -Fadeaway**

**::Yes, Fadeaway.:: -Bumblebee**

* * *

"Hello, Prowl."

The SiC groaned, pushing himself upright. His optics moved around the room and were drawn to the two human femmes standing on his knees.

"Human curfew is midnight. According to my internal-" Prowl began, glaring slightly.

"Shut it, Prowlers." Leon snorted. "You're being recruited to our cause."

"That's not logical."

"It is." Ellie nodded, crossing her arms. "We have an officer bot, and there for it keeps us from getting in trouble."

"What exactly are you doing?" Prowl frowned, wanting more information.

"We're decorating the base for Christmas, which is in two days."

"Very well. As it will raise morale by seventy-three percent."

"Llamas, this is Sundance. Agent Searchlight has joined our cause. Over."

"Searchlight, your duty is to help the Double-D's." Ellie slid off his knee and pointed to the door.

"Double-D's?"

"The Tiny Twins. Hurry up. We have to stay here and decorate. Shoo."

* * *

"_This is Renegade, checking in. Over."_

"_This is Redwood. The Triangle has been set up. Fadeaway, Fistfight, and Scorecard are currently decorating the Triangle. Over."_

"_This is Riddler. Trapline and I are nearly finished with the hall lights. Over."_

"_This is Searchlight. Foliage is nearly complete. Double-D's are in the brig. Over."_

"_What did they do? Over"_

"_They failed to quit fighting. There for, as is my right and job, I put them in the brig. The mission was compromised. Over."_

"_Right. Over"_

"_This is Sundance. Secret Mission is operational. Completion is seventy-six percent. Over."_

"_Rodger. Redwood, Scorecard, stay out of trouble."_

"_Who us?! Nothing's gonna happen. Over."_

"_I'll keep an optic on them, Renegade. Over."_

"_Right. Fadeaway, brig them if they're causing trouble. Over."_

"_Rodger that. Over."_

* * *

Leon grinned, glancing over her shoulder once more before look back down at the screen she was sitting in front of. Once this finished loading, she could move on to Secret Mission Two.

The console pinged, and the mechanic fiddled with the computer a moment before leaving and locking the door behind her after resetting the codes for the door.

She stealthy made her way down the hall to the partially open hanger doors, and she slid the backpack on her shoulder to the ground. The empty hanger mocked her for a moment before the mechanic sealed off the large room, and turned the thermostats all the way down.

* * *

**Code Names:**

Group = Llamas

Leon = Sundance

Ellie = Renegade

Sunstreaker = Scorecard

Sideswipe = Redwood

Mudflap = Dusty

Skidz = Dasher

Mirage = Fadeaway

Jolt = Trapline

Bee = Fistfight

Wheeljack = Riddler

Prowl = Searchlight


	23. Secret Mission Time

Will yawned, stretching as he stepped out his room into the brightly lit hallway. Red, green and blue lights flashed across his hands, but the exhausted commander didn't notice as he strode towards the cafeteria, humming Deck the Halls under his breath.

"Morning, Will!" Epps called, grinning as the Santa Hat on his head bobbed.

Will gave a tired wave, blinking slowly as he filled his plate. It took him a moment to realize that everyone at the table was wearing Santa hats, and so was he.

"Why is-?" He trailed off.

"The Santa hats? Dunno where they came from. You seen Ellie or Leon?" Epps shoved his mouth full of hashbrowns.

"No. I'm still half asleep." Will shook his head.

"Found them." Fig pointed to the two women entering the cafeteria.

"LEON TAYLOR LENNOX! WHAT THE _HELL_ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Will bellowed, bolting to his feet.

Leon paused, planting her hands on her hips.

"Getting breakfast. Why?"

"What are you WEARING!?" Will growled, his expression mirrored by Epps.

Leon glanced down.

"This? I bought it in Norway, when Prowl and Optimus sent me and the Twins." She shrugged.

Will's eyes narrowed, and he glared at the outfit she was wearing.

Her top was a green midriff tube-top with white fluff on both the strapless top and the bottom. The shorts she wore were tiny, and were over a pair of fishnets. The belt around her waist was covered in bells, and her shoes were ankle high, green stiletto boots with more gold bells. Her hair was curled and held away from her face by a gold ribbon.

Ellie's outfit wasn't much better.

The mocha woman was dressed in a red mini-dress with a white mesh tutu. The belt under her bosom was black, and a pair of over the knee white furry boots had appeared on her feet. Ellie's hair was pulled back in a mess of ringlets, and a striped Santa Hat sat on her head.

"Festive, aren't they?" Ellie chirped, grinning while she filled her plate with red and green pancakes.

"Men have no taste." Leon chuckled, striding towards them.

"As soon as you're finished your breakfast, both of you are changing." Will growled.

"Thank you for the offer." Leon mumbled through her toast. "But no thanks. I'm too lazy."

"And I spent half-an-hour doing her hair."

"What's with the music?" Epps suddenly frowned, tilting his head.

Sure enough, Christmas carols were playing over the loud speakers.

"And when did we get a Christmas tree? And who hung decorations and lights?!" Will did a three-sixty as he took in the changes.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells. Jingle all the way." Leon cackled, leaving her half finished breakfast on the table as she raced away.

"Why do I have the feeling it was those two?" Epps growled as Ellie chased after her friend.

"It couldn't have been."

* * *

When Optimus walked into his office that morning, he stopped dead.

He was quite sure when he left the night before, his office definably was not blue, or covered in snowflakes.

His chair, his desk, his data pads, his styluses, his garbage; all of it was wrapped in snowflake covered blue wrapping paper. Everything, including the walls, were wrapped.

The custom painted Peterbilt strode forward, watching where he placed his feet and swatting away the paper snowflakes dangling from the rafters.

Whoever had done this had gone to a lot of work doing it.

He chuckled, prodded the well wrapped chair, before settling into it. The paper crinkled and ripped a little.

Optimus made sure to take a picture and store it in his memory banks before going to work.

"_Renegade, this is Sundance. Secret Mission: Wrapping Paper is successful. Over._"

"_Rodger. Check on the other Secret Missions. Over._"

"_Sure thing. Over._"

He lifted his optics, a smile on his face as he shook his head. It was best to just let them play.

* * *

Leon whistled to the tune of whatever carol was playing over the speakers, watching as Ironhide warmed up his cannons. A smirk crossed her face as he took aim.

The mechanic grinned, watching as he sighted down the barrel and fired. Leon whipped out her phone and captured the look on Ironhide's face as he stared at the white confetti that was fluttering through the air.

"What the frag?!" He roared, peering into the cannon with a scowl.

"What was that? Let's see the other one!" Leon cheered, hiding her phone from his view. Ironhide nodded, and fired his other cannon, only to receive anoter large blast of "snow".

Leon pressed the comm hidden under her curls.

"_Fistfight, this is Sundance. Flick the switch, over._"

"_Flicking! Over!_"

Ironhide looked up when he heard a loud creak and he snarled as he was suddenly doused in white paint.

"_Renegade, this is Sundance. Secret Mission: Snow Miser is operational. Over."_

"_Right. I'm activating the playback. Over."_

"Gosh, 'Hide." Leon faked concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm white."

"Yeah..."

"I'm..." Ironhide made a funny face and his cannons fired up by themselves. "Mister White Christmas. I'm Mister Snow. I'm Mister Icicle. I'm Mister Ten Below! Friends call me Snow Miser. Whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much!"

"He's Mister White Christmas." Leon chortled, jumping down from her perch on Larry the once-engineless jeep. "He's Mister Snow."

"That's right!"

"Bye-bye, Hide! Have fun!" Leon cackled as she sped out of the training room in Larry. "_Renegade, Secret Mission: Snow Miser is complete._"

* * *

Sidz and Mudflap peered at Ratchet, who was grumbling in his office with the door open. The green Twin hopped down from the berth they were seated on to open the door a crack. Leon appeared, and she grinned as Ratchet suddenly fell to the floor.

"So, we's get to see you's graffiti skill!?"The red Twin grinned.

"Right. Fadeaway, keep watch." Leon moved towards Ratchet.

"Yes, ma'am." Mirage's voice floated by and the door opened and closed.

**-';-;'-**

Ratchet woke with a groan, rubbing his helm with his hand as he sat up.

"What am I doing on the floor?" He asked, pushing himself up and then he froze.

His bright green paint was not green.

In fact, it was red. Red, with a black belt, and black pedes, and there was some big white fuzzy thing attached to his face.

The medic moved over to the mirror in his berth room, and his optics flashed angrily.

Staring back at him was a Cybertronian version of the human's Santa Claus.

"SKIDZ! MUDFLAP!" The medic roared, storming for the door.

"_Renegade, this is Sundance. Seceret Mission: Hatchet Claws was successful."_

"_Rodger that. I've warned the Tiny Twins and they're hiding in the brig. Which I find stupid..."_

"_Oh well."_

* * *

Will strode down the hallway, keeping an eye out for his niece. He was so concentrated, that he ran into Prowl's leg.

Prowl was just standing there, arms crossed and legs spread apart. His door wings were held at sharp angles, indicating that the SIC was serious.

"Hello, Prowl." Will craned his neck back. "Why are you standing in the middle of the hallway?"

"My apologies, Major Lennox." Prowl glanced down. "I cannot allow you to pass into this corridor."

"Why?"

"There seems to be a leak from Wheeljack's lab. It has seeped through the vents and into this area. I am awaiting the arrival of another bot, preferably Ratchet or Wheeljack. You will have to take another route until the leak has been contained."

"Right. Okay..." Will turned around and made his way to the intersection he'd seen last. He cast a confused look at Prowl, who hadn't moved, before Lennox continued down the new hallway.

Prowl lifted a hand to his helm, poking his head into the hanger behind him.

"_Renegade, Sundance, this is Searchlight. Secret Mission: Ice was successfully hidden. Civilian Bootstrap was directed down another hall."_

"_Rodger that, Searchlight. Good job."_

* * *

"_This is Optimus Prime." _

The humans and bots alike turned their attention to the PA system with looks of confusion.

"_Please meet within the human cafeteria and Autobot rec room in a breem. Thank you._"

"What's that about?" Arcee frowned, subspacing her blaster. Chromia shrugged, following her sister out the door.

"We'll find out, won't we?"

A breem later, the humans and the bots had gather in their respective places. Leon was waiting on the table in the middle of the rec room, and Ellie stood on one of the cafeteria tables. Each held data pads in their hands, and sly smirks.

"What's this meeting about?"

"Secret Santa!" Leon cheered.

"What?"

"You get a random name, and you have to get the a present for Christmas. Secretly. Like a ninja."

"What's Christmas?" Arcee asked.

"Search it on the internet. Now, I'm gonna call you forth one at a time, and you're gonna get a name off the data pad by touching the screen. It will randomly select it from the data banks, and you'd better remember who it is, cause I know I won't. Ellie is doing the same thing over on the human side."

"Where's Prime?" Ratchet growled, still painted. Leon blinked at him, and then grinned.

"Prime is busy, Hatchet Claws."

"It was _you_!"

"What? What did I do? I'm organizing a Secret Santa. I couldn't have done anything else. Do you know how much work that takes?!" Leon gasped, pressing a hand to her bosom.

"Leave her alone, Ratch." Sides grinned. "Your new look suits the holiday."

Ratchet growled, and had to be held back. Sideswipe stepped forward to receive his Secret Santa...victim.

* * *

**Optimus Prime; Secret Mission: Wrapping Paper**

**Ironhide; Secret Mission: Snow Miser**

**Ratchet; Secret Mission: Hatchet Claws**

**Humans; Secret Mission: Ice**

**Everyone; Secret Santa**


	24. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

The base was completely quiet. The sun peeked over the horizon. Silences cannot go uninterrupted forever, though.

"WAKE UP!" Simultaneously, Epps and Will bolted up right and were suddenly on the floor, staring up at their best friend's niece. "IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

The two girls grinned at each other as they dragged the half asleep men out in their boxers, which hadn't improved since last time. Ellie and Leon turned to the door across the hall and kicked it open.

"FIG!"

He was upright instantly grinning at them as he threw himself out of bed.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" The three screamed at each other before racing to give rude awakenings to the other soldiers and their three guests, Sam and his parents, Judy and Ron. They'd showed up yesterday claiming they were there for Christmas and filled the base with loud exclamations.

Luckily, Ellie and Leon had been given enough warning that the two were included in their secret Santa.

The two young women practically skipped over to the Autobot side, where they shared grins and pulled air-horns from out of nowhere. The two women stepped in and pressed down on the buttons.

Ironhide was up in two seconds flat, cannons aimed at the noisy devices.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, 'HIDE!" They yelled over the blasting noise. The weapons specialist glared and he straightened, before finding the nearest wall and slamming his head against it.

Optimus chuckled good naturedly as he subspaced his own guns.

"Merry Christmas, Boss bot!" Leon waved as she raced out the door, heading for the cafeteria.

* * *

By seven (Leon, Ellie, and Fig had started their rounds at six), all of the bots and humans were gathered in a loose circle in the rec room.

Will and Epps were seated on Ironhide's leg in the corner, Graham and Fig were sitting on his foot, Ellie was seated on Mirage, and Leon was sitting quite happily on Sideswipe's shoulder. The other bots were scattered throughout the room, as were the soldiers.

"Let's exchange presents!" Leon cheered. "Sunny gets to go first!"

"Don't call me that!" He grumbled. The golden mech subspaced a large box of washing detergent and slid it over to Graham. "I heard you complaining the other day about people stealing yours. Here."

"Thank you, Sunstreaker." The British man smiled, and then crossed the room to First Aid. The MIT smiled and carefully opened the wrapped present. A pair of red fuzzy dice with medical crosses on them appeared and the two laughed.

First Aid turned to Ironhide, smirking as he handed the weapons specialist a pair of cards. The black mech looked at them curiously before subspacing them.

"I've always wanted some of these." He chuckled, and then turned to Anthony. The man received a very nice bazooka, and gifted Jolt with a card for a free wash.

Jolt, in turn, handed Fig a box very carefully.

"Don't shake it." The blue mech warned as Fig gave him a curious look, before opening his gift.

"PIE!" Fig lifted the fork in the box and shovelled a spoonful right from the middle. "Alligator pie! Just like my Mama makes!"

"I phoned your mother and asked for the recipe."

"Ain't my Mama great!?" Fig grinned, placing the pie box aside to run over to the corner. Will stood to help move the enormous slab, and carry it over to Mudflap, who's blue optics widened.

"Whoa, man!" The red Tiny Twin stared and then promptly ripped the wrapping paper off. "Yeah! Leon, you finally did it!"

Leon glanced up from where she was rubbing paint off her arm.

"Fig convinced me. Merry Christmas." She grinned, and then went back to scrubbing her arms. Mudflap turned the large board around. The Autobots blinked while Fig and Leon shared grins.

The board depicted an amazing city view, taken from the street level. The spires and towers were made of shining silver metal and crystal willows dotted along the street. The graffiti was more like art, and was three-dimensional. Glimmering multicoloured lights dotted the street, casting pools of colour along the road. Shop fronts proclaimed their wares, but where closed for the night and two moons hovered in the sky.

"Where is that? It's amazing." Lennox leaned forward.

"That's Cybertron." Ironhide's voice was thick and the other Autobots were silent.

"Now look what you've done, femme!" Ratchet threw up his arms. "You've made them cry!"

"I didn't mean to!" Leon yelled.

"Lion," Sunny leaned forward to look at the tiny human on his twin's shoulder. "How did you know what Cybertron looks like?"

"Uh...I've been listening in on the conversations Ironhide's been having. I kind of winged it. It's okay, right?"

"This looks exactly like Cybertron." Jolt leaned forward to look at Mudflap's gift.

"EPPS!" The red twin bellowed, and threw a bundle of dark blue material at the black man, who was knocked flat. "Think fast! Like a ninja!"

The look on his face when he held up the ninja suit was priceless.

"Nin-nin!" The Sargent yelled. Epps turned to the Asian man next to him. "Lau, have some Christmas sushi."

"Dude, I'm Korean." Lau shook his head. "I'll eat it while on patrol with Larry later. I'm so glad Leon finally got him fixed."

"Yo! Witwicky!" All three of the Witwickys looked over. "Sam, here."

A book slid across the rec room and Sam lifted it.

"_Ways Not To Die For Dummies, by NEST._" Sam shook his head with a grin. "Nice guys. Very nice. Leon,"

The mechanic blinked down at him, grinning, and was lowered to the ground.

"I've got a cousin in England. Next time your around there, head to the tattoo parlour called Templar Tattoos. Ask for PJ. Tell her I sent you."

"Free tattoo? Nice!" Leon pumped her fist and then strode to stand before Optimus. "Optimus Prime, Merry Christmas. My gift to you is what we humans call a spa day. Just lemme know when you want a day off!"

Leon winked and skipped back to Sides, who lifted her back onto his shoulder.

"Thank you, Leon." The Prime gave a half bow and then looked at Wheeljack. "Wheeljack, you will find a building about half a breem from here. That is your lab, and I have tested it's resistance to explosions."

"New lab! Ah, I thank you, Optimus! I'll have a look at it later." The scientist grinned, and slid a small box to Bumblebee, who chirped and opened it before his optics went wide and he subspaced the gift.

The yellow scout shifted a moment and then blinked at Chromia, who blinked back. He handed her a large square shaped present, wrapped in snowflake wrapping paper, and rubbed his arm.

The paper was on the floor in seconds and Chromia lifted a shaking hand to her mouth. The blue femme scooted closer to Ironhide, who leaned over her to look. His optics went wide and he smiled.

"Oh, Bee. This is beautiful!" Chromia smiled, showing it to the bot next to her.

"See Bee. I told you she'd like it!" Sam grinned, pumping his fist. Bee nodded.

"Thank you, Bumble. This is the sweetest gift anyone has gotten me in vorns. I'll treasure the memories forever."

"What did he make her?" Ellie climbed rather rudely from Mirage's leg to Wheeljack's, who lowered the book so she could see. "Is that Bee as a baby!? He's so cute! It's a photo album!"

"I have something similar for you, Prowl." The blue femme handed the SIC a data pad which he flipped through with large optics.

"Thank you, Chromia. I'd forgotten half of these moments." Bumblebee peered over his shoulder and pointed at one of the pictures one the data pad, beeping something at the other mech, who nodded.

Prowl glanced down at Judy, and nodded.

"My gift to you is an update on Samuel every week." Judy grinned, eye lighting up before she turned to Ellie, and tossed her a tin.

"What is _this_?" Ellie asked with a grin, prying the top of the container. "OOOOOHHHH! BROWNIES!"

The mocha woman promptly stuffed five in her mouth and swallowed. How she did it without choking was beyond the humans mental capacity, and some just _didn't_ want to know.

"I was listening to Bob Marley while I made those." Judy pointed, tucking a bunch of hair behind her ear and adjusting her Santa hat.

"Oh no! TAKE COVER!" Leon screeched, leaping off of Sideswipe. He yelped, snatching the flying femme from the air and bringing her to his chest.

"What are you _doing!?_" He scolded.

"_Trying _to take cover. You're not helping." She glared, planting her hands on her hips. Sideswipe stared down at her.

"You're an idiot." He shook his helm, and his chest plates slid open before he shoved her in and snapped them closed, all in one smooth movement that no one caught because they were too busy staring in horror at Ellie.

"_HEY_! LEMME OUT! Oh, wait! _Shiny_!"

"_Don't_ touch that. It's _sensitive_." The silver mech hissed, clenching his hands. Sunstreaker gave him a weird look.

"What the frag are you doing?" The golden mech asked.

"Hiding Leon."

"Why?"

"Cause she wanted to take cover."

"Where did you put her, Sides?"

"Um...No where..."

"_Sides_..."

"Um..."

"_Sideswipe_."

"In my spark chamber."

"If she offlines you, it's not my fault."

"Why is she so scared of Ellie?" Mirage leaned over. "And what is the problem with the deceased singer Bob Marley?"

"Weed brownies!" Judy cheered.

"Weed-"

"Brownies?" The three mechs' optics dimmed and then widened in horror. "Exile her!"

"It shouldn't affect her for another few minutes." Leon announced from inside Sideswipe.

"Hey," Lennox looked around. "Wasn't Leon just here?"

"Uh...Who?" Mirage scratched his helm. Sideswipe turned around.

"Oh, Leon! Where are you!?" He drew her out of his spark chamber and got a glare.

"It was warm in there, you know." She pouted.

"Sorry."

"_OH! UNCLE WILL!_" Ellie giggled, earning strange looks. "Hey, hey! Uncle Will! I have these for you!"

She threw him a rather large bottle with interestingly good aim, as it nailed him in the balls. Three seconds later handcuffs nailed him in the head.

"Ellie, what the _hell_ is this?"

"SAFETY PRECAUTIONS!"

"For what?"

"When you take Leon on field trips on the plane, duh!" She snorted, crossing her arms, before she ran off, laughing her head off.

"Is it just me, or does anyone else not know what just happened?" Fig frowned, staring as the mocha woman ran into the wall and then got back up, only to run into the door.

"Anyway..." Lennox placed his "gift" to the side, and pulled out his phone. Sideswipe straightened seconds later and grinned, leaning over to whisper to Sunstreaker who also grinned.

"I'm not going to ask." Ironhide shook his head and crossed his arms.

Sideswipe turned to Mirage. The red Ferrari looked disturbed for a moment, until Sideswipe dumped a few things into his servos.

He gazed down at the tiny hula dancer, pair of red fuzzy dice, and the lemon shaped air freshener, before glaring at the smirking twin.

"Thanks." Mirage snorted, subspacing it all to throw it away later.

"Now we can smell when you're coming!"

"Riiiight."

Mirage looked distinctly unimpressed for several moments before he kneeled before Ron, who hesitantly stared up at the cherry red mech.

"I realize that we know nearly next to nothing about one another, Ronald Witwicky..." Mirage began, shuttered his optics as if to steel himself, "But I cannot help but hear about _several_ horror stories about your pathway at your residence meeting _tragic_ ends. I have asked Lennox if it would be possible to rebuild your pathway at no cost to you or your spouse."

Ron's face lit up. Literally, as Sunny found a loose ornament lying near his pedes and held it up to further examine it.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He grabbed Mirage's extended finger and shook it vigorously.

"HEY LOOK! PINK PAINT!" Ellie screeched from beside Ron, who jumped nearly ten feet in the air.

"GAH! When did you get there!?" Ron yelped, grabbing the paint from her.

"IS THAT FOR ARCEE! IS IT!? IS IT!?"

"Ellie, tone it down."

"Yes, sir...ma'am...ma'am!" Ellie saluted towards Leon before running off again. Judy watched, smirking. Ron handed the large bucket of paint to the pink femme near him and she nodded in gratitude before looking at Skidz.

"Skidz, I promise not to boot you halfway across base for waking me up at stupidly early joors in the morning for the next week."

"Ooh! We'd better get to work!" The green twin clapped his servos.

"The promise is you alone." She warned. Mudflap pouted.

"Yo, yo! Hatchet Claus!" Ratchet growled a warning at the excited green Tiny Twin. "Here! I got 'em just fo you!"

Skidz dumped a brand new set of wrenches into Ratchet's servo. The medic stared at them a moment before eyeing all the mechs in the room as though they might try to steal them.

"Sunstreaker," The golden mech flinched as he stared at Ratchet. "I promise not to beat you with your arms should you come in and they've been torn off again while you were fighting."

"WAHAHAHAHOOO!" Leon looked up at Ellie, who was perched on Optimus's head. "WHAT'S FOR DINNER!? I'M HUUUUUNGRY!"

* * *

Several hours of Ellie running around the base like a maniac later, she had finally been thrown into the brig and where she was left without her brownies so the effects of the weed could wear off.

Leon was sitting in her hanger when a convoy of pissed off mechs rolled in. She stared a moment and then burst into laughter, falling off the table onto the floor.

"What the _hell_...happened to you?!" She laughed, staring at the pink decorating Mirage, Sides, Sunny, Bee, and Optimus.

"Ellie."

"She escaped?" Leon raised a brow, pulling herself up from the floor before snickering again.

"Obviously." Sunstreaker growled.

"Prowl is currently keeping an optic on her, down in the brig." Optimus assured.

"You think _that's _gonna help? Prowl has a glitch remember?"

"Frag." Mirage cursed.

"I've just sent Ironhide, Chromia and Arcee to help him." The Peterbilt sighed, and he rolled into his usual spot. "Do you think you could assist in getting this pink off of our armour?"

"Sure. I don't have anything better to do." Leon shrugged and went for the hose and soap.

* * *

Leon hummed along with the music blaring through the surround sound in her hangar, scrubbing through the paint that had mainly hit Mirage's cherry red.

"What did I do?" He grumbled, and Leon snorted.

"Didja catch her?"

"Si."

"That's what you did."

"Oh. I see."

Leon sprayed him with the hose before beginning her scrubbing again.

"I may know a way to get back at her." She grinned evilly. "If, of course, you're interested?"

"Si! Si! Tell me!" He wiggled.

"Well, the next holiday is the thirty-first of December, New Years. And for some people, like Ellie, it's tradition to give the person you like the first kiss of the year. It shows that you love them. You have a holoform, so kiss her on New Year's Day."

"And that will work?" Mirage questioned as the last of the pink flaked off.

"It should put her in a bit of a daze for a while. And if you actually like her like that, it'll help your relationship. Not that I should be giving relationship advice, cause I haven't had a boyfriend since Primus knows how long."

"Grazie." Mirage revved his engine, and allowed himself a mental smirk as he peeled out of her hangar.

Sideswipe wiggled as she approached, spraying his silver paint with cold water, deep in thought.


	25. New Years Kiss

Since Christmas, Ellie hadn't been seen very much. Leon promised very one that she was just sleeping and that the mechanic had confiscated the brownies for target practice.

Leon spent the next few days with Wheeljack, doing what nobody had any idea or wanted to know. However, when they appeared together on at the Lagoon every human and most bots went running for cover. Ironhide was the only one to stay.

As dusk fell on the last day in December, Ellie appeared. She was dressed in a pair of brown capris' and a dark green plaid vest over a yellow halter top. Her shoes matched her vest and the yellow belt around her waist matched her shirt.

From behind her emerged a smug looking Leon.

Bee blinked at them as he passed and gave a questioning beep.

"I got her up _and_ dressed _and_ _showered_, Bee!" Leon pumped her fist.

Bee nodded.

"Of course, she made me wear this to get back at me," Leon pouted. "But my goal was accomplished!"

Bumblebee pointed to himself and then at her. Leon looked down.

"Hey! I do look like you!?" She grinned, pointing to her sleeveless black turtleneck, orange and yellow skirt, yellow heeled boots and the matching yellow headband.

"**Heeeeeey, sexy ladies! Cause you're amazing, just the way you are!**" Ellie snickered and then fell against the wall as laughter took over.

* * *

Mirage only knew where Ellie was due to the fact that Leon was being rather loud about her outfit. She was wearing a skirt, which in itself was amazing, considering he had to bribe her to wear the fragging dress in Italy.

"**Heeeeeey, sexy ladies!**"

"Yes, Bee. We know we're sexy. Well, I know I'm sexy, not to sure about Ellie. She's sulking still." Leon pointed at Ellie, who was seated on a random log out of the way.

The cherry red mech grinned, pulling up behind the object of his fascination before materializing his holoform.

"Ellie, why are you sitting here all alone?" He leaned over her shoulder and grinned as she shrieked.

"Oh Lord Jesus. Do _not _do that, Mirage!" She pressed a hand to her bosom as though to calm her frantically beating heart. She smirked at Mirage's concerned look. "Just kidding."

"Miss Lennox!" Leon moved her gaze from Mirage and Ellie to Wheeljack, who was gesturing her over. "I need your help."

"Coming." She called, moving carefully through the sand in her heels. Of course, being Leon, she managed to snag one of her heels on _something_.

"Lion!" Sideswipe yelped, catching her. Leon blinked, wondering why she hadn't face planted into the sand like she expected. "You okay?"

"Sides?" She raised a brow at how close they were. "You can put me down now."

He grinned an shook his head, carrying her easily over to Wheeljack.

"Can't have you falling again."

"You realize I could just take off the shoes right?" Leon asked, dangling her feet off his servo. Sideswipe placed her down on the ground before rolling off to chat with Sunstreaker.

"I cannot remember," Wheeljack began, holding out a handful of rockets. "Where we wanted the green ones."

Leon sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"The green ones alternate with the red and silver ones."

"Oh! Right!"

* * *

"So..." Ellie coughed, feeling a little awkward next to the elegant mech sitting right. Freaking. Beside her.

She had to admit, Mirage was definitely an aristocrat. If his smooth accent and mannerisms didn't give him away, his well kept appearance did, no matter how casually he happened to be dressed. It was almost like an aura that he gave off, and although Ellie hadn't actually seen too much of the 'theatrical side' as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe called it, she could tell it was there.

"Is there something you would like to ask me?" Mirage asked, amusement clear in his tone.

"Uhhh..." yeah, that was her ever intelligent reply. _Great one, Ellie. _

Mirage raised a brow at her, his bright blue eyes seeming to convey his amusement at her predicament. Resisting the urge to growl at the mech, she huffed instead, crossing her arms and slouching.

That wrought a laugh from Mirage, and almost against her will, Ellie found herself drawn in by it.

"Is there something on your mind?" he asked softly once he had gotten control of his chuckles.

"Tons." she retorted absently before clapping her hands over her mouth in shock. Oh GOD, she had just-

"Shit. Sorry, Mirage." she apologized quickly, hoping she hadn't offended him. "I didn't mean to say that- it's just...I haven't really actually-"

"It is fine." the mech replied, drawing Ellie's attention once again past the functioning point.

Mirage had to be at least six feet tall, she noted, and his hair was long and sleek, with a red tint to the strands. His facial structure was totally leaning towards an Italian build, too, now that she looked closer. And his clothes..God. They suited him perfectly. He was wearing a maroon scarf over a simple black dress shirt and a leather jacket, while he wore blue jeans and boots on his lower half.

"You look good." she blurted out again before mentally punching herself. Really? She was turning into some kind of fawning idiot by a freaking talking sentient alien life form. A really fucking _sexy_ talking sentient alien life form, but still.

An easy smile stretched across Mirage's face, revealing white teeth for a moment.

"I believe I could say the same about yourself, Elina. You look lovely."

Oh, there was that damned blush. "I do not." she muttered.

She knew he was looking at her oddly, she just knew it. "I do not see how." he replied.

Ellie turned to face Mirage, knowing her cheeks were probably rivalling his cherry red paint-job, but the guy deserved to know _why _she was suddenly acting so odd.

"You don't need to compliment me." she muttered. "I'm not _that_ pretty."

Ducking her head, Ellie was startled when a surprisingly gentle hand tilted her head back up, eyes meeting Mirage's own.

"Tell me what is wrong." he asked softly, as if trying to sooth a startled animal. Automatically, Ellie did just that, relaxing into his hold. Slowly, she leaned into the warmth he offered, her eyes half lidded as Mirage's other hand began rubbing circles in between her shoulder blades.

Mirage pondered what was bothering the mocha skinned woman slowly, wondering why she wasn't answering, when Leon's rather loud indignant screech effectively ruined the moment.

"WHEELJACK, I FRAGGING TOLD YOU THAT THEY ALTERNATE! WHY ARE THEY NOT ALTERNATING!?"

Ellie darted back up, eyes honing in on Leon, who was a rather fearsome sight, considering that she was in a neon skirt and the fact that Wheeljack was easily twenty feet taller than her, yet was cringing like she was Megatron himself.

Ellie smiled despite her darker thoughts, straightening up and shaking her head. "That's Leon for you." she laughed quietly.

"She is...interesting." Mirage agreed.

"AGH!"

Mirage turned around faster than Ellie would have given him credit for, and looked tempted to hurt the two front-liner twins, who had _somehow_, _magically_ managed to trip over his alt-mode.

"And _what_, exactly do you two think you're doing?" Mirage asked calmly, though Ellie had been around Leon long enough to know that they were about to get one hell of a chewing out.

"Uhhhhh...nothing?" Sides tried.

"I _told_ you he'd know we were here." Sunny rolled his optics. "And I was right. _Again_."

"Aw, shut up Sunny." Sides grumbled as he pulled himself from the ground, examining the scratches he'd received from his sudden tumble.

"Oh, I don't think so." the yellow mech replied, looking quite smug.

"SUNNY! SIDES! WHERE THE FRAG ARE YOU TWO!?" Ironhide bellowed. "COME CONTROL YOUR FRAGGING FEMME!"

"I AM _NOT_ THEIR FRAGGING FEMME! I DON'T BELONG TO ANYONE! EVEN IF THEY _ARE_ SEXY ROBOT CARS!"

"I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!" Sides whined. Sunny just looked grumpy with the entire situation. "Wait. _Why_ do I have a problem with this? She just called me sexy!"

"Pit if I know." Sunny retorted before grabbing Sides' scruff and hauling him off. "Now hurry up before she offlines Wheeljack."

"How would that be a bad thing? Sure, he's a nice bot, but he almost blew us up! A _lot_!"

Mirage snorted, turning back to Ellie, who had by now zoned out and was staring at the waves of the lagoon.

_Damn. I missed my chance._ He silently cursed the twins, sending them a dark glare as they attempted to calm down a raging Leon, who looked about ready to go on the warpath if one more person or bot got on her bad side. _But at least they are receiving punishment. _

Now he would have to wait for midnight.

* * *

Leon glared at the sand as she lit a fuse for a line of fireworks, stepping back before her skirt caught on fire. Wheeljack was so frustrating. He meant good, she knew he did. It was not his fault, it wasn't her's either. It was the damned hormones.

It was not _her_ fault she was fragging PMS-ing. And Primus, was she PMSing bad this time.

Her eyes narrowed again, ignoring the large booms and the shouts of awe from NEST behind her and she glanced at Wheeljack's holoform as he lit off the next string.

Jackie was tall with messy black hair, a goatee, a mint green shirt and black slacks beneath a white lab coat. And his eyes were the standard Autobot blue.

She lit her next fuse, and grumbled quietly, ignoring her sore throat. It had been a while since she'd yelled like that.

Her green eyes slid sideways, searching for Mirage and Ellie. She smirked when she saw them. Mirage had his arm around her shoulder, and Ellie was curled into him, nearly asleep.

She grinned, and tapped her wrist at him. Mirage facepalmed, and Leon lit off one of the large fireworks.

The Autobot symbol exploded against the sky and she snorted. Wheeljack's firework depicted the Prime among them, standing like a hero.

The next was the Cube, and it changed slowly into the Matrix.

Leon flicked her lighter on the last string, standing back as the sky went dark.

The fireworks flew into the air and exploded one at a time.

_Five. _

_Four._

_Three. _

_Two. _

_One..._

_HAPPY NEW YEAR!_

Leon glanced over at Mirage, and nodded in satisfaction as he closed the distance between his mouth and Ellie's.

"Happy New Year, Lion!" The brunette turned her head and saw Sides and Sunny's holoforms for split second before they were in her face, pressing their own kiss to her lips.

She blinked, eyes wide and then grinned, slinging her arms over their shoulders.

"Happy New Years, boys!"

* * *

**Hey guys, guess what the next chapter has!**

**PLOT!**


	26. Kidnapped

"We're going for a drive." Leon kicked in Will's door, only to find he wasn't there. She shrugged, and then continued down the hall to meet Ellie in the small Autobot hanger.

"Yo!" She grinned as she strode in. "Mudflap, Skidz!"

The Tiny Twins looked up from where they were playing rock-paper-scissors.

"Lion!" They yelled, wrestling forward and crouching at her height.

"So, I have this really great idea." Leon's grin grew wider. "You, me, and Ellie. Race around the island."

"Race?" Ellie snorted as she strode in behind her best friend. "Come on, Mudflap. We'll kick their puny asses."

She threw herself into the red car, and Leon slid into Skidz.

"On your marks, get set-" Ellie paused. Leon slammed her foot on the gas.

"Go!"

"You cheated! No fair!" Mudflap yelled over the comm.

"Life's not fair!" Leon laughed.

* * *

"Optimus!" Sideswipe burst into the Autobot commander's personal quarters.

"Sideswipe," The Prime glanced up from his data pad. "What can I help you with? And please, knock before you come in, or comm me."

"Leon and Ellie are gone!" Sunstreaker yelled from behind his brother.

Optimus froze.

"Pardon?"

"Our femme-" Sideswipe punched his brother to shut him up.

"Lion and Ellie are gone!" The silver mech yelled again.

"Would you mind explaining what happened?" The blue-and-red custom painted mech lifted an optic ridge, placing the data pad down.

"Neither of us know!" The twins wailed, obviously distressed. "We were passing the Med-bay when the other twins said it!"

Optimus stood, striding through his door and towards the med bay at a brisk pace. The mechanic and human CMO were important to many people and Autobots.

"What happened?" He demanded as he entered.

Skidz looked up, hand latched onto his brother's and optics filled with windshield solution.

"We was racin'," The green bot sniffled. "Me and Lion against Mudflap and Ellie. Lion and me was winning, yo. And outta nowhere, there's this cannon fire."

He made motions with his dented and battered hands.

"Me n' Mudflap, we tried ta stop 'em, but they's was too much. Starscream took the girls, him and Swindle."

"We tried ta stop 'em." Mudflap groaned from his spot on the examining table, one of his optics shuttering and the other offlined completely. "But we's not strong enough. They took 'em! They took them both!"

"Mudflap, calm down." Ratchet demanded.

"No!" He protested, lurching to his feet. "Swindle and Starscream took them! We've gotta get em back! It's all our fault!"

The red bot continued talking, babbling on. Bright blue Energon poured from the large rip in his stomach, and more spewed from his mouth.

Skidz tried to get his brother to sit down, calm down, stop _moving_, but he was just pushed away.

"I's gotta get them back! I's gotta! I'm...I've..." He wobbled. "Ellie...Shorty, I's sorry."

He teetered, and then his optics offlined completely. Skidz froze, staring in horror as his brother folded in on himself.

"Mudflap! Bro!" Skidz clawed at his brother's paint. Sideswipe shifted closer to his own twin. "Naw, man! This is some prank! Bro, you _gotta_ get up."

* * *

Ellie didn't know where she was, except that she was not at the base and it was _really_ dark. She couldn't see her hand about a centimetre from her face.

Ellie winced, something in her left arm cracking as she shifted, wrapping her uninjured right arm around her legs and pressing herself into the corner.

Tears gathered in her eyes, sliding down her face and leaving tracks through dirt that she could feel.

"I want my mom." She whimpered, sobbing freely. An ungodly shriek came from somewhere to her right, and Ellie fell silent, listening as hard as she could.

"-fragging glitch! Knock Out, restrain her!"

"Don't touch me, you fragging Decepticreeps!" That was Leon. Ellie's dark green eyes widened. "I know ninety-eight ways to kill you with a screwdriver! Don't _touch_ me!"

There was a loud clang, and then a curse before everything went silent again.

"Lemme go! I'll kill you!" Leon yelled, her voice muffled by whatever was separating them. "I'll tear off your legs and stick them on your head!"

"That's not possible. Shut her up." There was a clanging sound and everything went silent again.

Ellie wavered, pain licking up her arm. Her eyes slid closed and everything vanished.

* * *

The mocha-skinned woman didn't know how long she's been where she was. Days? Weeks, months?

"I miss Ratchet." She muttered, slumped against the ground.

"Did I hear some one say _Ratchet!?_"

"Who's there!? I know kung-fu and twenty other dangerous words!" Ellie screamed.

"Only twenty, Ellie?" Leon's voice came from somewhere to her right. "I know forty-five!"

"And I know three thousand eight hundred ninety one. Will you shut the frag up now?"

"_SUNNY!?_"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! AND _WHO_ THE _FRAG_ ARE YOU!?"

"What do you mean 'who the frag am I'?" Leon screeched. "You and Sides kissed me four days ago, idiot!"

"Sides!? Where is he!? Is he alright?" Sunstreaker's optics lit up the darkness, and he made a face at what he saw. "Ew. You're squishies."

"Got a problem with that?! We're squishies with more mobility than you! We could lick you, ya know!" Ellie got a devilish gleam in her eyes and licked her hand before dragging it down the mech's chipped and scratched paint.

"Ew!"

"Ellie, if you're going to do that, do it right." Leon snorted, and then dragged her tongue on his paint.

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" Chains rattled as Sunstreaker attempted to move away.

"You three! Shut up!" A light suddenly blinded the three prisoners.

"Leon! Leon! I'm seeing a light!" Ellie shrieked. "Should I go towards it!? Am I dead!?"

"I dunno. Hang on." Leon drew her foot back and kicked her friend in the shin.

"OW!" Ellie whimpered. "Nope. Not dead."

"You," They turned towards the voice and blinked at the red optics. "Human femmes, shut up."

"Make me." Ellie sneered. The obvious Decepticon raised an optic ridge and pressed a button on the outside of the cell. Ellie yelped, clawing at her neck, where the shock collar had made itself evident.

"Ow!" Leon growled when the 'Con lifted his finger. "That hurt, you fragger!"

"It was supposed to." He shrugged.

"Barricade, please kill me. Don't make me stay here!" Sunstreaker begged, smacking his head against the metal wall behind him.

"No, I don't think I will." Barricade tilted his helm to one side mockingly. "But I don't think I can say the same for the femmes."

"Leon," Ellie whispered, "I have a bad feeling about this..."

"No shit." Leon dead-panned. "What was your first clue? The fact that we were kidnapped by Decepticons, the fact we're locked up here with Sunny, who apparently has no idea who I am, or the fact that we have shock collars? Oh, and let's not fragging forget that I have my fucking _period_!"

Ellie shivered at the calculating look she quickly found herself under as Barricade's ruby optics studied she and Leon. It was not pleasant in the least, and the medic had a very, very bad idea she knew what Barricade meant when he said that they may not be the same. Ratchet was not shy about telling her what kind of injuries bots came back from because of the Decepticons, and was definitely not shy about telling her _exactly_ what would happen if she and Leon were to be captured and taken for information.

And at this point, all of it was beginning to look like it was going to happen.

Yippee Yi _Fucking_ Yay.

* * *

"'Cade...'Cade...'Cade...'Cade..."

"WHAT THE _FRAG_ DO YOU WANT, FEMME!?"

"Hi."

The casual statement, coming from Ellie, who at this point had shoved any and all thoughts of the pain she was in out of her mind while she focused on her new task, was nothing new.

Pissing off Barricade.

Turned out she was surprisingly good at doing so, considering that she had been doing this for what she guessed to be about three hours or so.

Leon was curled up as close to Sunstreaker as she could without having the volatile mech trying to 'accidentally' squish her in his recharge.

Therefore, the most logical thing in Ellie's mind was to keep herself entertained until her roommates woke up. Which, judging by their uneasy sleep, should be anytime in the next hour.

"Femme, I swear to Primus, if you do not desist, I will be forced to do something extremely unpleasant."

"Ooohh, like what? Reset my arm? Attempt to not shoot me? Trust me, I've been there, done that." she snorted.

"Make your interrogation a top priority."

"Oh." she frowned. "Let's not, and say we did."

"Oh, I think not." the larger mech growled.

Ellie was about to retort, but a sudden mumbled sentence from Leon distracted her.

"_No...Sunny...stop eating Sides' foot." _she mumbled, rolling over with a snort.

"Well...that was odd." Ellie blinked, turning back to Barricade, who had a very disturbed look on his face. "What, never heard a femme talk in her sleep? Trust me, you'll be getting this a lot from her."

"Getting what from who?" Sunstreaker asked crankily from his spot against the wall.

"Leon talking in her sleep."

"_No Sides...I don't wanna go and eat his Energon. It's funny looking." _Leon continued.

"...I am not entirely sure I want to know what is going on."

"Nope." Ellie replied sympathetically. "But it involves you. Honestly, I've gotta ask. How can you not remember her?"

"I've never met you two femmes in my life."

"Yes, yes you have."

"No, I haven't."

"He's right, you know." Barricade butted in.

"Wait. What?" Ellie blinked. "Yes he has. He kissed Leon on New Years."

"Ewwwww...Why would I ever kiss a squishy?" Sunstreaker gagged.

Barricade sent Ellie a smug look. "Because the mech that you know as this infernal glitch isn't actually him. He's a decoy, a spy."

"Well shit."

"YOU MEAN I KISSED A FUCKING DECEPTICON!? EWWWWWW!" Leon shrieked, bolting upright and gagging. "NASTY! UGH! BARRY, I NEED SOAP!"

"And why should I give it to you?"

"BECAUSE I AM A FRAGGING PISSED OFF FEMME WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE BLOOD COMING OUT OF MY-"

"Whoa, girl." Ellie lunged, clapping her hand over her friend's mouth before she could say anything else. "I don't advise advertising that shit."

"OH, I'M SORRY! WERE YOU EXPECTING ME TO BE IN A FUCKING GOOD MOOD!? I AM CRAMPING, DAMN IT!"

Ellie considered her options for a moment before looking over her shoulder at Barricade. "You know, she kinda has a point. She could possibly do something you'll regret later."

"Like what?"

* * *

"_Cadee...'Cadeeee...'Cadeee...'Cadeeee..."_

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS MADNESS ANYMORE!" Barricade howled, struggling to plug his audials from the horrendous screams. "FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY! YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PIT SPAWNED '_SOAP_'!"

"Don't forget the hot water~!" Leon chirped cheerily as the mech stormed off.

* * *

Optimus banged his head against his desk, half-listening to the three way argument Sunny, Sides and Mirage were having.

"We'll go!"

"I'm going!"

"Us!"

"Me!"

"You!"

"Me! DON'T TRY THE OLD SWITCHEROO TRICK ON ME, YOU BASTARD TWINS!"

"Damn! OPTIMUS! TELL HIM WE'RE GOING!"

"Sideswipe, Sunstreaker; brig. Mirage, go find the girls."

"But-"

"No."

"Yes, sir." The Twins grumbled, sulking off.

"Thank you, Optimus, sir." Mirage sighed, and took off.

**::Prowl, watch Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. I have just sent them down to the brig. Be sure they stay there.:: -Optimus Prime**

**::Yes, sir.:: -Prowl**

* * *

Skidz stared blankly at the walls of the Med-bay, refusing to look away.

His spark was still desperately trying to pick up on his twin, but there was nothing. Only the empty echo of the now empty bond.

He couldn't believe that his other half, his twin, his spark, was gone. Shock, anger, pain, loss. Words that held little to no meaning to him any longer. Mudflap was gone.

Ratchet had tried to snap him out of it, of course, tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault, that Mudflap had done his best. All of it was worth nothing to him.

His brother had literally been his support beam over the vorns. Through all of the abuse that they had suffered, all of their hardship, their battle to become the Autobots that they were. He had been there through it all, taken blows meant for him, vise versa. Was all of it worth it, in the end? Was it fair?

_No_.

His brothers death was so much more than that to him. It was the basis of his own life.

And now he was gone.


	27. Check Down

Ellie was aware of something clinking near her head. Repeatedly. Actually, it was beginning to piss her off, to be perfectly honest.

"Will you knock that shit off, Sunstreaker? I'm trying to fucking sleep." she growled, pulling herself up the best she could with one arm.

However, it wasn't Sunstreaker who responded. It was one hell of a Decepticon. It had feminine hips, so she could only assume that it was a femme.

"Hey, lady. _KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!" _she snarled, feeling much more justified in chewing out this moron.

"I am _not_ a _femme_!"

"Really. Because your hips say otherwise, _Shakira_." Ellie retorted, ignoring the fact that a pair of rather nasty crimson optics were now trained on her.

"My _designation_, femme, is _Starscream_. And I am a _mech_. _Not_ a _weak_ and _defenceless_ femme. Like you, for example."

"Where's Leon?" Ellie blinked, ignoring the the glare that was being levelled at her.

"On this useless piece of slag's servo." Starscream sneered, pulling off the other woman with no effort. That, of course, woke up Leon, who instinctively started shrieking at the feel of metal clutching her.

"You!" The mechanic snarled. "IT'S YOU! YOU FRAGGER! I KNOW NINETY-EIGHT WAYS TO KILL YOU WIL A SCREWDRIVER, AND WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON ONE, I'M GOING TO USE TECHNIQUE FORTY-THREE! JUST YOU WAIT! YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET KIDNAPPING ME!"

"Shut up." Starscream tossed her against the furthest wall and Leon landed in a heap. "You, come with me."

Sunstreaker was jerked off the wall and dragged, kicking and punching out of the cell. Ellie rushed over to Leon, who coughed out blood and collapsed against the wall, tears running down her face.

"It hurts." She whimpered. Ellie hated seeing her friend like this, her strong personality gone.

"I know. Hang on for me, Leo." The mocha woman smoothed her friend's tangled hair away from her face, before turning to Barricade, who flinched.

"Barricade," Ellie's eyes were hard. "I need bandages, water, and painkillers _now_."

"I don't take orders from you."

"You brought us here _alive_. Your spy in the Autobot's base has your information. You have us here for some reason. And Leon and I are not going to cooperate until we have what we want. Now go get what I want, or I'll find some way to kill both of us."

Barricade hurried out of the room and came back not two minutes later with what she had asked for. Ellie turned back to her friend and got to work binding the ribs that were broken.

* * *

With Sunstreaker in and out of their cell almost every few days, Leon and Ellie were left in the semi-darkness with a new mech, who ignored what they were saying.

Luckily for Leon, her ribs healed quite quickly, within a three and a half weeks. They were sore, but she was able to walk around and breath without wincing every three seconds.

"I bet," The mechanic stared at the roof of her cage, which was hanging from the ceiling of the cell. "That they brought us here to teach them the moves to Hips Don't Lie."

"With hips like Starscream's" Ellie replied. "I don't think they need to."

"Oh."

"I think-"

"I think," Barricade's voice floated from the front of the cell. "That you should shut up. You, get out of here."

The other Decepticon nodded and left. Barricade took his spot back. He glared at them and then pressed a hand to his ear.

"What luck. The mechanic gets a check-up with our local medic. Won't you have fun?"

* * *

Ellie pressed her hands to her ears as her lips trembled. Leon's tortured screams filtered into her cell from wherever the Med-Bay was.

The mocha woman squeezed her eyes shut and wished that Leon would stop.

"What music to my audios." Barricade purred, flicking Ellie's cage. "Maybe your companion won't come back."

The mechanic screamed again, it seemed closer this time.

"-_KIDS! MAYBE I WANTED TO KEEP MY UTERUS, YOU GIANT PIECE OF TIN!_! _I WAS PLANNING ON HAVING KIDS! I WANTED MY UTERUS! AREN'T DOCTORS SUPPOSED TO ASK THEIR PATIENTS IF THEY WANT THEIR SURGERY!? WHERE WAS MY YAY OR NAY!? HUH!? HUH!? I DIDN'T GET ONE! NO! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO!? DO YA? I'M GONNA SUE YOU! I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN SUE A FRAGGING DECEPTICON! BUT I SURE AS HELL AM GOING TO SUE YOU! I'LL FIND A WAY! PROWL WILL KNOW A WAY! JUST YOU WAIT!_"

"Are you quite done?" The door opened and a red mech entered, his hands cradled around a not-moving Leon. "Because I'm done listening to you."

"She been yelling at you this entire time, Knockout?" Barricade snorted, and the red mech nodded.

"Feisty little thing." A string of beeps, whistles and growls spewed from their mouths and Barricade responded in kind.

Leon glanced over at Ellie as Knockout shoved her roughly back into her bird cage.

"Hi."

"What did he do?" Ellie stared at the large incision on Leon's stomach area, still painted red from the surgery and stitched up messily.

"Didn't give me painkillers, that's what." Leon attempted a joke and then sighed. "He cut me open, and cut out my uterus while I wasn't sedated. It hurt."

"Look on the bright side," Ellie tried. "No more periods."

"I guess."

* * *

Mirage sped along the countryside of Sweden, scanners on high alert. He roared around a corner and breezed past a small off-road pathway just large enough for a car.

The Ferrari skidded a halt and pulled U-turn, sliding into the path as quietly as he could.

His sensors wailed in his head, picking up the slight radiation of a 'Con. He stopped and transformed, activating his invisibility as he strode down the path.

His optics narrowed, and the cherry red mech launched himself at the oblivious cassette. The unsuspecting little mech was dead within seconds, and Mirage lifted a hand to his helm as he took the mech's post.

**::Optimus, I've found Decepticon activity. I've removed cassette Rumble from Earth and I shall take over his watch post.:: -Mirage**

**::Keep up the good work, Mirage. We'll find them soon.:: -Optimus**

* * *

"Welcome, my friends, to Paris! Here," The two cages swung over to Sunstreaker and Leon extended crushed Energon cube in the vague shape of a flower towards the mech. He ignored her, and she shrugged, tucking it into his helm.

Unfortuneatly, the golden mech couldn't so much as move to get it out, so it was stuck there now.

"Take a flower on me!" Ellie laughed, swinging again.

"Forget where your from!"

"Paris holds the key to your heart-"

"Sing something else." Barricade snarled as their annoying song continued. Ellie and Leon fell silent.

"I don't know if you can hear me, or if your even there. I don't know if you will listen to a gypsy's prayer. You tell me I am just an outcast, I shouldn't speak to you...Still I see your face and wonder; were you once an outcast too?"

"God help the outcasts, hungry from birth. Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth. God help my people! We look to you still. God help the outcasts or nobody will."

Barricade held up a hand, and the two girls singing Disney flinched.

"Check up time." The mech grinned and both girls visibly paled.


	28. Unseeing, Unfeeling

Knockout was having a good day.

Leon was not.

Flatline also having a good day.

Ellie was also not.

In fact, their screams made everyone's day. Except their two human guests.

Of course they were not screaming for the same reason. Knockout was with Leon, half listening to her rant while he sat nearby. His optics watched she struggled against her bonds while bright Energon pooled around her.

"This isn't going to get any better, you know." Knockout commented. "Enjoy it while you can~!"

* * *

Ellie stared at her arm, or rather the stump left of it. Her left arm was lying on a small table to her right, and the stump was wrapped in stained bandages.

The mech with her hummed as he worked, small arms on his abdomen rubbing together. His black paint flickered in the bright lighting. Ellie was glad he had pumped her full of something that numbed her entire body.

She had no idea what it was, and at the moment, she didn't really care.

He was tinkering with something on his worktable, out of sight from her dim eyes. The mocha woman sighed, peering at the thin green curtain separating her and Leon.

The two of them had been there several hours now, and Leon had gone quiet. Knockout's silhouette could be seen through the curtain and there was a lot of clanking going on the other side.

"Nearly done now, little fleshy." Flatline tossed a grin over his shoulder, and bent over his work once more.

Ellie whimpered, eyes drifting to her unattached limb as it sat on it's tray. Flatline pulled it closer.

After what seemed like seconds, Flatline shuffled over to his patient. In one of his servos was a mechanical arm, and in his two smaller servos was a drill, several screws and a plate of bent metal.

"Let's begin shall we? Your numbing solution should wear off soon." He bent over her again, and Ellie's eyes moved away, catching sight of the wall of glass above them.

Megatron smirked down at her, and Starscream sneered. What morbid creatures, watching her pain. But these were Decepticons, and their evils knew no bounds.

* * *

Everything was blue.

Very, very blue. With a little bit of pink in the mix.

But it was blue, and Leon decided she liked it. It was better than staring at Knockout, and it was better than hurting, and it was better than anything she'd been through at the Decepticon base.

In fact, if this was death, Leon was very okay with it.

But she could still feel her limbs, and still feel the quickly growing pain in her chest. She scratched it and then winced as it grew a ten fold.

Leon screeched, clawing at her chest as it glowed the same blue as the stuff around her.

Her blue glow was round, with a slight green hint to it, and it rose from her chest.

Leon was thrashing now, sending waves of blue in every direction. A pair of silver servos appeared before her, and she desperately tried to get away from them.

However, they pulled the glowing blue sphere from her chest and vanished again.

Leon was left numbed, and she shut her eyes, whimpering.

Her green eyes blurred with tears, and the pain started in her chest again, before the servos appeared and pulled her out.

Blue dripped from her long brown hair, and it slid from her half clothed state.

Leon was limp, hazy eyes staring as the red blur carrying her deposited her body back into the cage she'd been taken from earlier that day.

It wasn't long until two black blurs brought a bright yellow blur and another black blur brought in what the mechanic assumed was Ellie.

But her eyes were too heavy now, and she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

When Leon woke up it was to her cellmates arguing, again.

"Guys, shut up." She growled, and ran a hand through her still damp hair.

"Hey, Leon!" Ellie greeted, half-sarcastic half-cheerful. "What kind of torture did you go through? I got my arm chopped off!"

"Really?" Leon sat up, and opened her eyes. She frowned, lifting her hand and moving it in front of her right eye. "I can't see much out of my eye. It's all blurry."

She turned in Ellie's direction and stared at her stump.

"So, can I call you Stumpy now?"

"Not you too!"

"You asked that already?" Leon looked at Sunstreaker, who scoffed and nodded. "Damn."

"Good morning, ladies!" Knockout appeared, and he leaned towards Leon. "Did you know your right eye is pale green? It's very pretty, you know. Anyway, let's go."

He turned towards Ellie.

"Morning, Stumpy. Flatline will be in later to finish up with you."

"_YOU TOO! WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE!?_"

"Bye, Ellie." Leon waved as she was carried away in her cage.

* * *

She was floating again, and the lights were more pink than blue this time. One side of her vision was black, and she couldn't feel her nose, which sucked because she need to sneeze.

Leon's eyes widened, and her fingers twitched, clawing at her chest again as another ball of light escape.

It was the third today, and each time was worse.

Leon was vaguely aware that her toes were tingling, and that there was a servo coming towards her before blacked out.

* * *

She was woken, yet again, by the arguing of Sunstreaker and Ellie. Leon grumbled to herself, and opened her eyes, only to meet complete blackness.

"Your continuous whining annoys me. I demand you cease." Leon snarled, sitting up and moving her hand in front of her eyes and waving it.

"Leon, are you okay?"

"I am okay. I cannot see, I am a prisoner of the Decepticons, and one of the mechs I like does not remember me. So, yes, of course I'm okay, Elina Epps."

"Why are you talking like that? And your eyes are really really pale green. It's kinda creepy."

"I thank you for the information." Leon snorted, dropping her hand into her lamp. "May I ask how your arm is?"

"I'm still Stumpy. Oh, look," Ellie hissed. "It's big, red, and ugly."

"Good morning to you too, Stumpy. I see your arm is healing well."

"No it's not. Asshole." The mocha woman snarled and Leon could imagine the look on her face.

"Little femme," Knockout's voice spewed from before the mechanic. "It seems as though your sight is gone. Pity. I liked your eyes."

"Please refrain from speaking to me at this time."

"And so polite."

* * *

The first thing Leon registered when she woke the next day was the silence. She could not see, so she could not look around.

"Hello?"

Leon frowned. Now her hearing was gone too. Her hand lifted and she pinched her nose, blowing out with her breath until both ears popped and a rush of sound entered her brain.

"Leo?"

"Thank you for your concern, Elina. I am able to hear again, although my sight has not returned."

"Nope! I did! Stumpy, Flatline should be finished today." Knockout had a grin in his voice.

* * *

Ellie stared as Leon was placed back in her bird cage, and Knockout strode away, a look of deep contemplation on his face before his footsteps picked up and he vanished.

The mocha woman used her flesh arm to pull her self up, and she leaned against her bars.

"Leo?"

Leon's head turned slowly, pale green eyes blank and face like marble. She twitched only slightly, and that was to fold her legs beneath herself.

"Leon? What happened?"

The mechanic still didn't answer, and her drenched hair dripped blue to the bottom of her cage.

"Leon?"

"Who is Leon?" The brunette asked, voice monotone as she gazed in the direction of the far wall.

"You."

"I have no designation. Who am I speaking to?"

"That's creepy." Sunstreaker stared, hanging limp in his chains.

"I'm Ellie, Elina Epps. I'm your best friend! We're practically sisters!" Ellie tried, voice rising in her panic.

"I do not know an Elina Epps. I do know the mech. His designation is Sunstreaker. He is the twin to Sideswipe, who is not here."

"How come she remembers me, and not you?" The battered mech glanced at Ellie who wiped the tears off her face, and shrugged.

* * *

She was floating again, in nearly white liquid. Several ribbons of red floated from her body.

It was...what was it? Who was she? Where was she? Was she even a she?

Maybe she was a he. No, that did not seem right. She was a she.

Pain rippled through her body but the She did not move, merely felt as an orb left her body.

The She got a distinctly crimson feeling from it, and the She could see-taste.

Her feeling in her legs dimmed, as did those in her arms and it crept slowly up her body until it reached her eyes.

The She's sight returned for a moment, as did her name.

She was Leon, laying in a pool of crimson, staring at a ceiling made of dirt.

She was Leon, laying in a pool of crimson, staring at a ceiling...

She was Leon, laying in a pool of crimson...

She was Leon, laying...

She was Leon...

She was Leon...

She was...

Who was she again?

She was Leon, right.

She was Leon in a pool of crimson, staring at the ceiling made of dirt, with unseeing pale green eyes, and she was not breathing.

She was Leon, and Leon...

She was dead.


	29. Don't Touch My Aft

Ellie waited silently as the hours ticked by.

"How long as Leon been gone?"

"Mentally, or physically?" Sunstreaker sneered. "About twenty-three hours."

"Doesn't Knockout normally bring her back earlier? I'm worried."

"You fragging should be. They're Decepticons."

"Your femme is in very good servos." Barricades smirked, obviously knowing something they didn't. "She'll be back once Knockout has done his tests, after she wakes up."

"What kind of tests?" Sunstreaker's optics narrowed.

"That's classified." The Con mech sniffed, turning back to the small game on the data pad he was holding.

* * *

"What the hell is Knockout thinking?" One of the door guards scoffed. "He can't turn a human femme into a fully operational old-model Cybertronian femme! That just won't work!"

"Flatline and Knockout are geniuses. " The second one argued. "And they're following Commander Starscream's calculations. He hasn't been wrong on one of his projects yet."

"I suppose."

"It's also a blow to the Autobots. The two femmes here are personal friends of them all. And they _are_ related to the human Commander and his Second in Command."

"Really? Well, now I feel important."

Mirage slunk away, carefully moving through the foliage around the Decepticon base.

**::Optimus, it's Mirage:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

**::Yes? What news do you have?:: -encoded Autobot signal; Optimus**

**::It's not good. Both of our girls are here...::-encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

**::But they are being experimented on.:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

**::That is not good. What are they trying to do?:: -encoded Autobot signal; Optimus**

**::Knockout is attempting to change Leon and Elina into Cybertronian femmes.:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

**::I see. -:: -encoded Autobot signal; Optimus**

**::Please, one moment.:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

The cherry red mech froze and turned his audio receptors to high before focusing on the conversation he'd been eavesdropping on.

"That Sunstreaker mech is such an asshole." The first guard snorted.

"I hope our spy is doing a good job impersonating him at the Autobot base. The fake bond that Shockwave made really must be doing a good job if Sideswipe hasn't picked up the _real_ Sunstreaker."

"What's going on with the real one anyway?"

"He's being held with those two femmes. All tied up in chains and hanging on a wall like one of his paintings. He's dragged out every now and then so some of the mechs can have a go at him."

"Really. Maybe, I'll have to try."

**::Optimus. There's a spy in the base.:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

**::Who is it?:: -encoded Autobot signal; Optimus**

**::Sunstreaker.:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

**::That cannot be. Sideswipe would have detected something by now if that were true.:: -encoded Autobot signal; Optimus**

**-encoded Autobot signal; sending audio recording; Mirage**

**::Slag. I will deal with the situation at once. Our twins are in the brig. Ironhide and Prowl have been keeping an optic on them:: -encoded Autobot signal; Optimus**

**::Si. I shall report again later:: -encoded Autobot signal; Mirage**

* * *

The first thing Leon realized when she opened her eyes was the fact that she could _see_.

The second was the warnings flashing across her vision, informing her she was low on Energon, and her location was not known.

That last time Leon had checked, she did _not_ have a computer for a brain.

"Oh, good. You're finally awake." Knockout's head appeared before her, larger than it had seemed before. "Sit up."

Leon grumbled but did as he said, only for her eyes...optics to go wide as she stared at the metal legs stretching from her waist and the metal hands on the ends of her metal arms.

"What. The. Frag?!" She screamed, throwing a punch at the medic, who ducked. "Why in Pit am I metal!?"

"Your operation was a complete success!" Knockout clapped his hands together. "I managed to transfer your personality and your memories to your new spark by putting you in specially engineered Energon. I placed it all into your spark chamber piece by piece and when your human body bleed out, I transferred you over to your new body! Ta-da! Very sexy femme~!"

"Why?" Her optics filled with tears.

"Orders. The need to repopulate the entire race. Chromia and Arcee are not old model femmes. They were made for war. You on the other hand, were made to make sparklings."

"No. FRAGGING. Way. I am not going to be some Cybertronian baby making oven. That is rape!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Yes, yes. Are you done? As much as I enjoy staring at your protoform, there are tests that need to be done, and you should probably get some armour."

"So, you're saying I'm naked."

"Yes."

"Hentai!" Leon's fist made contact with Knockout's nose and there was a sharp crunching noise.

"Glitch. I liked my nose."

"Aft hole." Leon muttered, optics dripping fluids.

Knockout handed her a cube of glowing Energon while he turned and rummaged through a large cupboard.

"Here they are! I knew they were in there!" He emerged with a pile of deep purple armour and held it out. "Femme armour!"

"And you automatically expect me to know how to put that shit on, right?" Leon stared at him blankly. Knockout nodded. "I don't know how."

"If you ask _nicely_, I'll help you. Although I'd rather be the mech to take it off." Knockout purred, placing it beside her. "Did you know your optics are a beautiful green colour?"

"No. Knockout, will you pretty please with Energon on top help me put on that armour?" Leon grumbled.

"Sure~!"

* * *

Optimus folded his arms behind his back, gazing over his troops.

"Mirage has successfully located the Decepticon base. I am organizing a strike team to mobilize to his coordinates immediately. We will get in, get Leon, Ellie and their cell mate out and then evacuate. Take down as many Decepticons as you can."

"Ironhide, Chromia, Prowl, Arcee, Bumblebee, Skidz, Sideswipe, Ratchet and the small unit of Lennox's team will come with me. The rest of the Autobots and NEST will remain here, guarding the base. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir!" The Autobots saluted, hurried to prepare their weapons. Ironhide grinned, fire dancing in his optics.

"Taking those girls was a bad move. The 'Cons won't be too lucky today."

"No." Optimus scowled, transforming down into his alt mode to load onto the planes.

* * *

"Subspace it."

"And out to shoot."

"Subspace it. Then shoot."

"Are we _done_ yet!?" Leon snarled, whirling on Knockout. He simply smiled and shook his head, whiling continuing to check out her aft.

The armour he'd found was a deep purple colour, and was smooth, rounded. Leon's helm was standard issue, with a trio of spikes protecting her audio receptors along the sides. Her battle mask would slid out of subspace along with a visor, both of which were hiding her rather nasty expression.

Her chassis was rounded, and she knew it would shape itself into something different once she scanned an alt-mode. That was actually something Leon was looking forward to. She had no wheels on her and her frame was only twelve feet tall, which she knew was three feet shorter than Sideswipe and his twin.

She had options; she could be a bike, or a car, or maybe even fly. She was terrified of planes, why the hell would she fly? So a car or a bike then. Leon had always wanted a Kawasaki Ninja...Now she could be one!

"Femme! Shoot the target!"

Leon rolled her green optics, and fired the cannon currently mounted on her arm. The plasma blast blew the entire trio of targets to smithereens and she turned to Knockout again.

He stared a moment at the destruction she'd cause, and scribbled something down on his data pad.

"Cannons; fully operational. Blasters; fully operational. Temper; need improvement. Aft; fine piece of work."

"I'm going to punch you again." She growled, and several targeting systems appeared on her visors, letting her know the mech's weak spots, and that the two Seekers guarding the door were too busy playing a game of rock-paper-cannon to notice.

"Sure. Sure." Knockout shook his helm, thinking her statement to be a joke. However, when he collided with the wall, that theory was knocked out of the park. The data pad that had once been in his hand slid to a halt at the blue Seeker's pede and he froze, leaning to pick it up.

He glanced at her, and then blinked. Leon's optics narrowed, a growl rising from her throat as she crouched. There was a thirteen percent chance she could manage to beat these three up enough that she could escape the room, a four percent chance that she'd make it back to the brig and bust Sunny and Ellie out without being caught, and an eighty-three percent chance that she would get the slag beaten out of her.

Her odds? Not so good.

"Nice punch." The blue Seeker merely nodded, and typed something into the pad before handing it to his Trine mate. "I've never seen that kind before. Will you show me again?"

"No. You'll use it against the Autobots." The blue and dark purple Seekers shared looks and then glanced around.

**::I won't.:: -personal encoded link; Thundercracker**

**::We promise.:: -personal encoded link; Skywarp**

**::Why should I believe you?:: -personal encoded link; Sundancer**

**::And why the frag does my name come up as Sundancer?:: -personal encoded link; Sundancer**

**::That's what you were calling yourself for a mission at your base. The Decepticon spy planted there started calling you that, and it kind of stuck. Don't be surprised if mechs call you that.:: -personal encoded link; Thundercracker**

**::Um, she asked why? Um, you should believe us because-:: - personal encoded link; Skywarp**

**::We don't want to be Decepticons. We wanted to stay neutrals, but Starscream is our Trine leader. We have to listen to what he says.:: -personal encoded link; Thundercracker**

Leon stared at the two mechs, her optics blinking rapidly as she subspaced her battle mask and visor.

Knockout groaned from the floor and the door slid open to reveal Barricade, who was grinning.

"I'm here for Sundancer." He sneered, optics gleeful as he stared at the half hidden figure of Leon behind the two Seekers. "Or the former Leon. Your stupid fleshy friend has been leaking nonstop. Idiot."

"Ellie's okay!?" Leon pushed past the two fliers, and shrieked as Barricade slung her over his shoulder. A servo supported her knees and the other was placed on her aft.

* * *

"_STOP STROKING MY AFT, YOU GLITCHY PIECE OF TIN! I'M GOING TO FRAGGING KICK YOU IN THE CORD PIECE, BARRICADE! LEMME GO!_"

Ellie sniffled, hugging her arms, one mechanic and one not, to her chest. Tear tracks marked her face and Sunstreaker had long offlined against the wall again.

The mocha woman whimpered. She was hearing things. It almost sounded like Leon's shouting.

"_-AND I SWEAR IF YOU'VE HARMED A HAIR ON HER HEAD, I'M GOING TO SLAG YOU UP! YOUR AFT WILL BE YOUR NEW FACE, YOU HEAR ME!? YOUR FACE! AND IT'LL IMPROVE WHAT LOOKS YOU DON'T HAVE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE UGLY BEFORE, BUT THIS IS EVEN WORSE! JUST WAIT! YOU'RE GONNA BE A PILE OF SCRAP IN A CORNER BEFORE LONG, BARRY! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR LEGS, AND I'LL STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD! AND THEN I'LL ATTACH YOU TO A REALLY BIG ROCK AND PUSH YOU INTO THE OCEAN, WHERE YOU'LL STAY FOR THE REST OF FOREVER! AND GET YOUR FRAGGING SERVO OFF MY AFT YOU- GAAAAH!_"

A rather loud thud came from across the cell and Ellie crawled over to the edge of her bird cage. Her dark green eyes took in the purple femme who lay on the ground, kicking Barricade's legs as he chained her arms to the wall.

"I brought you a present, little fleshy." Barricade sneered, and then winced when the femme's foot came a little too close to his cord piece for comfort. He left, evacuating the room after activating the bright red beams of electricity on the bars at the front of the cell.

"Who are you?" Ellie rasped.

"You don't recognize me." The femme looked sad, shoulders drooping. "I guess...Well, you wouldn't what was I expecting? A '_Hi, Leon! Where have you been? Nice new body? Where'd you get it cause I want one?_' Ah, well. How are you, Ellie?"

"LEON!?" Ellie hissed, eyes wide.

The femme nodded.

"You're okay right?" Leon asked, and Ellie got a strange tingling all over. "Your period is starting in exactly three days, seven hours, four minutes, and thirty-five seconds. Thought you should know."

"You are Leon, right? You're not just a Decepticon femme with her voice?"

Leon shook her helm.

"In the summer of our eleventh grade, you tripped into a pile of cow poo and got it in your mouth. We promised to never speak of it after I fell into one laughing."

"You _are _Leon_!_"

"What do you take me for? Sunstreaker?"

* * *

**So, yeah. I lied. Leon's not dead! Yay!**


	30. Hips Don't Lie

"Are you sure you won't attack us?" Skywarp trembled as he crouched beside the femme seated on the ground.

"Skywarp, I've told you, like, a billion times. I'm. Not. Going. To. Attack. You. Please let my arms down. They're tired."

"Okay." The purple Seeker muttered and he unlocked the cuffs before darting out of the cell and activating the bars.

Leon stretched her arms above her head, and dropped them into their lap.

"Thanks. Hey, Ellie." The mocha woman popped her head out of her bird cage. "How come your arm is metal?"

"Oh. Flatline chopped it off and replaced it." Ellie replied, voice unalterable from a flat monotone.

"Well, that sucks. You look kinda like Ed now."

"Ed?"

"Edward Elric!" Leon chirped, nodding vigorously. "The Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Is he the short blond kid, who always yells when people call him short?" Thundercracker joined the conversation.

"Yes!" Leon threw her arms up and winced. "Even TC -I'm calling you that now- knows who he is!"

"He's the one with the walking tin can for a younger brother." Ellie finally realized. The Seeker and newly-turned femme nodded.

"Fullmetal Alchemist?" Skywarp frowned, tapping his chin and then he nodded. "I think I've watched a few episodes. I like Bleach better."

"True dat!" Ellie laughed. Sunstreaker grumbled from his spot on the wall, still deep in recharge.

"Shhhh!" Skywarp and Leon placed fingers to their mouths. "Don't wake the baby!"

Thundercracker and Ellie burst into a fit of muffled giggles.

"Let's play a game." Leon suddenly grinned.

"What kind of game?"

"The name game."

"I like that one. Everything and anything?"

"What?" The two Seekers looked confused.

"You'll catch on pretty quick." Leon winked, and then turned back to her friend. "Alabama."

"Asia."

"Aardvark."

"Kentucky Fried Chicken."

"Nepal."

"London."

"Nigeria." Thundercracker burst out, grinning as he figured out the game.

"Alberta?" Skywarp asked next. Leon grinned.

"Athens."

Ellie took the next one. "San Fransisco."

"Oslo." Was Thundercracker's instant answer.

"Ottawa." Ellie returned.

"Atlantic Ocean."

And so they continued for several hours.

* * *

"Supercali-frag-ulisticexpialidocious."

"Sawmill."

Sunstreaker, who'd been listening in on their game, spoke up. "Llamas."

"That classifies as an automatic win on my part."

Thundercracker and Skywarp went deathly silence, and they froze in their seats. The purple mech suddenly appeared in front of Leon, slapping the chains on her arms before returning to his seat.

"What's going on?"

"Knockout, Starscream and Megatron."

"Those slaggers." Sunstreaker growled, and he -finally- noticed the femme. "Wait. Who're you?"

"That's Leon!" Ellie grinned.

"What?"

"I have a metal arm. And Leon got turned into a femme."

"Shush." TC growled, passing a card to his brother and they began to play Go Fish.

The door to the brig slid open, and the three mechs appeared, all menacing.

Megatron was kind of creepy, and Starscream's lady hips swayed while he walked, so Leon took to glare up at Knockout; because Meggies was terrifying and she doubted she would have been able to not look at Starscream and burst into laughter.

"Here she is, Lord Megatron. The new femme, Sundancer." Knockout swept a hand at Leon, who was seated on the ground with her arms cuffed above her head.

"Though she was once a fleshy," Megatron leaned forward, his facial plates dangerously close to the sparking red beams over the metal bars of the cell. "I cannot help but think this design suits her. And you say she is an old model femme?"

"Yes, my Lord." Starscream was the one who answered. "I helped build that part myself. She is able to produce sparklings, should she have a sparkmate."

"Excellent. And the fleshling?"

"Her arm is operational, sir." Knockout nodded. "Cybertronian implants work with human anatomy."

Leon took a glanced over at the Trine Leader of their two guards, and caught him just as he was shifting his stance, wiggling his hips.

"Do you have something to say, _femme_?" Megatron sneered. Leon nodded to Starscream.

"Ladies up in here tonight. No fighting, no fighting. We got the refugees up in here tonight. No fighting, no fighting."

"Shakira. Shakira." Ellie snickered, as her friend launched into the male beginning of the song.

"I never really knew she could dance like this. She makes a man want to speak Spanish. Como se llama,"

"Si!"

"Bonita,"

"Si, Shakira, Shakira!"

"Su casa."

"Shakira. Shakira."

"Silence, wench." Megatron growled, his fist hovering over the panel for the bars.

Leon was silent, wondering if she should test her luck with the terrifying mech, before deciding that she was probably gonna go though Hell soon, and she wanted to annoy someone...other than Sunstreaker, who was surprising quiet.

"Oh, baby, when you talk like that~!" Leon crooned. "You make a woman go mad! So be wise and keep on reading the signs of my body. And I'm on tonight. You know, my hips don't lie. And I'm starting to feel it's right. All the attraction, the tension. Don't you see baby,"

The femme grinned and gestured to herself.

"This is perfection!"

The Decepticon leader growled, and Starscream winced as he cocked his head before following his leader out the door. Knockout gave his creation an odd look, before exiting too.

The second the door closed, Ellie, Skywarp, Thundercracker, and Leon threw back their heads and howled with laughter.

"Imagine...Starscream..." Ellie panted, before giggling again. "Dancing to that!"

"My sides! My sides!" The Seekers screeched.

* * *

Leon was roughly woken from her recharge by a kick in the side. She grumbled, only to recieve another kick, this one harder.

The femme growled, lashing out with her own foot, which met metal.

"Crazy glitch." Barricade's voice sounded above her. "Get up."

"No."

"Now."

"You woke me from my recharge, you fragger." Leon offlined her optics again, before Barricade hauled her up by the wrists. Leon struggled, lashing out with her pedes, which managed to strike him most of the time, but barely left dents.

"You're standing from now on." He leered, attaching her cuffs higher up.

"Frag you."

"I can frag _you_ if you want. Or if you don't."

"Scram before I beat the slag out of you, ya rusty pile o' tin!"

"Suit yourself. I've been told I'm a good _lover_."

Leon stuck her glossa at his back and attempted to find a comfortable spot to recharge again.

* * *

**This chapter -as far as I'm concerned- is purely crack-shit. There is no plot, and it's a filler, because I'm drafting the next few chapters. Also, it's doubtful I'll be updating again this weekend as I have a lot of updating to do -a list of maybe fifteen plus- mostly Transformers, some Bleach, Inuyasha, Ouran High School Host Club. A general huge sweep of everything I've been neglecting at the moment. Which is a lot. **

**Still your reviews mean a lot to me, and I'm proud that we've hit the 150 + mark. First ever with this many reviews guys!**

**So, I know a shit load of y'all -yes, I just used y'all- hated that I killed Mudflap several chapters back, but it was plot, guys. I'm sorry.  
**

**And I've had a few repeated/interesting questions that I'll attempt to explain. They may be explained in later chapters too, so if you don't see your question, that's why. **

**The first is from KayleeChiara.  
**

_I think the only thing that I don't get is what did Optimus do with Sunstreaker?_

**The Sunstreaker she speaks of is the fake one at base, which I'll be going into detail about, but can spare some info here. The Sunny at base is FAKE. He is not Sunstreaker. The F-Sunstreaker, he got locked up in the brig. Reeeal snug like.**

**The next is from TheGhost129.**

_Are you making Ellie gonna be a Cyber too?_

**Unfortunately, I am not making Ellie into a Cybertronian. But, she's got a funky cool arm coming soon to her, via Ratchet. **

**So, my cat -Moose- has decided it's time for me to stop typing and go to bed. Fun right? Yup! I like sleep. I have fucked up Transformers dreams involving Jazz and Ironhide. **

**Whoooooo boy. That was interesting. Jazz was wearing a tutu -a pink one with bows-, and Ironhide...I'm not even gonna finish this sentence. They're crazy.  
**

**Ta-ta. Check out Sticks and Stones, Glowing Neon, and And the Sky Fell.  
**

**And review! **


	31. I've Got A Dream

Ellie woke when her arm moved.

_By itself._

The mocha woman strained her eyes through the dark, and she shuddered when the arm twitched again. The sounds of small transformation had Leon's optics onlining, although the green lights were dim.

"Ellie, what are you doing?" It took the medic a moment to make out the sentence, because Leon was slurring in her exhaustion.

"I'm not doing it." Ellie lifted her metallic arm, which was suddenly a few pounds heavier. The end began glowing and Leon's optics made it possible to see what was going on. "That's a cannon."

"Your arm transforms?" Leon growled, tensing against the chains holding her arms above her head.

"Leon...I think it shoots too." The following actions were quick, almost impossibly -for that time in the morning- quick.

The cannon on Ellie's arm fired a hot blast of plasma, Leon pushed up from the wall, and Sunstreaker woke about.

"WATCH THE PAINT!"

"Holy Primus." Leon panted, although she didn't need to. Her feet were braced against the roof of the cell, and her wrist were bent at awkward angles. The femme stared at the cannon as it discharged again, aiming for her legs struts.

Leon squeaked, and threw her self towards Sunstreaker, latching onto his waist with her legs. She was stretched quiet far and her face displayed the pain she was in.

"GET OFF!" Sunstreaker snarled, shifting his hips to try and get her off. The cannon fired at Sunstreaker's hips and then Leon's thighs.

Because she was the only one with partial mobility, Leon pushed Sunstreaker back with her heeled pedes and threw herself against her wall again.

Ellie was panicking now, her arm out of control.

The guard, who was low-ranked enough to be stuck guarding them, woke from his recharge cycle.

A blast from the cannon caught him in the throat and blew clean through. His red optic visor dimmed and his body hit the ground.

Dust, shards of metal and clumps of dirt rained down upon the three Autobot prisoners.

**::HELP!:: -Sundancer; private link**

**::Wassgoingon?:: -Thundercracker; private link**

**::Sundancer, are you alright?:: -Skywarp; private link**

**::NO! ELLIE'S ARM HAS A CANNON AND IT'S TRYING TO BLOW US TO BITS!:: -Sundancer; private link**

**::We will be there in about a kilk:: -Thundercracker; private link**

"Help is coming." Leon pushed to the side to avoid another blast. Ellie was trying desperately to control her arm.

* * *

In the end, the brig ended up being destroyed. It actually collapsed, and set Sunstreaker's right servo free.

Sunstreaker had managed to bust through the lasers, turn them off, and release both the females with one shot to the console beside the red bars. And set off the alarms.

Before Skywarp and Thundercracker arrived.

"Wow." The two Seekers stared at the mess, shuttering optics. "Nice work."

Fortunately, the cannon had gone back to being dormant.

"You realize we've got to drag you up to see Megatron now, right?" Thundercracker sighed, moving towards Sunstreaker, who was crouched in front of Leon and Ellie with his blades out.

The scuffed and dented Autobot growled, narrowing purple-tinted optics.

Leon placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay. They're help."

"They're _Decepticons_. Decepticons _don't_ help."

"These ones do. If you can't trust them, trust _me_." She grinned, moving to stand. Skywarp hand to catch her with one servo before her leg struts collapsed. Sunstreaker grumbled, but allowed Thundercracker to help him up.

The two Decepticon Seekers herded the two bots out, and Skywarp lifted Ellie's cage.

* * *

"Knockout, front and center." Megatron rumbled, red optics narrowed from where he sat on his rough throne.

"Yes, Lord Megatron." The red medic stepped forward.

"Excellent work with Sundancer. Her battle reflexes work well." Knockout twitched but nodded before stepping back. Megatron did not give praise lightly; when he did it was best not question it and get the hell out of there.

"Soundwave, what is our status?"

"Status: Autobots have located Beta-One Base."

"And the brig?" Megatron smirked.

"Brig: Destroyed. Prisoners: In need of holding. Suggestion: Place them with full-time guards."

"Yes. That would work. Who will take the Autobot scum?"

Skywarp and Thundercracker's servos shot into the air.

"Us! Us! Choose us!"

Megatron gazed around until he look directly at the two Trine members, and then glanced at Starscream, who was shaking his helm and mouthing no.

"Very well. Skywarp, Thundercracker; you may guard the prisoners and lodge with them."

"Yes, sir!" They saluted with grins, and rushed to haul the three up. The Seekers vanished out the door.

"Soundwave, keep an optic on them."

"Order: Acknowledged."

* * *

Optimus scowled at the empty base.

"Optimus," Sideswipe wheeled up, a particularly disgusted sneer on his facial plates. "There is nothing here but Energon cubes..."

"And?" Optimus turned.

"I found a clue to where the actual base might be." Mirage joined the lone Twin. "This base is called Beta-One. If we use the Cybertronian navigational method from the Silver Ages..."

The cherry red mech projected a holographic Earth into the center of the throne room, surrounded by a set of Cybertronian glyphs. He pointed to where the were and zoomed in.

"Then the base the Decepticons should be at would be here."

"Where is that? We look pretty close." Sideswipe leaned forward.

"It's Finland. Pjukansören, Kumlinge, Ålands skärgård, Aland Islands to be exact."

"An island." Sideswipe growled before rolling away.

"I will contact Major Lennox. Prowl, gather our forces."

"Yes, sir." The SiC nodded, exiting the room.

"Major Lennox, this is Optimus Prime. Prepare a air-evacuation. This is not the base we are looking for. Wheeljack's newest invention? Yes, have Ironhide bring it in."

"An invention?"

"One that is made to explode." Optimus nodded to Mirage's question.

"I see."

* * *

Sideswipe punched a wall, glaring down at the floor. The front-liner was pissed.

Not only had Sunstreaker been a fake -which was hard to believe because the bond was there- he was a Decepticon spy.

If the 'Con, who's name they'd discovered was Makeshift, had actually been a neutral, it would have been easier to understand.

But that didn't change the fact the Makeshift had impersonated his brother, kissed the girl -no matter how organic- that he liked -although Sideswipe wouldn't admit it- and had helped kidnap the two girls.

And the 'Cons were hiding behind fake bases.

The dent in the wall became bigger.

"I'm coming, Sunny." The silver bot growled. "You'd better have kept Leon safe."

**/...swipe.../**

That was _the twin bond._

**/Sunny?/**

**/Don't call me that!/**

**/Are you okay!? Is Leon okay? And Ellie!? Mirage wouldn't forgive me if I didn't ask.../**

**/Yeah. We're fine. Well, kind of. Where are you? I don't have much time/**

**/Where are you?**

**/Norway. In a mountain...hill...thing near a lake called Vatnedalvnnet. About five hundred Human meters above sea level/**

**/I'll let Optimus know. We'll be there soon, brother/**

**/Good. I don't know how much more badly sung Disney I can handle/**

Sideswipe frowned, confused before bolting for Optimus, whom he nearly collided with.

"Oh good! I need to talk with you."

* * *

"I've got scars and lumps and bruises." Skywarp warbled. "And something here that oozes! And let's not even mention my complexion! But despite my extra toes, and my goitre and my nose, I'd really like to make a love connection. Can't you see me with a special little lady? Rowing in a row boat down the stream!?"

"Down the stream!" Ellie sang bad harmony to the song.

"Though I'm one disgusting blighter, I'm a lover not a fighter. Cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!"

At this point, Leon and Thundercracker joined in on the chorus.

"I've got a dream!"

"He's got a dream!"

"I've got a dream!"

"He's got a dream!"

"And I know one day romance will reign supreme! Though my face leaves people screaming, there's a child behind it dreaming. Like everybody else, I've got a dream!"

"'Cade would like to quit and be a florist." Leon grinned, crossing her arms. "Screamer does interior design. Flatline's into mime. Knockout's cupcakes are sublime. Brawl knits, Frenzy sews, Dreadwing does little puppet shows. And Megatron collects ceramic Unicrons."

"I have dreams like you, no really!" Thundercracker laughed. "Just much less touchy-feely. They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny. On an island that I own, tan and rested and alone, surrounded by enormous piles of money!"

"I've got a dream!" Leon sang, lifting her servo into the air whiling standing on the Trine's small table.

"She's got a dream."

"I've got a dream!"

"She's got a dream!"

"I just want to see the floating lanterns gleam. And every passing hour I'm so glad I left my tower! Like all you lovely folk, I've got a dream!"

"She's got a dream. She's got a dream. They got a dream. We've got a dream. So our differences ain't really that extreme! We're one big team. Call brutal, sick, sadistic, and grotesquely optimistic; Cause way down deep inside we've got a dream. I've got a dream! I've got a dream! I've got a dream! I've got a dream! I've got a dream! I've got a dream! Yes, way down deep inside, I've got a dream! Yeah!"

Sunstreaker pulled his servos off his audio receptors, and winced at the last bit of the Disney song from tangled.

"Join us, Sunny!" Ellie grinned.

"No. And don't call me that!"

"You're just moody because your paint looks like crap." Leon smiled, patting his hand. "Singing will make you feel better. Then you won't focus on your paint."

"The Autobots will be here soon." The gold mech grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Then we should recharge." Skywarp hummed, lifting Ellie in his servo. He shuffled over to his room and the door slid into the roof. Earlier, the purple Seeker had acquired a pile of rags that Ellie was content to curl up into.

"Night, Ellie!" Leon waved grinning, before she yawned.

"Sunstreaker, you get to sleep in my room. I promise I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me."

"So, that leaves Leon with Starscream?" Skywarp poked his head out. "He won't try anything. She'll be okay."

"Right." Leon nodded, nervously shifting on her pedes. Thundercracker unlocked the biggest door, and shooed the dark purple femme in.

The room was large, decorated with colourful draped materials, some with patterns. The berth was quiet large, and several soft blankets were thrown on it. Leon lifted an optic ridge before diving for the berth and promptly falling into recharge.

* * *

Thundercracker and Skywarp were awakened from their peaceful recharges by a scream and the feeling of panic over their Trine bond.

Both of them exited their rooms at the same time and they headed for Starscream room. The door slid open to an interesting sight. Sunstreaker poked his head under their wings as they began snickering.

Starscream was on his knees on the floor, wings held in a painful position by the growling femme who'd been also peacefully recharging.

"Help!"

"What did you do?" Thundercracker leaned against the doorframe.

"Afthole sat on me! I though you warned him!"

"We did."

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me go, you deranged glitch!" Leon dug her fingers into Starscream's wings and pulled back while pushing her pede into his aft.

The other two Seekers winced at their leader's position. Leon delivered a fairly painful looking punch to the Decepticon SiC's face before returning to the berth, which she took immediately to hogging.

"Ow."

"Night, Screamer~!" Skywarp wiggled his fingers at the Seeker Leader. Starscream glared and used one of his favourite Earth actions; flipping the bird.

Sunstreaker shook his head, grinning as he returned to his corner in Thundercracker's room.


	32. Cuddles

Leon pulled herself away from the warm water pouring down on her helm, and sighed. She stepped under the air-dry and then strode towards the door back to Starscream's berth.

When she'd stepped into his personal wash racks, the Seeker hadn't been there. However, now that she was clean and had scanned the very nice colour he'd had for one of the towels -a nice amber colour-, Starscream was peacefully on his berth.

Leon prodded the mech.

Unfortunately, Starscream grabbed her wrist, flipped her over his body and pulled her close. For a guy with lady hips, he was surprisingly strong.

And it didn't help that she was on the other side of the berth.

"Lemme go, you big fragger!" Leon pushed against his chassis, which only succeeded in having Starscream nuzzle into her neck and drape on of his legs over her's. Leon stiffened, growling.

Starscream didn't so much as move.

* * *

Starscream woke the next morning wonderfully comfortable and warm. He grinned, nuzzling into whatever he was lying on, only to receive a loud growl.

His crimson optics lifted and he met the pissed face of Leon, who's paint was a nice amber.

"Don't nuzzle my chassis. It's bad enough you snuggle." She glared, green optics angry. "It's worse that you nuzzle. I didn't recharge, no thanks to you."

Starscream shrieked, and flew against the far wall, managing to detach several of his nice fabrics. He ended up draped in plum, green, and red.

"You slagger!" Starscream hissed. "You dare rest in my berth!?"

"No. I dared to poke you. You're the one who grabbed my wrist and decided to cuddle."

Starscream's optics dimmed and he left without a word.

"Impolite fragger!" Leon yelled after him, exiting the room to find Thundercracker and Sunstreaker seated on the Cybertronian sized couches in the main room the Trine had. Sunstreaker's back was facing her.

Thundercracker wolfwhistled.

"That's a nice colour!" Ellie grinned when she and Skywarp entered the room. Sunstreaker turned, curious.

Leon grinned, jumping over the couch to land beside the mech. She stole his Energon cube and drained the rest.

"Hey! That was mine!"

"And now it's gone."

"Question!" Ellie threw up her hand as she suddenly realized something. "How are we supposed to tell the Autobots that 'Sundancer' is Leon?!"

"Frag." Sunstreaker cursed, staring at the two Seekers, who didn't look phased.

"That's easy." TC shrugged. "We can get into Starscream's memory files. He was there for the entire thing. We'll send them the clips of the operations."

"Send it to me first." Sunstreaker requested. His curiosity had peaked when Leon came back as a Cybertronian femme.

"Sure thing. It'll take most of the day, though."

"I'm bored. And hungry." Ellie whined.

"We'll play a game." Leon carefully took Ellie from Skywarp and placed her on the table.

"Great idea!"

* * *

"Optimus! Twins! Ironhide!" Ellie and Leon yelled. Skywarp and Thundercracker shared looks, and watched.

"Damn! Your Twins beat my Optimus!"

"Again?"

Ellie nodded.

"Optimus! Twins! Ironhide!"

"Hah! My Ironhide beat your Twins!"

"Slag!"

"What are you doing?"

Neither of them bothered to look up, continuing to play their game of Optimus, Twins, Ironhide. "Playing a game."

"What kind of game?"

"A random game that we came up with. Wanna play?"

Skywarp and Thundercracker shared a look for a moment before shrugging. "Not like we have anything better to do."

The four of them sat in the corner.

"Optimus! Twins! Ironhide!"

"Aw! My Optimus was defeated by your twins!" Ellie pouted at Thundercracker who puffed up.

"And so was mine..." Skywarp pouted too.

"My Ironhide kicked your Twins' aft!"

When Sunstreaker woke from the nap he was having nearly two joors later, he found Leon rushing towards him.

"Sunny! Save me!"

"Don't call me-" He grunted, catching her body as she leapt on him.

"Safe zone!"

"Hey! There were no safe zones when we started!" Thundercracker complained, hand about a foot away from her shoulder. "Not fair!"

"Fair!" Ellie cried, make a break for Sunstreaker, who looked a little confused. Thundercracker poked the human.

"You're it." He grinned, and took off towards the other side of the room.

Skywarp was perched on a small ledge on the vaulted ceiling.

Leon grinned and made to get up, only for Sunstreaker's arms to tighten around her waist.

"Sunny?" Leon shuttered her optics at him, but Sunny's optics were dim.

**/Sunny! We're here!/**

"Where's the footage?" Sunstreaker turned his sharp blue gaze to TC, who's optics widened.

**-private link; Thundercracker is sending video file "Leon Surgery".**

**-private link; Sunstreaker has received video file "Leon Surgery".**

**/Sides, you have to send this to Ratchet and the other Autobots./ -Sunstreaker**

**/Huh?/ -Sideswipe**

**-Twin link; Sunstreaker is sending video file "Leon Surgery"**

**/Holy Primus! What the frag! I'll send this right away! Are you with her? And Ellie? Her Cybertronian arm?/ -Sideswipe**

**/It's fine. I'll see you soon. Promise/ -Sunstreaker **

A large boom shook the base.

"We're being attacked. We need to get you out of here." Thundercracker lifted Ellie, transforming swiftly into a jet and tucking the human into his cockpit. Skywarp did the same, and lowered so Sunstreaker could launched himself onto his wings and back. Leon was left standing awkwardly on the ground.

"Come here, idiot." Sunstreaker extended his servo and pulled her up. "Skywarp can carry both of us."

"Isn't this, you know, dangerous?!"

"Duh." The gold mech snorted, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down to lie on the purple Seeker.

"He's done this a million times. He and his twin call it Jet Judo." Skywarp informed them, before taking off through the doorway and down the twisting halls after his brother.

Thundercracker shot around the corner up ahead and Soundwave appeared from a doorway after him. Skywarp did a roll over the Communications Officer, who clamped his hand down on Leon's ankle and planted his pedes locks into the ground.

Skywarp shot forward, and Leon slipped from under Sunstreaker's grasp.

"Leon!" Sunstreaker growled as Leon was dragged into the throne room they'd just passed.

* * *

"Lemme go!" Leon kicked at Soundwave's hands as he dragged her towards Megatron, who looked amused.

"Request: Denied." Soundwave glanced back at her. "Suggestion: Use manners."

Leon growled at him as he threw her before Megatron's feet.

"Get up." Megatron stared down at her, helm propped on his servo.

"No."

"This will be much more enjoyable if you stood."

Leon stuck her glossa out. The Decepticon leader backhanded her.

"Stand up, and stand before me, Sundancer. It would be best if you did as I say. I knows what little _accident _will occur if I lose my temper."

Leon stood, grumbling, with her servo over her now dented cheek plate.

"Good femme. How old were you before Knockout preformed your surgery?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Leon spat. Megatron raised his hand, and the femme flinched. "Twenty-one."

"An adult." Megatron leaned forward and his eyes swept over her smaller body. Leon shuddered, making a face. "Soundwave?"

"Compatibility: thirteen percent. Reasons: subject is non-submissive."

"That will be no problem. A firm hand with ones sparkmate is necessary when you are powerful." Megatron rumbled, grabbing Leon's wrist and dragging her forward. "Knockout will repair you once I am finished."

"Query: What of the Autobot attack?" Soundwave's visor flickered.

"You may lead the attack while I am occupied with other...activities." He drew a claw down Leon's cheek.

"Order: Acknowledged." Soundwave bowed and moved to leave. The door slid shut behind him, and Megatron's fingers went to work, unlatching her chassis plates.

"Don't touch me!" She slapped his hands away.

"You will be my sparkmate." Megatron's optics narrowed. "However, if you'd rather take your armour off yourself, be my guest."

"Frag you."

"You will be, later."

"Gross. Go die in a hole." Leon sneered, crossing her arms. Megatron growled, rising. He backed Leon into a corner, and his claws slid beneath her chassis armour...

Just as the wall exploded.

* * *

**So, cliffy much. Maybe Cliffjumper wants to jump off it?  
**

**No.**

**Anyway, "Optimus, Twins, Ironhide" is basically Rock-Paper-Scissors, TF-style**

**Optimus is paper, Twins are scissors, and Ironhide is rock.**

**Or leader, blades and cannon. It's close enough anyway.**


	33. War Cry

Really. The wall just exploded. One minute there, the next not. Debris rained throughout the room, and Leon used the distraction to kick Megatron where it hurt most, in the cord-piece.

The Decepticon leader growled, moving his arms away. Leon ducked under his arm and sent a rather powerful kick into the back of his knee-joint before racing towards the wall-exploder.

Who turned out to be Optimus Prime.

"Oh, thank Primus! Do have any idea how glad I am to see you!?" Leon threw herself at Optimus' leg. "Sunny and Ellie are with Skywarp and Thundercracker. Don't shoot them."

Optimus gave her a strange look.

"I'll shut up now."

"Leon, I will have to ask you to step outside and find Ratchet. I will hold back Megatron until such a time that we can all evacuate safely."

"Yes, Boss Bot, sir!" She saluted and scrambled out of Optimus' hole.

"Megatron..."

"Optimus Prime." The Decepticon leader growled, before firing his fusion cannon at the Autobot Commander.

* * *

Leon scrambled over the piles of rubble and various building bits, green optics scanning for a way out. As a shot came flying towards her, installed battle reflexes kicked in and she threw herself down. The mask and visor she'd been keeping in sup-space quickly slid out, and several targeting systems popped as well as the status of her weapons.

She actually had several she'd never used before, adding to her cannon, blasters, and the Kung-Fu she'd learned when she was in high school.

And now, Leon was really glad she'd kept practising, because she was going to need it.

Barricade was coming for her.

The amber femme growled, and lifted her servos, clawing her fingers. Barricade lifted an optic ridge and pulled out his saws.

Leon's optics narrowed, and she planted her pedes. Primus, she was glad for Tiger Style.

The police Con charged, swinging wildly, and Leon drove her foot into his knee-joint. The rubble behind her was used for leverage, and she delivered a Tiger Palm to his chin before pulling out one of her blasters and driving a shot into his shoulder.

Barricade roared, swinging. His blades caught her abdomen, and Leon howled, smashing her fist into his wrist before kicking him away and bolting.

Barricade fired after her, but his aim was off. He vanished in the dust seconds later as Leon left him behind.

Knockout was the next 'Con in her sight, and she crouched behind a large pile of rock as he fired at one of the Autobots through the dust and semi-darkness. She bared her teeth and launched of the rocks, catching the red medic by the head and slamming him into the ground.

"My paint!" He screeched. His opponent laughed, and Leon glanced up quickly to see Arcee. She grinned, waved and turned her attention back to the medic.

She drove her fist into his cheek. "That was for groping me!" Leon slammed a kick into his stomach. "That was for my uterus!"

She dropped her elbow into his neck and slammed fist into his face again, before dragging her partially clawed down his back. Paint peeled off.

Knockout made a choking sound, and he shuddered.

"That was turning me into an Autobot femme."

Arcee rolled up on her single wheel, and extended her hand to Leon. The amber femme smiled back at the pink femme, and allowed Arcee to help her up. Knockout twitched on the ground, and Arcee slammed her fist into the back of his neck.

Knockout's optics dimmed and flickered off.

"Hey." Arcee planted her hands on her hips.

"Hi, Arcee."

"So, your story is true? Sideswipe spread it around. The video file of your surgery." She kicked Knockout the best she could with one wheel. "Asshole deserves more."

"I wanna kill him, but finding Ratchet and getting Ellie to him are more important. Have you seen Thundercracker or Skywarp?"

"Why do you need the Seekers?"

"They wanna defect, and TC has Ellie."

"We'd better start looking." Arcee rolled forward a bit and then stopped. "You know, now that you're a femme, you can probably access the femme bond. It's be nice to be able to talk to someone over it again, especially after Moonracer died."

"Who was Moonracer?"

"She was one of my sisters, a sniper and a medic. She died in the battle at Eygpt, taking a blow to protect Sam and his girlfriend."

"Oh. It would have been nice to meet her."

"Duck." Leon dropped to the ground and Arcee fired over her head. There was a staggering sound and a large thunk. Leon glanced over her shoulder, blinking at the Decepticon who'd just fallen on Knockout.

"We should get going."

"Hang on. I wanna try something first." Leon crouched behind the two 'Cons who provided enough cover for both the two femmes.

"What are you...? Are going to try and access the bond?" Arcee frowned. "It'll take a while."

"Try helping me."

"Right."

**/...n.../ -Arcee**

**/Arcee?/ -Sundancer**

**/Leon?/ -Arcee**

**/Hello...?/ -Sundancer**

**/Hurry up/ -Arcee**

**/I can hear you!/ -Sundancer**

**/What the frag?!/ -Chromia**

**/Chromia! I found Leon! She'd part of our bond now! Where are you?/ -Arcee**

**/Hi, Chromia!/ -Sundancer**

**/Why do you come up as Sundancer?/ -Chromia**

**/Cause I do. Can you tell us where the frag you are?/ -Sundancer**

**/I'm with Ironhide and Skidz/ -Chromia**

**/We'll be there soon/ -Arcee**

**/You've got to get through Soundwave first/**

**/I have an idea/ -Sundancer**

"What kind of idea?" Arcee looked over at her smirking companion.

"How quiet can you be?"

* * *

Ellie sat sulking inside Thundercracker's cockpit, arms crossed and glaring at the controls.

"Don't be mad." He muttered. "You're really creepy when you're mad."

"I'm not mad. I'm sulking."

"Close enough."

The mocha women huffed, glancing out as Flatline scurried by, grinning. She slammed her foot into the controls of the fighter jet.

"Thundercracker, let me out."

"I can't do that!"

"Let me out, or turn around and help me shoot that asshole!" She jabbed her finger in the direction Flatline had taken off in. Thundercracker spun, allowing Skywarp and Sunstreaker to shoot by.

**/TC?/**

**/Keep going. It's all good/**

Skywarp pulled a tight turn around the corner, and Thundercracker opened his cockpit. Ellie narrowed her eyes both against the wind, and in a glare as she activated her cannon, which was more than happy to shoot stuff.

Flatline glanced behind him as the first few blasts flew wide. Unfortunately, the next shot caught most of his face, and ripped away.

Flatline shrieked.

"Ha! That's for my arm, ya asshole!" She cackled, firing down on his body with Thundercracker's help. She leaned forward, and jumped.

"Yee-haw!"

Thundercracker transformed, moving to catch her. However, Ellie fired madly at the black and red medic, and Flatline's optics and spark both dimmed seconds after she landed.

"Ow. I shouldn't have done that."

"Idiot. We have to find the Autobots."

"Right!" Ellie saluted with her cannon, wincing as it hit her forehead.

* * *

Chromia crouched atop a pile of rocks, firing down on Soundwave as he attacked both Ironhide and Skidz. Her blasts weren't powerful enough to get through the Communication officer's thick armour, but they were enough to fry the protoform. Unfortunately, Chromia was in a position where she couldn't shoot the protoform through armour cracks.

The blue femme growled, shooting a glance at the twin-less Skidz and Ironhide. The little green bot was doing surprisingly well, battling a blue and white dinosaur, who came up when scanned as Overkill.

"Anytime, girls." Chromia muttered, switching her blasters for her cannons. Soundwave turned his head towards the femme, and lifted his arm to fire a shot.

Luckily for the Autobots, unluckily for the 'Cons, Arcee and an amber femme burst from the dust and crashed onto Soundwave's back. Arcee hooked her leg around Soundwave's arm and began ripping at his armour.

The amber femme, pulled out a cannon that was nearly as big as Chromia's own. Soundwave faltered with as shot to his shoulder, and Arcee pulled.

Ironhide went into action again, and a blast to Soundwave's shoulder joint had his arm spiralling away with Arcee still attached.

"Query: What do you hope to accomplish?"

"We're here to get Leon and Ellie, fragger." Chromia spat, smirking internally.

"Statement: Not happening. Reason: Femme Sundancer, formerly human Leon, is Lord Megatron's sparkmate."

"Like slag I am!" Leon snarled, slapping her hands over his audio processors, and firing into his injured shoulder as she leapt off.

Soundwave staggered, looking dazed. Ironhide, Chromia, Arcee and Leon renewed their attacks.

"Overkill," The dinosaur looked up from his rant at Skidz. "Return."

The blue and white bot grumbled but jumped forward, and his body shifted until he looked like a large cassette tape, which flew into Soundwave's chest. The Communication Officer's body shifted too, and Soundwave thrust himself into the sky, flying easily back to the base entrance, where Megatron and Optimus could be seen duelling.

Ironhide switched his cannon over to the amber femme, glaring heavily. Chromia rolled down her rock pile, helping up Arcee before gliding over to the newest femme.

"Nice to have you back, Leon." She clapped her servo down on Leon's shoulder the best she could, seeing how Leon was three feet taller.

"That's Leon?" Skidz shuffled over, curiosity in his optics. Leon nodded. "Hi."

"Ironhide," Chromia vented, shaking her helm. "Did you not look at the video file Sideswipe sent us all?"

"No. Why should I?" The weapons specialist grumbled.

"Do it."

Ironhide muttered several choice words under his breath but accessed the video file. His optics snapped to Leon, who wiggled her fingers.

"But the femme in the video is purple."

"I scanned a new colour."

"Fine. But I'm watching you." Ironhide pointed a cannon at her.

"Arcee, Chromia, I need to find Ratchet, Ellie and the two Seekers."

"Right." Chromia nodded. "I'll look for Ratchet."

**::Thundercracker?:: -private link; Sundancer**

**::Yeah?:: -private link; Thundercracker**

**::Where are you and Ellie?:: -private link; Sundancer**

**::Ellie is with Ratchet, I'm about two kilks from where you are. Want a ride?:: -private link; Thundercracker**

**::Sure.:: -private link; Sundancer**

"Found them. Ellie is with Ratchet. I'm grabbing a ride." The blue Seeker swooped down and hovered beside the amber femme while she grinned. Leon jumped on, balancing carefully as Thundercracker took off again. A sharp crack rippled to the audio processors of the Autobots, telling them that Thundercracker had magnetized Leon to the top of his Sukhoi Su-37 alt mode.

"I thought only the Twins did Jet Judo." Arcee chuckled, firing at a new Decepticon.

"Apparently not." Chromia joined her sister.


	34. Let's Go Home

Sideswipe clambered back onto the purple Seeker's back, and held on as he shot into the air again. Sunstreaker, the _real_ one, was still on the ground, shooting away at the ground attackers.

Fortunately, no Decepticon expected an attack from the sky. The newly made Dive-Bomb Judo was working excellently. Skywarp was more than happy to help, which was surprising because he'd been carrying Sunstreaker for a while.

**/Target, below you. 'Con called Breakdown. I'll be there to help/ -Sunstreaker**

**/Rodger-dodger!/ -Sideswipe**

**::Jumping.:: -Sideswipe; private link**

**::Right!:: -Skywarp; private link**

Sideswipe threw himself off the jet, pulling out his blades. The unsuspecting Decepticon howled as the silver front-liner drove the weapons into his neck. Breakdown fell, but another Con took his place.

"How many are there!?" Sideswipe growled, lashing out as Sunstreaker joined him. The whined of jets told them that someone was behind them. Both twins swung.

"Hey!" The twins looked down and Sideswipe grinned sheepishly. "Watch where you swing!"

"Sorry Leon!"

"Humph. As for your question, there are five Decepticons fighting with Arcee, Chromia, Ironhide, and Skidz, Prowl is fighting two more," Leon fired a shot over Sideswipe's shoulder, taking out a black 'Con attempting to sneak up on them. "Bee, Ratchet and Uncle Will's men are fighting another three. You guys have a hoard. But I'm here with back up!"

Thundercracker and Skywarp landed behind her. Sunstreaker nodded, optics narrowed. Sideswipe pulled Leon close and hugged her, nuzzling into her neck cables.

"Uh, Sides?"

"Later, bro." Sunstreaker thumped his brother on the shoulder. Sideswipe pouted as he let Leon go, turning to leap into the hoard of 'Cons.

"Now what?" Skywarp scratched the back of his helm.

"Kick some aft!" Leon jumped on the nearest 'Con, driving her blaster under the edge of his back plates. The shot burst from his chest, straight through his spark.

The two Seekers shared looks and looked up, where Starscream was hovering.

"I suppose we take out Screamer?" Skywarp mumbled. TC nodded, and activated his thrusters. Skywarp followed after him.

* * *

Chromia and Arcee were grinning as they dismantled their Decepticon foes, blasting with cannons when they couldn't rip with their servos.

"Wonder how many are left?"

"No idea. Just take out as many as you can."

"DECEPTICONS!" Megatron roared, holding a servo to his injured helm and the other to a large gash in his stomach plating. "RETREAT!"

"Convenient timing. Let's find Ratchet." Arcee retracted her gun and began rolling away. Chromia went after her.

"Has anybody seen Mirage?" Prowl joined them nearly a breem later.

"I'm here. I was..." Mirage suddenly materialized next to the group of Autobots. "Playing with the Decepticon consoles."

"Let me guess. You rigged them to explode."

"Me? Explode something? You have the wrong mech, _carina_." Mirage said smoothly.

"I have no idea what you just said, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with the fact that I'm a femme." Chromia snorted.

"What about femmes?" Ironhide asked, appearing from behind a miniature wall of Decepticon parts. Close behind him, the rest of the group followed. However, there was no sign of the two front-liners nor Leon.

"Not much. Just that Mirage is flirting again."

"I most certainly am not!" Mirage protested haughtily. However, the indignant look on his face had Chromia laughing. Patting his shoulder, she grinned.

"I know, I know. There's already another femme in your life."

The former noble chose not to reply to that, causing Ironhide to raise an optic-ridge. "Am I missing something?" the black mech asked.

"You haven't noticed that Mirage has been spending time around a certain organic femme?" Arcee chose to butt in. "If I recall correctly, he kissed her on New Years."

Mirage again chose not to say anything, though his faceplates did turn a faint purple.

"There is a seventy percent chance that the relationship would work." Prowl just _had _to add his own two-cents in.

"Can we not focus on my love life," Mirage grumbled. "And focus on finding the Twins and Leon?"

"Hasn't someone commed them yet?" Ironhide grunted, crossing his arms. Clueless looks were shared before most of the Autobots opened up the public Autobot link.

**::Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Leon...Where are you?:: -Skidz**

**/Leon?/ -Arcee**

**::Oi! Idiots! Get your afts over here!:: -Ironhide**

**::Help.:: -Mirage**

* * *

"Where did Thundercracker and Skywarp go?" Leon asked, planting her hands on her hips with a frown. Her green optics scanned the hoard of fleeing and downed Decepticons.

There were no Seekers. The whine of jets sounded behind her, and Leon turned to see Starscream.

"There you are." He sneered, grabbing her around the waist and hauling her frame over his shoulder. "Megatron does not appreciate what you did."

"LET ME GO! I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT _ENOUGH _OF MECHS THROWING ME OVER THEIR SHOULDERS!"

"I can't let you go. _Lord_ Megatron expects you in his berth all day. Of course, you'll probably have to wait for a while. He's got to clean up the mess your Autobots _friends _made."

"I'm going to hurt you." Leon snarled as Starscream shot into the air. She kicked her pedes against his torso.

"You can try, femme. You can try." The Seeker laughed, lowering through one of the higher entrances. Fortunately for Leon, not so much for Starscream, Skywarp appeared out of nowhere, and the Trine leader was so startled that he dropped Leon towards the ground.

She shrieked, squeezing her optics shut until she landed on a hard surface.

"Hold on tight, Leon." TC rumbled, magnetizing her pedes to the top of his alt-mode again. The blue jet activated his thrusters and shot towards the group of Autobots Leon could plainly see from the height they were at.

The femme frowned, glancing down at the jet before take an unneeded gulp of air.

"What's wrong!?" Thundercracker asked, and Leon felt the vague tinglings of what must have been a scan. "Your cooling fans kicked in."

"I forgot in all the commotion that I'm terrified of flying in planes."

"I'm not a plane. I'm a jet. And you're on top of the jet, not in it. You're kind of too big." He pointed out, joined seconds later by Skywarp. "Starscream?"

"He's in stasis." The purple jet grumbled as they made their descent to the ranks of Autobots. Cannons and blasters were aimed their way, and their only saving grace was the fact that Leon was perched on the back of one of the jets.

"Thundercracker, Skywarp," Optimus Prime nodded, not having drawn his weapons yet. "What is your story?"

"Optimus Prime," Leon shuffled over to her twins, and drew Skidz over to her as well. Ellie was seen in Ratchet's palm, obviously having been sedated by the Autobot medic. The two jets lowered to one knee. "We'd like to defect from the Decepticons and join your cause."

"And why is that?"

"We never actually...wanted to join the 'Cons in the first place." Skywarp mumbled, though he was still loud enough to hear. "So, we wanna join the Autobots."

"We will place you on probation with a guard twenty-four seven for several orns. If you prove yourself worthy in this time, you may join the Autobots."

Ironhide grumbled, deactivating his cannons. Leon grinned up at the twins, a hand a top Skidz' helm.

"Let's go home."

"Let's go home quick," Mirage smirked. "Because this place is gonna blow in about a breem."


	35. TMI Guys

"Hey, guys? Question." The Autobots and humans turned their heads to look at the femme. "Considering we're nearing the road...Would now be a good time to mention that I don't have an alt mode?"

Sideswipe sniggered, grinning at his brother as the Decepticon base behind them exploded. The mushroom cloud of beauty framed Leon's new body; standing with her feet planted, and her hands on her hips, helm tilted slightly to the right.

Sideswipe liked that look. It was fragging cute.

"You will have to scan the next vehicle to travel past." Optimus' smirk could be heard behind his battle mask as he continued down the rocky slope. Leon pouted, and strode after the Prime, cursing him in any languages she knew.

The two Decepticon deserters had taken to the air, and had promised to meet the Autobot team on the main body of land. They'd jetted off after Prime had given them the go ahead.

But that meant leaving a grumpy Leon with the option of walking to the nearest road, or staying behind. She didn't exactly want to do either, but a few whispered words from Sideswipe had gotten her going. The silver Corvette had grinned, and sauntered after her with a smug look on his facial plates.

As the road came into view, Leon scanned over the area. Her face, to say the least, was priceless as a 1960's Honda Civic puttered into view, rust blowing off it's bumpers and hubcaps. Several dents and scraps had appeared in it's body, and the back window was covered in silver duct-tape.

"Oh, frag no." Leon snarled.

"You don't actually have a choice." Ratchet smacked her over the helm, and glared at her until the femme had scanned it. A replica of the Civic appeared in her spot, amber paint dull, dents in the body, one window missing.

Arcee gave the femme a sympathetic look as she and Chromia transformed into their motorcycle alt-modes.

**/It'll be okay, hun. You'll get another alt-mode soon!/ -Arcee **

Leon's end of the bond was silent as she followed quietly behind Mirage and the two femmes. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker pulled out behind Ironhide, who pulled out behind Ratchet, who was behind Leon. Prime drove regally at the front of the convoy, red and blue custom paint shimmering in the cold Norwegian sunlight.

* * *

Leon was smugly grinning to herself in her head, revving her powerful engine. However, this managed to get Arcee and Chromia's attention.

Their holoforms shook along with their frames, as they took a good look at her. Ratchet, who'd been behind the femme the entire time, snickered and his lights flashed on before turning off again.

This, of course, alerted Ironhide, who peered around Ratchet and vented. That made the Twins curious.

**::Hey!:: -Sideswipe**

**::Hay is for horses, Sides.:: -Sundancer**

**::That's my alt-mode!:: -Sideswipe**

**::I know. I look pretty sexy in it, don't you think?:: -Sundancer**

**::I will second that motion. You look way better in that then Sides does.:: -Sunstreaker**

**::But! But! That' _my _alt-mode!:: -Sideswipe**

**::I'm borrowing without permission.:: -Sundancer**

**::Are you quite done?:: -Ratchet**

**::_Raaatchet_! Make her scan something else!:: -Sideswipe**

**::Prime's alt-mode is much too big, as is mine and Ironhide's. Chromia, Arcee and Skidz are much too small for her frame. Mirage is inches too large, along with Sunstreaker's alt-mode. The only logical re-scan would be your alt-mode. It is cruel and unusual punishment for Leon to have that ugly old Civic for her alt-mode, no matter how temporary.:: -Ratchet**

**::But-:: -Sideswipe**

**::Stop your whining and learn to share.:: -Ratchet**

**::I'm good at sharing...femmes. But only with Sunny.:: -Sideswipe**

**::Don't call me that.:: -Sunstreaker**

**::That's TMI, guys.:: -Skidz**

**::Enough. This bridge will take us to the nearest island, which will in turn take us to the mainland.:: -Optimus Prime**

* * *

Leon kept her optics peeled as they drove towards the Bardufoss Air Station. As the Autobot convoy peeled around the corner, a parked silver car caught her attention. The femme grinned internally and scanned it as she was stopped by a red light. Luckily, the streets were rather empty so her transformation went unnoticed by the humans, and everyone behind Ratchet.

**::You're going to hurt something if you kept switching alt modes.:: -Ratchet**

**::This is the last scan, Ratchet. I promise. My alt-mode is fragging awesome.:: -Sundancer**

The amber femme peeled around the corner and sped up to the femmes.

**/Now that's an alt-mode/ -Chromia**

**/Isn't it great?/ -Sundancer**

**/What is it?/ -Arcee**

**/It's a Koenigsegg Trevita. It goes zero to one hundred kilometres in two point nine seconds./ -Sundancer**

**/Really?/ -Chromia**

**/Yeah! Goes four hundred ten kilometres per hour at top speed/ -Sundancer**

**/Let me guess; the first thing you're going to do when we get back to Diego Garcia is race the twins/ -Arcee**

**/Pit yeah!/ -Sundancer**

**/You realize that there's only three of those Trevita right?/ -Chromia**

**/Now there's four/ -Sundancer**

* * *

The flight back to base wasn't as bad as Leon had thought it would be. She was sandwiched between the Twins, covered in a safety net, and she had locked her wheels.

The moment their plane touched down, the net was off and the hatch was down, the three sports cars shot out like rockets. Their destination was the race track. Thundercracker and Skywarp landed nearby to watch.

Fortunately, Optimus had commed ahead to warn the remaining Autobots that they were bringing home Decepticon deserters. The two flight-capable mechs were watched under the suspicious optic of Prowl while Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Leon skidded around the track's corners.

* * *

Ellie's dazed eyes blinked open to the familiar Autobot Med-Bay roof, and an IV drip. The mocha woman did a mental check over, prodding each limb she had with her mind and flexing several muscles.

However, when she got to the arm that had been replaced, there was no response. The human female had been able to make the metallic arm respond to her movements, but it seemed that it had a glitch.

'_Or not...'_ Ellie frowned as she looked at her stump.

"Ratchet!"

There was no answer from the medic.

"Raaaaaaatchet! Heeeello! Doctor Tingles!"

"Will you be quiet." Ratchet's grumpy grumble came from her right, where the IV was. Ellie blinked up at him.

"Hiiii." She grinned, looking around. "Ratchet, when did you get gremlins?"

"Side effects." Ratchet muttered. "I hate side effects."

"I don't want a vacuum, Mister Gremlin." Ellie cooed, before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

When Ellie next woke, she was met with the sight of more gremlins, but they were selling dusters this time along with the vacuums.

"Nooo. I don't waaant them." Ellie moaned, glaring.

"I will save you from the marketing gremlins, Ellie!" Ellie turned towards the new voice and grinned at the purple moose with a disco suit on.

"Okay, Larry!"

* * *

Larry and the Gremlins had common appearances withing Ellie's time while she was drugged and without an arm.

Doctor Tingles had promised to make her a better one, and he was even going to engrave the Autobot symbol on it for her.

But today, there was a new visitor in the Med Bay.

"Oooh~! Look Larry! It's Lord Squishy-Joe of the Giant Purple Donuts!"

The enormous red and blue custom painted mech glanced down at her before continuing on.

"Ratchet-"

"Doctor Tingles isn't here, Lord Squishy-Joe of the Giant Purple Donuts." Ellie grinned up at the mech.

"And where is Doctor Tingles?" 'Squishy-Joe' chuckled.

"He said something about Energon. And then he skipped off singing something about sunshine, lollipops and rainbows."

"I see. Get well soon, Ellie."

"Bye-Bye, Lord Squishy-Joe of the Giant Purple Donuts~!"

* * *

**So, everyone knows. Ellie IS DRUGGED AND HALLUCINATING. **


	36. Moose Song

"Doctor Tingles!" Ellie screeched and Ratchet turned his helm to look at her.

"_What_?"

"The gremlin is trying to sell me vacuums and dusters again!" She wailed. "And Ernie's trying to make me buy a rubber ducky. Larry's on juice break."

"Juice break?" Ratchet folded his arms.

"You haven't heard the Moose Song? Doctor Tingles, that is not acceptable!" Ellie shook a finger at him.

"You will have to sing it for me then." The CMO sighed, pinching the bridge of his nasal passage.

"This is a Repeat After Me song!" Ellie gave Ratchet a pointed look and he rolled his optic.

"This is a Repeat After Me song."

"There was a great big moose!"

"There was a great big moose."

"He liked to drink a lot of juice!"

"He liked to drink a lot of juice."

"There was a great big moo-oose~!"

"There was a great big moo-oose."

"He liked to drink a lot of juice!"

"He liked to drink a lot of juice."

"Singing way-o-way-o~!"

"Singing way-o-way-o."

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh!"

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh."

"_Waaay_-o-way-o!"

"Waaay-o-way-o."

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh~!"

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh."

"What are you doing?" Ellie and Ratchet, one elated and one exasperated, turned to look at the cherry red mech in the doorway to the Med-Bay.

"I'm teaching Ratchet the Moose Song!" Ellie crowed. Mirage lifted an optic ridge.

"Side effects. I _hate _side effects." Ratchet muttered in Cybertronian.

"Cherry, I'll teach you too!"

"At least I don't have to suffer alone."

"The moose's name was Fred!"

"The moose's name was Fred."

"He liked to drink his juice in bed."

"He liked to drink his juice in bed."

"The moose's name was Fr~ed!"

"The moose's name was Fr~ed."

"He liked to drink his juice in bed!"

"He liked to drink his juice in bed."

"Singing way-o-way-o~!"

"Singing way-o-way-o."

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh!"

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh."

"Waaay-o-way-o!"

"Waaay-o-way-o."

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh~!"

"Way-o-way-o-way-o-way-oh."

**::I hate you.:: -Mirage**

**::Well, _you_ wanted to know where Ellie was. You didn't _have_ to visit her, and _I_ _didn't_ make you.:: -Leon**

**::This is _torture_.:: -Mirage**

**::Oh _please_. It can't be that bad!:: -Leon**

**-Mirage is sending Live Footage to Leon**

**::Oh my Primus!:: -Leon**

**::Torture, I told you.:: -Mirage**

* * *

"'Streaker, Sides, you've gotta see this!" Leon darted over to where her friends were seated on the couch.

"Don't call me that."

"I'm gonna do it anyway."

**-Leon is sending Live Footage link to Sideswipe and Sunstreaker**

**-Sideswipe is recording Live Footage for folder Blackmail**

"You have a blackmail folder?" Leon blinked her green optics at the silver twin. Sideswipe was silent a moment, leaning forward before nudge through the twin bond snapped him back into focus.

"Uh...Shh!"

"What? No bribe?" Leon smirked, recording the Live Footage for later too.

"Sideswipe-" Sunstreaker started to speak.

"Sunny has one too!" Sideswipe pointed accusingly to his brother. Fortunately, the rec room was empty.

"Hey! And don't call me that!"

"You realize I could spread this information, which I will..." Leon looked very smug, crossing her arms over her chassis. "Unless you bribe me."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stared at one another, conferring over the Twin bond before Sunstreaker gave a resigned sigh.

Before Leon knew what was happening, Sideswipe had his lip plates pressed against her own. It was nothing like the human kisses she'd shared with other human men, or even Sideswipe's holoform; this was _electric_.

Her arms wrapped around the mech's neck, and she pulled him closer, a purr rising in her chassis. Leon could vaguely feel Sunstreaker's hands on her waist and his own mouth against the cables on her neck.

"Hah! I knew it! I won!" Arcee's voice halted the three in the middle of their activities.

"What?" Sideswipe sounded a little breathless, but his hand didn't leave Leon's cheek. The other hand and arm he was leaning on.

"Hang on. _PROWL_!"

"I am right behind you, Arcee. There is no need to yell. What do you want?" Prowl poked his head over the pink femme's shoulder. "Ah, I see. We won the bet."

"What exactly is going on?" Sunstreaker lifted an optic ridge.

"There was a bet going for how long it would take for the three of you to get together." Arcee shrugged, striding into the rec room for a cube of Energon.

"_Oh_. Like the one we have for Mirage and Ellie? They're _not_ making progress right now. Leon, send them the link."

**-Leon is sending Live Footage link to Arcee and Prowl**

"Hah! Side effects. I love 'em when it's not me~!" Arcee snorted. Prowl merely shook his head, before lifting his Energon cube from Arcee's hand and leaving again.

* * *

"Ratchet, now that we're done the _Moose Song_," Mirage made a face as he turned to the medic. "My chassis is bothering me."

"Chassis pains?"

"Aches. Chassis _aches_."

"Where?" Ratchet pushed Mirage onto a berth beside Ellie's, and tapped the red armour pieces.

"Around my spark. Or my spark...I can't tell." Mirage slid open his armour plates so Ratchet could look. The medic brightened his optics as he peered in, nodding once before turning to get a few tools.

"A few of the wires are wrapped around an Energon line, and two have come out. How the frag that happened, I don't know."

"How is Ellie?" The red mech glanced at the mocha human. "And your repairs?"

"Her new arm was crudely constructed, so I took it upon myself to create a new one. It's taking a long time, and a lot of Energon." At Mirage's confused look, Ratchet tilted his head to the pile of metal and the partly constructed arm on his work table. "My hands are too big; I have to use my holoform."

"I see. That is understandable."

"There. Any easy fix. Get out."

"Yes sir."


	37. Just a Dream

Leon's green eyes snapped open, and she blinked a few times before attempting to scream.

Key word: attempt. All that came out of her mouth was a slight rasping wheeze.

The smug red and silver face above her was definitely enough to make her automatic defensive strategy come into play.

She slapped him.

"Oww!" Leon screeched, bringing her hand back to her chest. It took a moment to register… "I have hands!"

Both of the pale fleshy appendages were lifted into view and Leon examined them with great gusto. And then she looked back up at the Decepticon doctor.

Her hand lashed out again, and Knockout retreated, nursing the hand-sized dent in his cheek.

"It didn't hurt that time." Leon frowned suspiciously. "Why didn't it hurt? What the frag did you do to me, Knockout?"

"You know my designation?!" The red mech recoiled, bringing his hands away from her smaller body with a sneer of disgust.

Leon shot him a '_Duh'_ look. "Obviously."

"I never informed you!" He flailed wildly, searching for a logical answer to this statement.

"Didn't you? Oh." Leon shrugged.

"It was Thundercracker, wasn't it!?" Knockout pointed at the young woman.

"Who?"

Knockout glanced at the wall behind him, then to the innocent and slightly clueless look on Leon's face before striding over to the solid wall….

And slamming his face into it, hard enough to leave a dent.

* * *

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Ellie glanced around the corner of the vent, and then glared at the grate before ducking into a ninja roll. It would have been perfectly executed, except that she slammed into the wall on the other side.

"Ow."

A sudden plasma blast ripped through the grate, and Ellie fell still, plastering herself against the side of the vent.

A glowing red eye glanced up through the rather impressive hole, and then moved away again.

"I got it~!"

"Sure thing, Skywarp. Whatever helps you recharge during lunar cycle."

Ellie sighed, shuffling farther down the vent.

"_You are very reckless, femme._"

The mocha skinned woman nearly screamed, but remembered at the last minute where she was.

"_God dammit, Mirage! Give me some warning!_" She hissed into the headset connected to her ear.

"_Hurry up, femme. I cannot block your signal for much longer._" Prowl's voice interrupted their quarrel.

"_Alright, alright. I'm going._" Ellie moved forward, sliding herself around the corner of the vent she was in and peering down a grate nearly two hundred meters away. The mocha skinned woman shifted until her feet were over the grate before kicking downwards.

The grate fell to the ground below with a sharp clang and Ellie poked her head into what was obviously the brig.

"Yo, taxi-paint!" She smirked. "How ya doing~?"

"Get me out of here, femme." Sunstreaker growled.

"Don't get your big boy panties in a twist." Ellie vanished into the vents again, before dropping out a moment later with a rope tied to her waist. The other end of the rope disappeared in the grate hole. She pressed the headset in her ear. "Prowl? I'm in. Taxi is chained up in front of me. Rodger that."

"Right, we've got about four hours to kill before the rescue team shows up." Ellie patted Sunstreaker's pede. He grimaced.

* * *

Leon and Knockout glared at each other from opposite sides of the Med-Bay. Both sets of eyes –optics- were focused solely on the other, and the two didn't even notice as the door opened to admit a slightly dented looking Starscream and his Trine.

"Knockout," Starscream lifted a brow at the scene before him. "Omega-Two is awake?"

"Yes, Starscream." Knockout broke eye contact with Leon. "Omega-Two is awake. I have not tested to see if it is fully operational."

"Stop wasting your time and test! Lord Megatron will have _my _head if you do not complete the Omega project on time!" The Seeker whirled around and out the door.

Knockout made a face at the door, and then grabbed Leon in his shining silver hand.

* * *

Running was getting pretty boring. Even it was through this maze.

Once Knockout had deactivated the holoform over the Pretender body she now had, Leon had realized that she'd been dreaming. And she didn't freak out, simply because she'd seen weirder in her dream.

He'd dropped her in a maze and was watching as she hurtled over obstacles, shot up drones, and figured her way through several puzzles.

Knockout had been pleasantly surprised –not that he'd tell anycon- when "Omega-Two" had been able to active her weapons, and use them, quite efficiently. What she couldn't take out with weaponry, she took out with her fist or heeled pedes.

It didn't bother him that Omega-Two was running around in her protoform, but he knew she'd flip –he had a gut feeling- if some Con walked in while she was doing these tests. He'd have to finish up the armor he'd been nearly finished when she woke.

A jolt of annoyance drove through his system, and Knockout started.

He hadn't….had he?

That would be bad.

Horribly terribly bad, because there was the possibility that Lord Megatron would kick him out if he found out.

The red mech cursed, searching through his processor until he found what he hoped he wouldn't find.

* * *

The moment Ellie contacted him, Prowl let the cloaking system around the human femme drop. Her signal, the one Ratchet had installed per her request, popped back up on his sensors.

**::Optimus Prime, sir, we've found the Decepticon base.:: -Prowl; public link **

**::Good work. Rescue Team, roll out!:: -Optimus Prime; public link**

"_Femme, the Rescue Team is rolling out." _Prowl informed Ellie.

"_Right. Me and Taxi Cab will hold down the fort. And by that I mean w__e'll just sit here, bored out of our minds._"

* * *

Leon peered around the corner of the pristine white maze and pulled her head back as a plasma blast scorched where she'd been two seconds earlier.

There was definitely a drone around that corner.

She narrowed her eyes and her arm whirred, transforming swiftly into a plasma cannon of her own. The once-mechanic darted around the corner; dropping down to the ground in a crouch before firing three blasts that obliterated the large drone to bits.

A sense of hesitant pride rushed through her, and Leon knew at once it was not her own.

The brunette narrowed her eyes and brushed against where the sense of pride was coming from. A sense of connectedness swept over the femme and she growled low in her throat.

"You son of a rusty toaster oven! Bastard sparkling of a slagging….fragging. _GAHHH! I HATE YOU, KNOCKOUT!" _

**/It is not my fault!/**

"FUCK YOU!" She roared out loud, even though Knockout was speaking to her through the unwanted bond.

**/Keep this on the down-low, femme. If Lord Megatron were to find out…../**

"Shit faced mother-fragger. I'm gonna shove a ten-by-eight up your aft so far, your grand-sparklings will feel it!"

**/That implies that you're going to have sparklings, light Spark./**

"What the hell!? Don't call me that!"

**/I'll call you whatever I want and you can't stop me~!/**

"AFT-PIPE!"

**/Immature brat./**

"Useless lump of mech-armor!"

**/Shush, light Spark./**

"Don't _call _me that!" Leon paused, blinking. "I sound like Sunstreaker. Primus, help me."

**/Primus can't get you out of this one./**

* * *

"Lemme out!"

**/Quiet down. I'm trying to speak with Commander Starscream./**

"Does this face looks like it gives a shit!?"

**/I cannot see your facial plates, sweet Spark./**

"I hate you."

**/The feeling is mutual./**

Leon grumbled, kicking a metal foot against the carrying hold Knockout had shoved her into the moment they had left the maze room. She pouted, sulking as Knockout began moving again.

* * *

Ellie froze in the middle of reaching for one of the holographic cards Sunstreaker was projecting, ducking behind his foot and clinging onto the cables there.

"Get off me, squishy." Sunstreaker growled as the cards vanished and the door slid open to reveal an exasperated Knockout.

The red mech's chassis slid open, and so did his carrying hold. He reached inside, grabbed whatever was there, and tossed it towards the wall with no thought.

The person in his hand, Leon pushed herself off the wall as went flying towards it, and tackled Knockout's face.

"Get off me." Knockout growled.

"No! Take me back!"

"Be a good Omega-Two and do as I tell you."

Leon stuck her tongue out. "Nggh! You can't tell me what to do!"

"I can."

"No."

"Yes." Knockout peeled the brunette off his face and held her away from him with two fingers. "I _am _your Opiluk now. Whether either of us like it or not."

Knockout finally registered the fact that Sunstreaker was watching him with a strange expression, and scoffed, tossing Leon onto the yellow mech's shoulder.

"Annoying femme." The medic snarled, stomping out of the brig.

"Taxi Cab?" Ellie poked her head out from around Sunstreaker's leg. "What the _hell _is an Opiluk?"

"Ellie?" Leon peered down at her friend. "Ellie! You're okay!"

"Other than the fact I'm missing one of my arms, yes. I'm okay." The mocha woman snorted.

"What are you doing here!?"

"I," Ellie pointed to herself with her temporary skeleton arm. "Am here to rescue you. Well, I'm not actually doing the rescuing…That's Boss-bots' team's job. I snuck in like a ninja, and gave them the signal to find where we are!"

"How long have I been out….exactly?" Leon lifted an eyebrow.

"Oh….Give or take three months."

"_WHAT_!?"

* * *

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Sooo, yeah. None of the last few chapters actually happened. It most of it was just a dream. **

**So, sorry all of you who thought that Sunny, Sides and Leon were together now…They're still not there yet. And Mirage and poor Ratchet didn't have to go through the torture of the Moose Song. **

**I felt as though **_**Tattoos **_**could use some serious crack….**


End file.
